Always Something More

“Woah woah woah Rae, you need to slow down.” Kennedy grabbed a hold of my shoulders and looked at me straight in the eyes.

“Start from the beginning.” he told me in a calm voice. I sat down in the chair in front of him. I took a deep breath and started to talk.

“I don’t even know where to start. Maybe the part where he wants to propose to my sister but he doesn't think he can because he has some kind of feelings for? Or maybe that he has always wanted to be with me but yet hes still with my sister? Maybe how he wants “us” to work out? Or wait maybe I should tell you about the kiss.” I said with a sarcastic tone to it. I didn't mean to be talking to rudely to Kennedy but I was just so confused and frustrated.

His eye widened and was totally shocked.“When did you guys kiss?”

“During practice. When I left the room he came and found me.” I said as I let out a deep breath.

“How did you feel after that?”

I opened my mouth but then I stop what I was about to say and a small smirk came on my face. I looked up at Kennedy and he of course already knew what I was thinking.

“I know I shouldn't say it but it was amazing. Ugh” I let out a long sigh and my smile faded, “No! It wasn't amazing, he's made this whole situation so much more confusing. I don't know what to think now.”

“I think your over thinking this whole situation. Do you want to be with John?” With on simple question I was thrown off track.

“I-I ugh, it's not that simple Kennedy.”

“What? Of course it is. Its a simple yes or no question.” It wasn't that easy as he thought.

“Of course I like or love him but Andy's now in my life and me and him are so good for each other. And him and Carmen are meant for each other.”

“Are you joking?” he let out a small laugh. “Carmen and John are not meant for each other. You and him are meant for each other. Sure they have some feelings for each other but what you and John have its different.”

No one has ever said how me and John were meant together. Actually no one has put me and John together in that way. So for Kennedy to say that to me I had to think about it and I guess we were meant for each other. I always had my mind set that he belonged to Carmen and it would never be me. Through the years I always told my self that it would never be me and even thought I did want it to be me, I let it go and was okay with it. But maybe there was a possibility that it could work.

“I don't know what to do?” I said softly.

“I think you need to listen to your heart.” I just looked at him confusingly, I didn't know what my heart want. “But I got to head out. I'll talk to you later.” he leaned down gave a kiss on my forehead and gave me a hug.

“Thanks for being there for me.” We pulled away and we started to walk closer to my front door.

“I'm always here for you. I'll see you around.” he gave me one last smile and a small wave and started to head out.

He turned around as I was about to shut the door. “Oh hey, the guys were saying something about a party on Friday.”

I nodded my head and gave a smile. “Yeah we'll see. Bye Kennedy.”

I walked back into my empty house since Jared and Andy drove to a local guitar center after practice. I took Andy’s car and went back home after me and John had kiss. I couldn't be in the same room as John and sitting next to Carmen feeling guilty. Kennedy came over right after practice to check up on me and now I was left alone.

It was going on 2 and I had nothing to do. I went to the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator door and shut it, I then went to the food pantry and looked at what we had and then shut the door, I wasn't sure if I was actually hungry or bored.

I went up stairs passing Andy's room and saw that it was kind of messy so I thought it'd be a nice to tidy it up for him. I wasn't sure what was clean and what wasn't and I was pretty sure it didn't really matter to Andy he probably picks up whatever he sees. I folded all his clothes and made a neat pile on his now made bed. I lined up a few of his shoes that he brought up against the wall and organized whatever else I saw around the room. That took about a half hour to do and I was still bored.

I went to my room put on a bathing suit top and got my iPod. I went outside and laid out in the sun with my Ipod in my ears. I had my sunglasses on and I watched my surroundings. Time had passed and I was still outside, feeling the sun kissing my skin I was skipping through my Ipod when Andy's cover of Saving Grace came on. I stopped to listen, and it was completely different from when John sang it. A smile grew on my face as I listened to, his voice wasn't anything like Johns and I think I liked that way.

I opened up my eyes and screamed when I felt Andy pull out my ear phones and called out my name.

“Did I scare ya?” he asked as he took a seat next to me.

I let out a sarcastic laugh and just stared at him, “Ha Ha your so funny.” he just gave me a smile in return. “How was guitar center with Jared?” I asked as I paused my ipod and rolled up my ear plugs.

“It was great, we just talked about guitars. This is defiantly a moment I will remember forever.” he gushed out sounding more and more like a fan girl. I couldn't help but to laugh at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Oh nothing. Its just great to hear about your man-crush on Jared.” I simply said.

“Ugh no way. I don't have a man-crush on Jared. I have a crush on you.” he said as he made me blush.

“I like that answer.” I said as he leaned in a gave me a peck on my cheek, it was a cute gesture that made me blush even more.

“Are you hungry?” I said and he nodded his head. “Alright, come on I'll make you something for lunch.” we both got up and headed to the kitchen. We took out some bread and made some turkey sandwiches and ate our food outside again. Today was just a perfect day to be outside. We were quiet for a bit laying out in the reclining chairs, making light conversation when I heard someone yell my name coming from inside.

“I think someone is here.” I told Andy as I got up to check it out. I opened up the sliding door and was hit with the coolness from the A.C which made my hairs on my arms stick straight up.

“Garrett?” I asked as he turned around as if he was just caught breaking into a house.

