This Masterpiece Will Fall Apart

I felt nauseated. I was nervous. My palms were sweating and clammy. I was certain I was going to pass out. My heart was pounding so hard I was scared it was going to burst right out of my chest. I couldn't breathe. Did I mention I was nauseated?

I turned my head when the door behind me opened, “Josline Marie Jaulby,” my dad said, “you're going to be late to your own wedding.” I turned fully around and looked at my dad when he entered the room. That's right. Josline Marie Jaulby was finally getting married. Corlynn and Miles had been gracious enough to let us use their backyard for the ceremony. Dad stopped and looked at me up and down, a warm smile on his face. “Sweetheart...you...you look beautiful.” dad said, walking up to me. He put both his hands on my shoulders and smiled at me. I could see he was starting to get tearful.

“Dad, don't start crying. That's only going to make things worse.” I said.

“Well, I can't help it! You'll get this way when your kids get married.” Dad told me.

“You weren't this bad at Airin and Marque's wedding.” I said.

“Oh, yes I was. I just did my weeping in private.” dad admitted. “I'm an actor Josline! I had a reputation to keep.” I laughed at my dad and turned back to look at myself in the mirror.

“I don't feel right dad.” I said. Dad stepped up next to me.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I don't feel like myself in this dress. I'm out of place.” I said. “I can't actually be getting married. This is all a dream and I'm going to wake up any moment now.” I said. Dad chuckled at me.

“This is not a dream, silly.” dad said. I frowned slightly. “In my opinion, I didn't think this day would ever come either. I didn't want my little girl to grow up.” I looked at my dad and smiled at him. “But, here she is; a beautiful young woman, who is accomplished in her career, has three amazing children, and, if she would hurry up, a magnificent husband.” dad said. I breathed in heavily and exhaled. “Are you ready to be Mrs Ramsay?”

“No.” I said. Dad raised an eyebrow at me and then shook his head. He held out his arm so I could link mine through it, and I did. Dad looked down at my feet.

“Of course you're not wearing shoes.” dad noted.

“Of course not! It's an outdoor wedding. Who the fuck wears shoes at an outdoor wedding?” I asked.

“Everyone that's not you.” Dad said. “And Finley.” I laughed at the last bit. We stopped before we got outside, and dad disappeared for a second, probably to tell someone that I was finally ready. I wasn't sure if I was ready or not. And I still felt like I wanted to pass out. Dad came back and linked our arms together again. A small tune started playing outside. Dad looked at me and smiled again, “Ready Moo?”

I sighed, “Ready as I'll ever be.” and that started the walk down the aisle. There were few people outside, mostly because it was just close friends and family. Some people gasped when my dad and I walked outside. My mom, however, nearly burst into tears, but that was expected of her. I honestly almost started crying as soon as I saw Josh. It was weird seeing him in a suit, and not something he would wear to an award show kind of suit, an actual suit. And his hair was neatly done, and the blue had been replaced with silver, which took me a long time to get used to. Josh himself looked at me in shock, and I couldn't tell if it was good or not. He was also standing with Matt, who was his best man, and Mike, Ian and Andrew were also up there. Marque was standing across from Matt, only because I promised him that he would be my “Butler of Honour”. Stephanie, Mariah and Andrew's girlfriend Kelly, who I had become great friends with over the past few years, were also up there.

Dad and I stopped at the end of the small aisle, I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then he “handed me off” to Josh. Josh smiled at me, and I could see his eyes were starting to water over as well. “Oh, don't you start either!” I pointed a finger at him, making a few people laugh, because they obviously knew what I meant.

