Always Something More

Like every day in Arizona it was hot, but today it was just uncomfortably hot. If I could I would walk around naked but unfortunately this society doesn't approve of that. I didn't want to do anything other than stay inside my nice cool air conditioned house, but Andy had other plans.

“I'm just bored.” he said in a whiny voice.

“Andy it's like a million degrees out, its not worth going out there.” I felt like a mother talking to her little son. “I'm sorry, we'll do something later tonight, I promise.” he nodded his head. We both were lounging in my living room with the faint sound of the T.V on that both of us weren't really paying attention to because it was just boring.

“I'll call Kennedy and have him come over.” Andy smiled at that idea and handed my phone to me.

I dialed his number and waited for him to pick up.

“What up baby girl.” he quickly said.

“Not to much my sugar daddy.” We always tried to sound ghetto but it never worked because we were just so white so that made us laugh.

“What are you up to?” He asked me after our laughing fit.

“Me and Andy are bored, do you want to come over?”

“Um hold on.” I nodded my head even though he couldn't see it. “Do you want to chill with Rae?” I heard him whisper to someone.

“Who are you with?” I asked curiously

“I'm with John, just hold on.” he said again. There was a silence but a small murmur that I was guessing was John talking. “Dude it'll be fine. It's Rae- I'll just tell her to come here.” I was kind of confused as what was going on. Why didn't it matter where we were at. Why was it such a big deal if they hung out with me or not.

“Do you guys want to come over to Johns?” I let out an aggravated sigh because that meant I had to get up, go get dress and then go outside.

“Fine, I'll see you in a bit.” we hung out after saying small good byes. I looked up at Andy who had hopeful eyes.

“Were going to go over Johns.” he let out an excited 'yes' and darted to his room to get ready, and I did the same.

This was the part where I wanted to wear nothing but my own skin. I didn't want to wear anything it was going to be so hot.

I decided on a pair of regular short that might have been a little to short but I think for today it would be acceptable and a long flowy tank top with a bandeau underneath. I didn't bother with my hair I just fixed it and made a high bun on the top of my head. I put a light coat of make up on not really caring what I looked like. I bet Carmen would be over there so John wouldn't be noticing me at least I wouldn't let him. I would be with Andy and stay by his side so John wouldn't try anything on me again.

I headed down stairs and Andy was already waiting for me, I dreadfully opened up the door and the hot air hit us and we both groaned. I walked slow mostly because I had no energy to be up and walking around.

Andy's seats were a million degrees hot, we rolled down the windows until the car was blowing cool air. We blasted the air conditioner even though that's bad to do in the summer but at this moment that was the furthest thing we thought about. I told Andy the way to get to Johns and it was a short drive. We got to his house and I didn't bother knocking on his door and waiting in the sun, so I just opened up the door and yelled out to them.

“In the basement.” Kennedy yelled up. We walked down the hallway and down the stairs which felt like an ice cave but I wasn't complaining.

“Hey.” I said to both of them and I gave them a small little wave.

They looked up from the video game they were playing, they both gave smiles and said a soft 'hey' and then their attention was back television screen. Andy and I walked over and sat on the two seater couch and watch John and Kennedy play their Xbox.

Andy's hand found its away into mine, I looked over at him and gave him a small smile, he leaned over and gave my forehead a kiss and I couldn't help but to smile more. Our attention focus back to the T.V screen. They lost the level they were on and John let out a small yell.

“This is such a stupid fucking game.” he said out loud. I looked over at Kennedy and gave him a confused expression, he just shrugged his shoulders.

“My fucking god.” John muttered under his breath. He got up from where he was sitting and went upstairs.

When he was out of sight I turned to Kennedy and gave him another look. “What's his deal?”

“He got into another fight with Carmen and broke it off with her and he's just taking it hard.” my whole body went numb. He actually broke up with Carmen but why would he be taking it so hard? “You should go talk to him. You always seem to make him happier.” I didn't think that would be a good idea, I didn't really want to be near John or at least be near him alone. I gave him a nervous look and he shook my head.

“Please Rae, just go see if he's okay.” He asked with a pouting look. I gave in, I let out a huff and got up from my seat and went to find John. I called out his name but I got nothing back. I went to the back of the house and saw him sitting under a tree with a cigarette bud in between his lips as he was looking at his phone.

“Hey.” I called out to him. He looked up at his phone, squinted his eyes and gave me a nod. I sat down next to him, we both looked at each other and gave a smile.

“Your pretty predictable Rae, you know that?” my smile faded and my eye brow furrowed.

“What?”

“I didn't care about that stupid video game, I know I suck at it, I only got mad and walked away because I knew you'd follow.” He wasn't looking at me anymore, he was looking more towards the sky.

“Wait what? I'm lost.” He let out a small laugh but I didn't think any of this was funny.

“Did Kennedy tell you that me and Car broke up?” He finally looked at me again and I nodded my head.

“I was done with that relationship. I couldn't take her bitchiness.” I kept on nodding my head slowly and watched him.

“I'm sorry if I was the reason why she became such a bitch.” I said feeling guilty. Before I slept with John, Carmen was so sweet and just a fun, loving person but everything changed that night.

“Don't apologize.” he said that so sweetly “I also broke up with her because I want you Rae.” my jaw dropped after that sentence. I shook my head and got up and stood in front of him.

“No John, you can't do that. You belong with my sister, not me.” I said in a little strict voice.

“I'm sorry Rae that I have these feelings for you but it's how I feel. I'm not in love with your sister anymore.”

