Always Something More

“I don't want you to leave.” Andy and I haven't gotten out of bed yet, we were cuddling into each other and trying to spend as much time before he left in a few hours.

“I know, I don't either but I have too.” He wrapped his arm around me tighter and leaned down to kiss my forehead.

“What time are you thinking about leaving?”

“I think about 5” I nodded my head and shut my eyes. I took a deep breath trying to get a good whiff of his scent. I wanted him to stay here and be with me.

“But its 12 now, I wanna start packing so I have enough to be with you.” I stayed put for a few moments and then finally got out of bed and stood up and just stared at him. I put my hands on my hips and looked around at his messy room, I shook my head and laughed.

“What?”

“Your room is so messy and you've only been here for a week, not even.”

“Hey, this is clean to me.” we both let out laughs. I made my way out of the room, I opened the door and turned around to him.

“I'm going to miss you when you leave.” I gave him a soft smile and left the room. I went to my own room to get ready for the day. I put on simple skinny jeans and tank top. I made my way down stairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. When I turned the corner there was Carmen sitting at the breakfast bar flipping through a magazine eating some grapes. I rolled my eyes and kept on walking.

I felt her eyes on me, but I didn't dare to look, because if I looked then that meant I would have to say something or she might say something to me and I didn't want that right now. Andy was leaving in a few hours, I wanted to be focusing on him and not my bitchy sister.

“Hey Rae, why uh, why is John-?” Andy stopped talking as he entered the kitchen and saw Carmen sitting there, he instantly started to blush and get nervous. My eyes were widened and was just glaring at Andy.

Carmen turned around in her seat to look at Andy, “What is John doing?” she said in a snobby voice.

“Oh uh n-nothing.” He stumbled over hes words making this whole situation even more.

Carmen let out a loud aggravated, she got out of her chair and walked past us.

“I'm sorry. I didn't know she was here.” Andy said as Carmen was out of sight.

“I know, I didn't know she was here either.”

Andy walked more into the kitchen and sat down at one of the stools. He looked at me with concerned eyes and it made me nervous.

“So?”

I furrowed my eyebrows and tiled my head to the side. “What?”

“Why is John calling you,” as on cue John's name flashed on the screen, “see he keeps calling.” I grabbed the phone out of his hands and ignored the phone call.

“It doesn't matter, I'll talk to him later,” I put my phone in my pocket and grabbed Andy's left hand. “I just wanna be with you.” I gave him a bright smile and gave him a kiss on the lips.

“So, do you need help with packing?”

“No I got it under control.” I nodded my head and we went quiet. And once again my phone started to ring. Andy whipped his head and looked at me.

“Just pick it up, maybe he really needs you.”

“No it's fine.” I once again pressed the ignore button and placed the phone in my pocket. Andy let out an annoyed sigh and got up from his seat, saying he was going to pack some more. I stayed at the breakfast bar and just enjoyed the quietness, which was ruined yet again because John was calling me. I took out my phone and looked at his photo and how adorable he looked. He had a bright smile on his face.

“Hello?” I said plainly.

“Hey, finally, I've been calling you for a while now.”

“Yeah I know. What do you want?”

“I just want to talk.”

“About what?”

“I love you.”

I instantly started to tear up, hearing those words come from his mouth made me speechless. I had no clue what to say back.

“No John, please don't do this. You know it wouldn't work out.” I cried out to him.

“I don't know anything because you wont let me. We could work out.” It sounded like he was angry, which made me believe that he really wanted me but I couldn't have him.

“I'm going back to Michigan in a month, I'm going to college there. My life is there.”

“But your home is here.” He said in a such a sweet voice it killed me.

“No it's not, no one wants me here. My own father and sister don't want me here.” by the time I finished that sentence I was full on crying. I didn't want anyone to hear me cry, so I went outside and sat on one of the lawn chairs.
John was quiet the whole time. I was kind of worried he had hung up but my phone told me otherwise.

“I want you here. I don't care about anyone else, I want you here.”

“I can't John,” I took a deep breath and tried to stop crying, “I've always loved you, but I need to move on. I'm sorry.” I hung up the phone quickly and my head fell to my hands. I cried so hard. I should be happy I was with Andy, I felt comfortable with that I had sex with him last night but I still kind of wish it was with John.

“R-Rae, you okay?” Andy came over to me and sat next to me. I kept my head in my hands, Andy put his hand on my back and rubbed it.

“Whats wrong?” I didn't know what to say. I took one of my hands away from my face and looked over at Andy, he had such worried eyes.

“I'm just going to miss you.”

“Aw babe, don't cry. I'll see you soon. It's only what a month left, and we'll be together.” he put his arms around me and I leaned my head on his chest.

“I know, I'm sorry”

“Sh, don't apologize.” I nodded my head and he pressed his lips to the top of my head.

