Always Something More

Johns POS

3 more shows till our stop in Michigan but 4 more days til then, we had an off day in between those 3 shows. This was our first headliner tour, I was super to be partying after every show, I was suppose to be giving the fans a show they'd always remember but I just couldn't do that. I went on stage did my thing, got off stage grabbed a few beers and went back on the bus. I didn't want any one to bother me, I didn't want anyone to talk to me and ask me off I was because they all knew I would lie and say I was fine when really I wasn't.

I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her face and those eyes, those blue eyes that shined so brightly. The way she would look at me when she talked to me, or when I caught her looking at me from across the room. I wanted to see her, I needed to see her and talk to her. I needed to hear her voice and that giggle and her light sighs when she got upset. Everything made me think of her and I couldn't help but to get caught up in my own thoughts.

“Dude just snap out of it. Your JohnO, the famous JohnO, the one who makes the girls scream Ohhh!” Jared said with a laugh. “You can have anyone, lets go out, there’s a bar down the street and lets get you a cute girl.”

I looked over at Jared and shook my head. “You guys go ahead. I'm going to get some shut eye.”

“It's not good that your back here every night moping around. The guys and I are worried.”

“It's fine, I've just been working on some new material and I've been focused.” I hated lying especially to Jared, who was my best friend since 6th grade but him and the other guys just didn't understand what I was going through.

He got up but before he opened the door and turned around and looked at me. “Your not fooling anyone. If you love the girl as much as your saying you do, then get her back.” And with that he left the back lounge and shut the door behind him.

I picked up my phone from the ground and opened it up to her number, I stared at her photo for a few moments before I pressed the call button. I waited for to pick up but she never did and I didn't think she would this time either. I decided to finally leave a voice mail, I hadn't left a voice mail in a while and hopefully this would be the lucky one she would listen to if she hadn't been listening to them.

“Hey, It's Rae, I can't come to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll get back to you. Byee”

“H-Hey Rae, it's me, J-John. I um I just wanted to say that I hope your at the show on Wednesday. The boys and I would love to see you. But I was mostly calling because...”

*

Rae's POS

“So he keeps calling?” My friend Lauren said. We went out to the mall to get away from our crazy lives. We always counted on each other, we could tell each other anything and know the other wouldn't judge the other.

“Yeah and texting.”

“And your not picking up?” She looked over at me with a curious expression.

“Why should I? It'll just make everything way more difficult.” I couldn't pick up the phone and hear his voice, it would break me and I'd probably find myself packing up and going back to Arizona and I couldn't do that.

“More difficult?” She pulled my arm and made me stopped. “You not picking up and talking is making it more difficult. You need to pick up and tell him to either stop calling you or tell him to come and get you.” I looked at her and then looked down at my feet and shook my head. “Rae, seriously the way you talked about him and your time together this summer I can tell that he's different than Andy. I'm just saying pick up the phone the next time he calls.”

I looked up at her and nodded my head. I guess just picking up the phone the next time wouldn't hurt. I just didn't know what to say to him, and that scared me.

We walked around the mall mostly window shopping. We went to one of the fast food places and sat down at one of the table. She told me about the beginning of her summer and her random hooks at the crazy parties. As she talked I looked down at my phone and saw that I had a new text message. I looked up and Lauren stopped talking and was eyeing my phone.

“Is he calling? Pick up.”

“No I missed his call but he actually left a voice mail.”

“Well listen to it.”

I let out a sigh and opened up my voice mail box. I put it on speaker phone so she could hear the message also.

“H-Hey Rae, it's me, J-John. I um I just wanted to say that I hope your at the show on Wednesday. The boys and I would love to see you. But I was mostly calling because.” The line went silent and I was scared that he had hung up but I heard him let out a sigh. “Because I'm going crazy without you. I wish you stayed or at least said good bye to me. I keep thinking back to that last kiss we had right before you left. It was short but I felt something, didn't you?” he sounded so hurt and sad. “I'm sorry I keep calling and texting you but I need you to know that I want you and we could do this. Please call me back. I love you.” And with that he hung up the phone and I didn't take my eyes off my phone. I didn't realize that I had started to cry. I wiped away the tears and looked at Lauren whose eyes were glassy.

“Why are you crying.” I asked.

“He seems so in love with you, it's just so sweet.”

“I don't know what to do Laur. I want to be with Andy but John he's just, he's John.”

“You just need to listen to your heart, that's all I can really say.”

I nodded my head and looked down at my phone again, kind of wishing he would call so I could talk to him. I wasn't sure if I should call him back or just wait. I knew he'd call me but what if he was waiting for me.

