Always Something More

“Were almost there.” I took my eyes off the trees that were passing by as we drove. I looked over at him and gave him a soft smile and nodded my head, he squeezed my hand and returned the smile. I looked back out the window, trying to concentrate on the passing trees but my thoughts still wandered around.

We pulled up into the familiar town, we passed all of the green with all of the old shops around it. We passed the high school and the dinner. Everything around me felt like home now. We turned onto the familiar street and pulled up on the side of the road next to the mailbox and got out of the car.

“I'll get your bags for you.” I heard Andy called out to me.

I turned around to look at him, “Oh no don't worry lets just get inside.” He stopped in his tracks and agree and followed me up to the house. I pulled out my key and unlocked the house, I turned on the light switched to the hallway and looked around. Everything felt like home, that same vanilla smell was still in the air, and the quietness was still there.

“Mom? I'm home.” I yelled out but got no response. I looked over at Andy who was now holding my hand, I shrugged my shoulders and walked down hallway. We went to the kitchen to get some food but that was a rare thing to find in this house.

“Are you glad to be home?”

“Uh yeah, it's nice.” I gave him a smile and looked away. I wasn't sure if I was home, I missed Arizona even though nothing missed me. Yeah maybe John was missing me but he would get over it, he'd probably go back to Carmen because that was who he should really be with. I missed Kennedy of course, I wish I could of said good bye to him and the other boys but it would have been harder to leave. At the moment where I called out Andy before he drove of, I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even realize that I called out his name, when I saw him pressed on the breaks and the car came to a stop my whole body froze and when I told him I was coming with him everything happened so fast. I ran to the house and gathered all the important items; all my clothing and shoes, make up and the few photos that I brought. Andy didn't question my thinking, he was pleased that I was coming with him. The drive was quiet, my thoughts were always on John and wondering if I did make the right decision and my conclusion was that I did. Michigan was my home now and Andy was my future.

“I'm going to go take a shower, you can hang out here if you'd like.”

“Nah, I think I'll head home. I have work in the afternoon. I'll bring in your bags for you.” He walked over to me and leaned in and gave me a kiss. “I'm glad your back.” He gave me a smile and one last kiss and a hug before he left the house. I gave him soft thank you and a kiss on the cheek.

I headed up to my room and fell on to my bed. I missed my bed and all of my pillows. I missed feeling comfortable in a house and knowing that I wouldn't be yelled at. I missed the quietness even though there were many days that I was home alone, this was a different quietness.

I sat up when I heard voices coming into the house. I opened my door and walked down the stairs and saw my mother, Andy and a taller old man standing behind my mother. I gave them all smiles but furrowed my eyes brows when my eyes met my mothers.

“Oh Rae,” She stuck out her arms and pulled me into a hug. “I didn't know you were coming home so early.” We pulled away but she kept her hands on my shoulders and looked me up and down.

“Yeah, I got homesick and wanted to come home with Andy.” I said in a nervous voice. I wasn't sure why I was nervous or why I felt like I was lying. I was homesick but there was something else there that I wasn't sure about.

“Well I'm glad your home.” I gave her a smile and the man who was behind my mother cleared his throat, which made all our eyes travel to him.

“Oh Rae, this is Richard.”

“It's nice to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you.” He stuck out his hand and we shook hands. I wasn't sure if he was being polite or if my mother had really told him a lot about me. I kind of went with the polite route because my mother didn't seem like she would care to tell him about me or Carmen or our old life.

I gave him a smile, “It's nice to meet you also. This is my boyfriend Andy.” He turned to the side and stuck out his hand for Andy to shake.

I looked back at my mother who had a huge smile on her face, I never really saw her like this with our father, this happy and giddy. She seemed like she was in love. She must of felt my eyes because she turned and looked at me, her smile faded a little and she looked to the ground.

“Andy did you grab my bags?”

“Oh uh no I bumped into your mom and came inside, I'll go get them now.”

“I'll help you.” I grabbed his hand and followed him outside. We walked out to the car, hand in hand. The weather was completely different from Arizona, it was still hot but not as hot, and there was a lot more humidity here, by now my hair must of looked like a frizzy mess.

“So you didn't know about Richard?” He looked over at me and I shook my head from side to side.

“No, she never told me.” I was a little upset that she didn't, I wondered how long she had been with him, how long he was a secret.

“Are you okay?” he stopped grabbed my bags from the car and turned and looked at me. I softly nodded my head.

“I know my mother and I don't have that great of a relationship but I just thought that she would of brought him up.”

“Awe Rae, she probably didn't want to tell you yet, until it was serious.” I hated when people just said things just to say them.

“They looked pretty serious,” I said in a stern voice.

“Hey, I bet she was going to say something to you when you got back.” Andy said in a calm voice, trying to quiet me down.
I just nodded my head and gave him an annoyed smile. I leaned down and grabbed one of my bags.

“It's whatever. She seems happy and that's all that matters.” I started to walk away and Andy followed my actions.

We made our way up to the house and set our bags down by the stair case and made our way to the kitchen again.

“Did you guys eat dinner?” my mother asked both of us. And we both shook our heads.

“If you want you can order some pizza. Me and Richard already ate.” I took out the pizza menus we kept around the house and picked out my favorite pizza place. I called the place and ordered for it to be delivered to the house. Andy and I waited for the delivery guy in my room, I unpacked my bags, putting most of the clothing in my laundry basket. I took out my laptop and put it on the charger as well as my phone which was dead. When my phone came back to life I got a bunch of message and voice mail. I let it be and let all the messages come through before I looked at it. I heard Andy laugh at me because of my phone.

“You seem like Miss. Popular.” I turned to him and glared at him.

“Oh shut up.” I walked over to my bed and sat down and leaned in and rested my head on Andy's chest.

“Are you going to call anyone to tell them you left?” Andy asked me.

“I'll call my dad later, but it's not like he'll care.” I said flatly.

“What about Kennedy or-”

“Or who Andy? John?” I cut him off and sat up so I could look at him.

“I wasn't going to say that but I know all those messages are from him.” He was right, both of us knew that he was trying to contact me.

“I don't care about those message. I'll check them out but I'll erase them right away.” I turned my whole body so I was facing Andy. “I'm here you. I picked you. I'm staying here and going to college here and there's nothing he could say or do that will make my mind up.” We looked deeply into each other eyes, we both leaned in and gave each other a small kiss.

The feeling of guilt was coming back, I felt like I was lying to both Andy and myself. I was here in Michigan and I wouldn't see John and hopefully the next time I see him his feelings for me would be gone. But there was still something that was holding me back, I didn't believe myself, telling Andy that I was here and staying with him. If John came to my door right now I wouldn't know what to do. I knew being in Michigan was probably for the best but there was something telling me that even that was a lie.