We stayed outside for a little bit longer and just enjoyed each others company. We went back inside and went to his room to finish packing. I laid on his bed since he insisted that he didn't need any help. We put on my iPod and blast it and I sang along and he laughed at me.

It was going on 4 o'clock. It was one hour before Andy was thinking about leaving. I wanted to be with him I wanted him to stay and be with me. I hated to be here alone and no one to take care of me. I didn't feel comfortable in Arizona anymore. I didn’t want to be here alone. The boys would be going on tour soon so Kennedy wouldn't be here to protect me. I was taken out of my thoughts when I felt my phone vibrate next to me. I looked at the screen and rolled my eyes.

“Come outside” I sat up and was worried to go outside and looked at him standing there.

I got up from the bed, Andy asked where I was going and I said I told him what was up and to stay here.

I opened the door and stood in the door frame. He was standing there leaning up against his car with his
with his hands stuffed in his pockets. He took off his sunglasses and squinted up at me, I saw his perfect smile, and even thought it was hott out he still had skinny jeans on with a sleeveless shirt. He took a step forward so he wasn't up against his car. I finally took my steps forward and walked closer to him.

“What do you want, John?” I said as I was standing right in front of him, staring deeply into his eyes.

“I want you, I need you.” I shook my head and looked to the ground. “I know you don't see it, I know you don't want this, but I know you really deep down inside do.” he grabbed my hands but I didn't let him fully take them before I pulled away.

“Stop John, please. You lost your chance. I wanted you but now I'm with Andy.”

“We belong together, I feel it.”

“Well I don't, I'm sorry.” I turned around and took a step forward to my house, I felt John grab my forearm and pull me to a stop and turned me around. He took a step forward and pressed his lips to mine. I couldn't react when I heard my name being shouted.

“Rae!” I heard Andy's footsteps coming closer to us. John let go of me and I took a step to the side. My cheeks had redden and I was in complete shock.

“What the fuck man?” Andy shouted.

“Andy, stop it, it didn't mean anything.” I said in a strict voice. He looked over at me and put up a hand to make me stop talking.

“She doesn't want you, so maybe you should leave.” John looked over at me and I felt so bad for him.

“Rae, please.” That was all John said, and that all it took for me to run back into the house. I couldn't be there, I couldn't watch as I broke his heart.

I went half way up the stairs where I fell and cried uncontrollably. I stayed on the stairs, I pulled my knees close to me. Andy came back in a few minutes later. He went up one step when I looked up at him and he looked angry.

“What do you want Rae?”

“I-I uh I don't know. I want you.”

“You don't sound sure.”

“Of course I'm not sure. But I want you instead of him.” I stood up and went down a few steps, I reached out and placed my hand on his cheek. “I want you.” I smiled and he returned it. He grabbed my free hand and placed his other hand on my cheek, he pulled me in and gave me a kiss.

“I don't want to leave.” He said as he pulled away.

“I know, I don't want you to leave either.”

“But we'll see each other soon.” I smiled to that thought, wishing that was now, wishing we were in Michigan, where it was safe. “But I should go get ready, I need to leave soon if I wanna try and miss traffic.” I nodded my head and let go of him. He walked pasted me, going up the stairs. I sat down on the stairs again and was in a daze, everything outside had happened to safe. His lip, his soft lips, that I always want to be on mine. I couldn't believe that he wanted me this badly, he came here to get me back and I shut him down. If this happened two years earlier I would of dropped Andy and went with John. But I grew up and my life wasn't here anymore.

I heard his footsteps getting closer to the stairs, and then one by one he got closer to me. Each stair had its own creek and the closer he got the more I wanted to throw up. There were butterflies in my stomach but they were nice butterflies. He walked passed me and got to the bottom of the stairs. He turned around and gave me a smile, he reached out his hand for me to take, I stared at it for a few moments and finally took it into my hand. We walked out to his car and he put his bags in his trunk. We walked to the drivers seat and just hugged each other. I let a few tears slip out but for the most part I used up all my tears.

“I'm going to miss you.” He said softly into my ear.

''Me too.” We pulled away and let out lips touch each others. He hands wandered up into my hair and held onto me. We finally pulled apart entirely, he gave my hand one last squeeze and he got into the drivers seat. He rolled down his window and shut the door, I leaned down so I was eye level with him.

“Drive Safe, call me when you can.” The tears were forming again, I gave him a soft smile and then another kiss.

“I will. Tell Kennedy and the other boys I said goodbye and it was nice meeting them.”

“Yeah I will.” We gave each other another kiss before he started up the car, I took a step back and just watched him. The thoughts that were running through my head were going crazy. I felt like I was on some kind of drug. My stomach was freaking out and all I could think about was not being with Andy. He started to back out of the drive way with one last wave before my whole body took over.

“Wait! Andy,”