Status: Uber Active!
Always Something More
Chapter 3
I ran home as fast as I could. Running had been my thing, it always relaxed me. I would put on my iPod and I would run. I would run way from the world. People in Arizona would agree that I was good at running away
I took off my flip flops so I wouldn’t trip and fall. My feet hit the ground and there were times where I would step on a pebble the wrong way but that didn’t make me stop. I stopped because I saw john outside smoking.
I stopped running now and walked closer to him. He threw the bud out and shoved his hands in his pockets and there was something familiar about him. His sweater.
I stopped right in front of him and I don’t think either of us knew what to do. Should I start talking? Should I start with an apology? Would he accept my apology? Should I let him go first, and get the yelling over?
By the look on his face it looked like he wanted to say something also but he just didn’t know where to start and never said anything. So I decided to start.
“That’s your sweater?” sure this was probably on the bottom of the list of things to talk about but we needed an ice breaker right?
He looked down at his sweater that was hanging off of him and nodded “ugh y-yeah it is...”
“is that the sweater that was in my room earlier today?” he looked down and you could tell he wasn’t sure if he wanted to answer this.
“Oh uh yeah, I left it in there because I was....”
“why are you talking to her?” Carmen unfortunately caught up to me and cut off John.
“She just asked me about my sweater, that’s all” he said it like it was fine that id been gone for 2 years and our first conversations was about his sweater.
“Wow Rae you come home from disappearing for 2 years and all you talk about, is his sweater?” it looked like she really wanted an answer. Well my answer was to simply smack her face but I kept it together and was about to respond when Carmen once again interrupted “Come on john, let’s go back to the party” and there they went. John looked back at me his eyes said sorry but I’m not sure if he really knew why he was saying sorry.
--
It had been a couple of days since the night with Carmen and John. I hardly saw Carmen; she was always out with John or one of the other boys. I never actually saw the other boys, I heard their voices but Carmen made sure to keep them away.
I bumped into Garrett in the kitchen while he was grabbing a few sodas and some chips. There was so much to say but I didn’t know where to start.
“You know Garret, I am sorry forever thing” I looked down at my nails and I didn’t want to see his sad blue eyes.
“Just save it for later.” he sounded like we’ve been talking about this for hours now and was tired of it but I hadn’t even started yet.
“Well I guess when you’re ready you know where I am and we can talk about It.” I hope he would come and talk about it. I wanted us to be fine again.
He nodded his head and said a soft “yeah” and left. I once again was left alone.
----
Arizona is known for the hot weather but today was perfect. It was still hot out but it wasn’t as bad as usual. I went outside with my laptop to check my email and facebook.
I had the usual spam mail, which I quickly deleted, a few facebook messages and one email from...my mother?
I opened it up and it was short and sweet, “Hey Darling, I hope your flight went well with no complications. I’m just emailing to check up on you. I miss you. With all my love, your mother.”
“With all my love” what love? Sure my mother loved me, we didn’t exactly say I love you when we departed in the morning to school and work or when we were going to bed but we did love each other. But I think she only loved me was because she had to. She was my mother. She wasn’t not going to love me. I wanted her love, her motherly love and feel that comfort but it didn’t always feel that.
I responded quickly saying that my flight went well and that it’s nice to be home, which is a lie but there was no reason for my mother to know this. I honestly didn’t think my mother would care if I told her the whole story.
I went to facebook and had 3 notifications. I saw right away that Andy posted a video on my wall. I clicked it and clicked on the video player for it to start playing.
There he was. My face lit up and I could help but to smile. He had a blue beanie on, with an off white loose tank top on with his guitar lying on his lap. he smiled into the camera and started to talk “Hey Rae Rae!” that stupid nick name he gave me when we started to become friends “I miss you and I learned a song for you so uhh here it goes” he smiled one last time at the camera and began to sing.
“There was a new girl in town. She had it all figured out. I’ll state something rash. She had the most amazing” he looked into the camera. His green eyes were filled with so much happiness and maybe even love “Smile, I bet you didn’t expect that. She made me change my ways with eyes likes sunsets, baby and legs that went on for days. I’m falling in love but its falling apart…”
“Whose sing that?” I jumped at the sound of Johns voice. He was smiling at me, but this smile seemed like he knew something that I didn’t, I was worried.
“m-my uhh friend Andy” I said looking back at the screen to pause the video.