Josh and I stood adjacent to each other, and then the man who was marrying us, Caleb (he was one of Keith's friends, who Josh and I were also good friends with), spoke up. “Well, you two finally made it, huh?” I chuckled slightly, and Josh smiled. “This day kind of crept up on us all. I think I need to remind everyone of the story of how you two met actually.” Caleb smiled. “Well, it all started when Josline was a wee lass of 12, and Josh, a wee lad of 13. Josh used to pick on Josline. A lot. Oh yes! He would pull on her hair, call her names, all that fun stuff, that is, until Josline's older brother Airin punched Josh in the face.” Caleb told everyone. Airin went “woo!” from where he was sitting, thrusting both his arms in the air. Mom smacked him in the stomach and told him to be quiet. I laughed at him and shook my head. “Yes, Airin, we all know you're proud of that.” Caleb said and Airin smiled to himself. “Anyways, even after all of that, here they are, still holding strong.” I looked up at Josh and smiled, and he smiled back. It was true. Even after all the shit we had been through; all the tears, the fighting, and the horrible mistakes, we were still together. “So, I think these two have written something that they would like to say to one another. Josline, why don't you start?” I looked at Caleb and nodded.

I cleared my throat before starting, “If someone would have asked me if I thought I would marry Josh back when I was 15 or 16, I would of say there was no way I would have. I didn't really know if I wanted to marry anyone. I thought I was going to be living the dream life on the road, just me and my band; no kids, no ball and chain waiting for me back at home. But, then I got attached to someone, and it changed everything.” I said. “Now, I can't imagine sharing my life with anyone else but Josh.” I paused and looked at Josh, “You bring out the best in me. I know we fight sometimes, and I know sometimes I can be the most unreasonable person in existence, but at the end of the day, we know we love each other, and we know that we're always going to be there for one another.” I had to pause again because I felt myself tear up. I looked up at Josh again, this time with more tearful eyes. “I love you Josh. I wouldn't have it any other way.” I pressed the back of my hand against one of my eyes and nodded towards Caleb to tell him I was done.

“Alright. Josh, your turn.” Caleb said.

“I've got to follow that?” Josh said in disbelief, making people laugh. He smiled lightly and took my hands in his. “Like you, I didn't want to marry anyone, because I thought it was pointless. I never wanted kids. I hated the thought of having them. But, I'm 28, I have three kids, and I'm marrying the most beautiful woman I have ever layed eyes on. I'm going to be a little cheesy here and quote something, but you and I might be the best thing.” Josh said, making me snort. “Well it's true. You are the best thing that has ever walked into my life. It kind of frightened me that I fell for someone as hard as I did. Josline, I never want to spend my life with anyone else. All I need is you.” Josh smiled, and I noticed his voice cracked on the last few words.

“I didn't realize things were going to get so emotional here.” I said, wiping a stray tear off my face. Josh chuckled lightly and Caleb only smiled.

“Well, I guess if you two are done your lovey-dovey fest over here, we can move on.” Caleb said and I laughed at him. “What happened to those two little ring boys?” Caleb asked, referring to Finley and Duncan. They both came scurrying over to us, without the rings. “We kind of need something.” Finley and Duncan looked at one another, obviously confused. I shook my head at the two of them and knelt down, telling them they needed the rings. They both went “oh” and walked away from us again, returning with the small pillow that had the rings. Josh and I picked up our separate rings and Finley and Duncan, who looked very proud of themselves, went and sat down next to Corlynn and Miles. Josh and I repeated the whole “till death do us part” part of the ceremony, and put the rings on each others fingers. “So,” Caleb turned to Josh, “Josh, do you take Josline to be your wife?”

Josh looked down at me and smiled, “I absolutely do.”

“And Josline, do you take Josh, even though he called you names and picked on you, to be your husband?” Caleb smiled at me.

“Sure, why not?” I said, causing laughter. Josh laughed and shook his head at me.

“Well, if that's the case...children advert your eyes, because Josh, you may now kiss your bride. Oh, hey, that rhymed.” Caleb said to himself. Josh and I looked at him strangely. “Well, I told you two to kiss!” Josh and I both laughed, and then we faced each other. Josh placed one hand on the side of my face gently and bent down to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and when we finally broke apart, I had the biggest smile one my face. “Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to the new Mr and Mrs Josh Ramsay!”

I was someone's wife. That thought wouldn't click into my brain for a few hours that I was actually married. But I couldn't be happier.

At least I didn't pass out.