“h-hey ugh sorry I knocked but y-you didn't answer so I just came in. sorry.”

“Oh me and Andy were outside. Whats up? Why are you here?” I walked closer to him and leaned against the wall.

“I just um I guess wanted to apologize for the phone call.” he said in a low voice.

“It's fine Garrett, I'm over it.”

“No its not fine. I feel awful about it.” He finally looked up at me and had sad eyes.

“Why? You don't even remember the phone call. If I didn't say anything you would be here.”

“Yeah your right, I don't remember the call, but since you brought it up, I've felt terrible.”

I looked down at my feet trying to hide my small smirk. I looked back at him and I could see that he felt bad but I didn't really want to hear it. “Well thanks for coming over and apologizing.” we just stood in the hallway in an awkward silence, I wasn't sure what this now meant. Were we okay? Or were we still on bad terms? Our eyes caught each others eyes and we just looked at each other and then he spoke up.

“So what did I exactly say?” he said quietly probably really not wanting to hear the answer.

“It doesn't really matter.” I didn't want to make things any more awkward. I looked behind me to see Andy still sitting outside, I wish I was out there with him.

“Please tell me.” he said with pleading eyes.

I let out a breath and looked at him for a moment. “You basically just” I looked at him and was scared to tell him. “you basically said how you want me back and all that boring stuff, it doesn't matter.” I said not making any eye contact with him but when I did he looked so embarrassed. “You were drunk, you felt the need to call, I know you hate me and whatever its cool. I'm over it.”

I just stood there and didn't know what to expect to come from his mouth.

“Rae,” he said in a whisper, I looked up at him and he was already looking at me, “ I um I'm really sorry, I mean I guess that's all true, you know, I want you back, but I know it's over.” He looked so scared while he talked, like he knew that whatever he said might screw everything up. “I should probably go.” he quickly said and started to walk away. He brushed past me and I turned around and just watched he as walked away.

“Look whose running away now.” I said just like all the other times him and everyone commented on me running away.

“I'm not running away, I'm just leaving this house. There's a difference between what you did and what I'm doing now.” He stopped and then turned to look at me.

“Well either way your walking away with out this being situated.” I crossed my arms over my chest and looked at him.

“Look Rae, I don't know what to say after that phone call, am I still crazy for you after you broke my heart? Yeah, I am, but your with Andy,” he pointed out to where we could see him sitting by the pool, “and we had our chance but you had to blow it.” there he went with it always coming back to me. Yeah our relationship failing was my fault but he didn't always have to bring it up. “There's nothing more to our relationship.” He walked closer over to me and stood right in front of me.

“I know I messed us up, I still think about what would have happened if I never did what I did, would we still be together? Or would we have broken up by now? I still think about you. And when I saw you with that girl the other night at the pond,” I looked away I couldn't take looking at his blue eyes anymore, “m-my stomach dropped. You called me the night before telling me how much you wanted me back and how much you loved me, and then the next day I see you with some blond bimbo. Do you know how much that hurts?”

He quickly responded. “Yeah Rae I think I know how that feels since you did that to me.” He started to yell now. “That night at that party, you told me you loved me and then you went and fucked John and you come back home and your with fucking-”

“What's going on?” our attention was pulled away from our intense conversation to Andy coming inside. He looked between us but then his eyes landed on mine and was looking for an answer.

“Yeah, everything is fine.” Garrett said out loud. “ I was just about to leave anyways.”

“No stop, Andy can we just have a moment, please.” I said feeling bad that I was telling Andy to leave. He looked worried but he slowly nodded his head and went back outside.

“Garrett I want to straighten this out, I don't want to be in this fight with you.”

“Well you shouldn't of gone behind my back and fucked John.”

“Oh my fucking god Garrett, you seriously need to get over it. I'm fucking sorry that I did that, I wish I never did, I regret it everyday.” I said with so much anger in my voice. “Yeah I ruined a great relationship with you but I also screwed up me and my sisters relationship and the rest of my life so stop complaining and get the fuck over it.” I said it harshly but I had to. I had to get it through to him that that was the past and that he wasn't the only effect by what I did.

“Whatever Rae, I'm done with this war between you and me, but I can never get over what you did to me.” he raised his hand like he was surrendering, turned around and finally walked out of the house. I stood there for a few seconds to collect what had just happened.

I turned on my heels and walked out to where Andy was. He had this feet in the pool and was swishing them around in the water. I started to run towards him and jumped right into the water, getting water every where which included Andy.

“Your dead you know that right.” he got up to his feet and started to take off his shirt.

“No Andy, be nice. I didn't mean to get you wet.”

“Of really, I don't believe you.” and with that he jumped in and I started to swim as fast as I could to get away from him. I felt his arms around my stomach and he picked me up and threw me to the side. I screamed and I was dunked down into the water. I came up to the surface, filling my lungs with air and I swiped my hair away from my eyes. I looked behind me to see Andy just laughing so hard, which made me start to laugh. I swam over to him and splashed water at him, which he did the same back. We were like that for a while until we both surrendered. He put his hands on my hips and I wrapped my arms around his neck, he leaned down and gave me and kiss on my lips. I smiled into the kiss and was happy I was here with him.

“You know I love you.”