“He sounds really good, very impressive” he was still smirking to himself
“thanks I guess, I’ll tell him you said that, he loves getting compliments.” John sat down next to me and looked up at the sky and squinting because of the bright Arizona sun.
“I heard your dad and Carmen talking about you coming home” he said he turned his head towards me.
“Oh yeah…?” I wasn’t sure where he was going to go with this
“I left my sweater in your room because I knew you would be coming home and I don’t know I guess I wanted to bump into you and just see you. I’ve missed you.”
“Why do you miss me? What I did was horrible. I don’t get why you’re even out here talking to me calmly and not upset with me.” The other night when I saw him, I wasn’t sure why he didn’t walk away.
“That’s a good question. I have no idea. When I think about what happen I just laugh to myself but I know it’s no laughing matter because what you did was wrong.im still mad at you and it wasn’t fair but it’s whatever now.” He turned his head away and he went into a deep thought.
“You know Rae, I’ve known you my whole life, and that night, that wasn’t you, I don’t know what made you do that. I was drunk, I couldn’t control myself. Carmen broke up with me for a few months after that but then we got back together, and she still doesn’t trust me.” I didn’t want to hear anything that had to deal with him and Carmen.
“So everything worked out for you. You got your perfect life back together.” John O’Callaghan had the definition of perfect life, he had a great high school experience being one of the
“popular” kids, always had a girlfriend and everyone wanted to be around him.
“Oh shut up that’s not the point, you almost ruined mine and Carmen’s relationship, she freaks out on me for stupid stuff now, she doesn’t trust me at all.” I really didn’t care to listen to John’s relationship problems.
“Awesome, I really don’t care about you and Carmen’s relationship. If you’re so annoyed with her then break up, that’s not my problem.” He stood up and stepped away from me.
“Whatever Rae, I tried to come out here to get passed this but I guess we can’t.” And he left without another word.
I sat there and started to cry, I was upset with myself. For the last 2 years, every day I thought about what I did and it wasn’t fair to anyone.
I finished the song that Andy posted on my wall and then called him. I told him what happened and he was a good listener. He didn’t always have the greatest advice but it was nice to just let it all out. After I told him, he cheered me up quickly telling me a few stories, telling me how much he wish he was with me. I’m glad there was someone in this world that cared for me.
I took off my flip flops so I wouldn’t trip and fall. My feet hit the ground and there were times where I would step on a pebble the wrong way but that didn’t make me stop. I stopped because I saw john outside smoking.
I stopped running now and walked closer to him. He threw the bud out and shoved his hands in his pockets and there was something familiar about him. His sweater.
I stopped right in front of him and I don’t think either of us knew what to do. Should I start talking? Should I start with an apology? Would he accept my apology? Should I let him go first, and get the yelling over?
By the look on his face it looked like he wanted to say something also but he just didn’t know where to start and never said anything. So I decided to start.
“That’s your sweater?” sure this was probably on the bottom of the list of things to talk about but we needed an ice breaker right?
He looked down at his sweater that was hanging off of him and nodded “ugh y-yeah it is...”
“is that the sweater that was in my room earlier today?” he looked down and you could tell he wasn’t sure if he wanted to answer this.
“Oh uh yeah, I left it in there because I was....”
“why are you talking to her?” Carmen unfortunately caught up to me and cut off John.
“She just asked me about my sweater, that’s all” he said it like it was fine that id been gone for 2 years and our first conversations was about his sweater.
“Wow Rae you come home from disappearing for 2 years and all you talk about, is his sweater?” it looked like she really wanted an answer. Well my answer was to simply smack her face but I kept it together and was about to respond when Carmen once again interrupted “Come on john, let’s go back to the party” and there they went. John looked back at me his eyes said sorry but I’m not sure if he really knew why he was saying sorry.
--
It had been a couple of days since the night with Carmen and John. I hardly saw Carmen; she was always out with John or one of the other boys. I never actually saw the other boys, I heard their voices but Carmen made sure to keep them away.
I bumped into Garrett in the kitchen while he was grabbing a few sodas and some chips. There was so much to say but I didn’t know where to start.
“You know Garret, I am sorry forever thing” I looked down at my nails and I didn’t want to see his sad blue eyes.
“Just save it for later.” he sounded like we’ve been talking about this for hours now and was tired of it but I hadn’t even started yet.