“That's fine, I'm not saying you have to be with her but you don't belong with me.” I looked down to the ground not wanting to look into his green specs.

He stood up and reached for my hands and laced our hands together. I looked up and look into his eyes as he stared down to mine.

“I want you Rae, not your sister, and you belong with me not Andy.” I was speechless, I didn't think this would really happen, that he would really break up with her.

“I'm sorry John but I can't.” I said in a small whisper and pulled away from his grip and walked back in.

As I was about to walk down the stairs to the basement Kennedy and Andy were on their way up the stairs.

I gave them a fake smile and waited for them to come into the room.

“Were about to go to In N Out, you want to come?” Kennedy asked me. I shook my head and looked at Andy.

“No I’m fine, is it okay if I take your car home?” I then looked to Kennedy, “And you could bring him home later?” they both nodded their head and Andy gave me the keys.

“Wheres JohnO?” Kennedy asked. As on cue John walked into the room with a smile making it seem like everything was okay.

“Whats up?” he asked and Kennedy told him the plan on going to In N Out and he accepted the invitation. We were all walking to our cars. Andy told the guys he'd be right there, that he was going to walk me to his car.

He grabbed my hand and squeezed it, I looked up at him and gave him a big smile. I wanted to be with Andy. At least that was what I was telling myself. My feeling for John would always be there but Andy was what I needed.

“Is everything okay?” he asked me.

I just shrugged. “Yeah, it's just super hot and I want to go home.” I gave him another smile and tried to push away from the subject.

“What did you and John talk about?”

“Nothing important really.” I made it seem like it was no big deal but if only he knew that it was huge.

“I have an idea what we could do tonight.” I looked back up to him and he had a sheepish smile on.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. When I get home we can relax and leave the house around 8ish. Sound alright?”

“Sounds perfect. What should I wear?” I had to plan a perfect outfit if we were going out.

“Just be comfortable. Jeans or something. It doesn't matter.” I nodded my head and kept on smile. We reached the car by now. He opened my door and as I was getting in I saw Johns eyes on us but I ignored them and got into the car. Andy leaned down so he was facing me.

“Drive safe.” I smiled and nodded my head. He leaned more into the car to capture his lips against mine. The kiss was by far one of the most amazing kisses I’ve ever had, it was filled with so much passion and love but it wasn't sloppy it was a perfect kiss. We pulled away and we both just smiled and a small blush crept along my cheeks.

“See you later.” I finally said and started the car up. He stepped away from the car and watched me drive away. As I passed the house I looked over at John and his eyes were still on me, I looked forward on the road and turned on the music so my mind wouldn't think about him. But that was impossible because the first song that came on was Transatlanticism by Death Cab For Cutie. I thought about changing the song but I left it on and just thought about how I should be with John. He meant so much to me. It was always suppose to be me but that didn't matter because times have changed and I was with Andy now.

I need you so much closer.

~

I let out a huge sigh as I saw Carmen’s car in the drive way. I didn't want to deal with her. She'll probably in the worst mood ever since John broke up with her. I just had to be careful with what I say and do.

I opened the door and shut it softly trying to be as quiet as I could so she wouldn't notice I was home. I was walking up the stairs to my room when we caught each others eyes when she was walking from the bathroom to her room. Her eyes were red and puffy and she quickly looked away and went into her room and slammed the door. I felt bad that I was the reason he broke up with her but it was his decision I had no control over it.

I got to my room and laid on my bed and closed my eyes. It felt good to be in the air conditioned house. I fell asleep like that and woke up about a half hour later. I stretched out my arms and took my hair out of the bun it was in.

I walked down the stairs and heard Carmen on the phone, and she didn't seem happy.

“I just don't get it.” she said harshly.

“Baby,” she sounded so broken “Please, you can't just end this like this. I don't get why your even breaking up with me.” And then I realized she was on the phone with John, I was kind of scared what he would say. I knew he would say anything about me, but still I was nervous.

“What?” she said softly and her head was down in her hand as tears were rolling down her face, dripping onto the counter.

“You found someone else?” Her head popped up and anger was written all over her face but tears were still strolling down. “Fuck you John.” She hung up the phone and slammed her phone on the counter. I wasn't sure what to do.

“Hey, you okay?” I walked closer to her and put my hand on her back and rubbed up and down. But she nudged me off of her.

“Do I look okay Rae? John found someone else. He-” She just stopped talking and looked forward and tears were building up in her eyes. I felt so bad that it was me that was putting her through that pain and she didn't even know.

“Ever since you got here, me and John have been fighting and-” She stopped talking and it looked like she was thinking. She turned and glared at me. She finally got it.

“I can't believe you.” my eyes had widened and I was scared for my life. “So did you make him break up with me?” I just shook my head.

“No, I'm with Andy. I don't want John.” I wasn't sure I liked my answer.

“It doesn't matter if you are with Andy, you've always wanted John, you've always been jealous of our relationship. He was going to marry me and you had to fucking ruined it. I fucking hate you. I want you to leave and go back to mom.” She scooted her chair back and started to walk away.

“No Car, its not like that. I swear I wouldn't do that.”

“Do what?” she turned around pretty quickly. “You wouldn't try and get with my boyfriend? Because you've already done that.”

“I didn't mean it like that. This time it wasn't me, it was all John.” I pleaded her to believe me.

“Whatever Rae, you are not my sister anymore.” She left me in the kitchen alone and I was heartbroken that she didn't want me as a sister anymore. I knew over time hopefully she'd get over it and know that I didn't mean this to happen. But for now it hurt.

I needed to leave.