“Well I guess when you’re ready you know where I am and we can talk about It.” I hope he would come and talk about it. I wanted us to be fine again.
He nodded his head and said a soft “yeah” and left. I once again was left alone.
----
Arizona is known for the hot weather but today was perfect. It was still hot out but it wasn’t as bad as usual. I went outside with my laptop to check my email and facebook.
I had the usual spam mail, which I quickly deleted, a few facebook messages and one email from...my mother?
I opened it up and it was short and sweet, “Hey Darling, I hope your flight went well with no complications. I’m just emailing to check up on you. I miss you. With all my love, your mother.”
“With all my love” what love? Sure my mother loved me, we didn’t exactly say I love you when we departed in the morning to school and work or when we were going to bed but we did love each other. But I think she only loved me was because she had to. She was my mother. She wasn’t not going to love me. I wanted her love, her motherly love and feel that comfort but it didn’t always feel that.
I responded quickly saying that my flight went well and that it’s nice to be home, which is a lie but there was no reason for my mother to know this. I honestly didn’t think my mother would care if I told her the whole story.
I went to facebook and had 3 notifications. I saw right away that Andy posted a video on my wall. I clicked it and clicked on the video player for it to start playing.
There he was. My face lit up and I could help but to smile. He had a blue beanie on, with an off white loose tank top on with his guitar lying on his lap. he smiled into the camera and started to talk “Hey Rae Rae!” that stupid nick name he gave me when we started to become friends “I miss you and I learned a song for you so uhh here it goes” he smiled one last time at the camera and began to sing.
“There was a new girl in town. She had it all figured out. I’ll state something rash. She had the most amazing” he looked into the camera. His green eyes were filled with so much happiness and maybe even love “Smile, I bet you didn’t expect that. She made me change my ways with eyes likes sunsets, baby and legs that went on for days. I’m falling in love but its falling apart…”
“Whose sing that?” I jumped at the sound of Johns voice. He was smiling at me, but this smile seemed like he knew something that I didn’t, I was worried.
“m-my uhh friend Andy” I said looking back at the screen to pause the video.
“He sounds really good, very impressive” he was still smirking to himself
“thanks I guess, I’ll tell him you said that, he loves getting compliments.” John sat down next to me and looked up at the sky and squinting because of the bright Arizona sun.
“I heard your dad and Carmen talking about you coming home” he said he turned his head towards me.
“Oh yeah…?” I wasn’t sure where he was going to go with this
“I left my sweater in your room because I knew you would be coming home and I don’t know I guess I wanted to bump into you and just see you. I’ve missed you.”
“Why do you miss me? What I did was horrible. I don’t get why you’re even out here talking to me calmly and not upset with me.” The other night when I saw him, I wasn’t sure why he didn’t walk away.
“That’s a good question. I have no idea. When I think about what happen I just laugh to myself but I know it’s no laughing matter because what you did was wrong.im still mad at you and it wasn’t fair but it’s whatever now.” He turned his head away and he went into a deep thought.
“You know Rae, I’ve known you my whole life, and that night, that wasn’t you, I don’t know what made you do that. I was drunk, I couldn’t control myself. Carmen broke up with me for a few months after that but then we got back together, and she still doesn’t trust me.” I didn’t want to hear anything that had to deal with him and Carmen.
“So everything worked out for you. You got your perfect life back together.” John O’Callaghan had the definition of perfect life, he had a great high school experience being one of the
“popular” kids, always had a girlfriend and everyone wanted to be around him.
“Oh shut up that’s not the point, you almost ruined mine and Carmen’s relationship, she freaks out on me for stupid stuff now, she doesn’t trust me at all.” I really didn’t care to listen to John’s relationship problems.
“Awesome, I really don’t care about you and Carmen’s relationship. If you’re so annoyed with her then break up, that’s not my problem.” He stood up and stepped away from me.
“Whatever Rae, I tried to come out here to get passed this but I guess we can’t.” And he left without another word.
I sat there and started to cry, I was upset with myself. For the last 2 years, every day I thought about what I did and it wasn’t fair to anyone.
I finished the song that Andy posted on my wall and then called him. I told him what happened and he was a good listener. He didn’t always have the greatest advice but it was nice to just let it all out. After I told him, he cheered me up quickly telling me a few stories, telling me how much he wish he was with me. I’m glad there was someone in this world that cared for me.