We finished our dinners and walked around the mall again and did a little bit more window shopping before we left and went our separate ways. When I got home someones car was in our drive way, which kind of pissed me off because they took my parking spot. I walked up to the front door and opened up the door and heard laughter.

“Mom?” I called out as I shut the door and took of my shoes and put down my shopping bags.

“Were in the living room hunny.” I guess Richard was over but it sounded like there was another girls voice. I walked through the house slowly until I got to the opening of the living room. I looked at my mom and gave her a fake smile when I saw Richard and a teenage girl sitting by his side.

“How was shopping?” She was acting so nice and motherly.

I looked around the room and then back at my mother. She looked at Richard and the girl and back at me.

“Oh Rae, this is Richards daughter, Olivia.” She gestured to her and I gave her a smile and a wave.

“It's nice to meet you.” I said.

“Yeah same.” She said and then looked back down at her phone.

“I'll be in my room if you need me.” I was about to turn away when my mother called out to me again,i turned around and looked at her.

“Please stay and talk with us. I told Richard and Olivia about your trip to Arizona, tell them more.” Great the one thing I didn't want to talk about, I was force to talk about.

I walked over to a chair across from my mother and looked at Richard and Olivia but she wasn't paying attention.

“Um yeah my trip was fun. It was defiantly hotter.” they laughed at that and they looked so interested.

“But isn't it more of a dry heat and not a lot of humidity?” Richard asked.

“Oh uh yeah, I don't think it is humid so I guess that was good.” I both gave them a smile and looked around the room.

“Oh Olivia here likes that band that you know, The something, whats the bands name?” my stomach just thinking about the band.

“The Maine?” once I said their name I saw Olivia's eyes jump up and stare at me.

“You know them? I just thought your mom just said you liked them but you actually know them?”

She was talking to fast, I just nodded my head slowly scared for my life that she might go crazy.

She sat up from where she was sitting and had the widest smile on her face. “So how close are you with them? Are you going to their concert in a few days? I am, I bought my ticket once I found out they were coming here.”

I let out a nervous laugh and just smiled. “Um yeah I uh guess I'm pretty close to them.” I looked away, down at at my phone wishing someone would call me to save me from this conversation.

“Are you going to the concert?” She asked again.

“Probably not.”

“What? Why wouldn't you want to see your friends?”

“Yeah hunny, Don't you want to see John and Kennedy?” My mother asked me.

I looked at both of them, I felt like I was being interrogated.

“Uh I just I don’t know. I don’t want to.”

“Wait so your best friends with John and Kennedy?” Olivia asked.

“Uh yeah I guess you could say that. I don't really want to talk about it.” I got up from where I was sitting to leave the room.

“Hunny please, just stay.” She said in a stern but still trying to be sweet voice. I turned around and just looked at her.

“I've had a long day, I'm going to bed.” I stopped listening to her calls and headed to my room. All I wanted to do was to talk to John or sleep, which ever came first. I opened up my room and got into some PJ's and laid in my bed. I just stared at my phone waiting for something anything to happen.

“Hello?” I said in a soft and tired voice. I must have fell asleep while I waited for a call. I sat up and looked over at my clock and it read 1 in the morning. My eyes squinted from the light that was on my night stand.

“Hey, sorry did I wake you?” His raspy sweet voice made me instantly smile.

“Y-Yeah but uh it's fine. Whats up?”

“I can't believe you actually picked up.”

“I just picked up, I didn't know who was calling me.”

“Oh,” he said and let out a deep breath. “So how are you?”

“I've been good. You? How's the tour?” this wasn't what I wanted the conversation to be like. I didn't need to know about the tour or anything else. I wanted to get this over with, but I wasn't really sure what I want to be over with.

“The tour is great, it's our first headlining tour. Are you coming out to see us?”

I was scared to tell him no because I knew it'd break his heart. I didn't want to make things any more awkward than they already were.

“I'm not sure yet.” I heard him let out another soft 'oh'. “I met your well The Maine's biggest fan today.”

He let our a small laugh, “Oh really? Where?”

“She uh is actually my moms boyfriend's daughter. Once she knew about me knowing you guys, she attacked me with questions. She bought her ticket right when they went on sale.” I said in a mocking voice that made him laugh.

“Well I'm glad someone cares about us and is coming out.” My smile faded and felt bad.

“John, I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I want to move on and be in Michigan instead of Arizona.”

“Why do you want to move on?”

“Because I, I don't know.” I honestly didn't have a straight answer as in why I wanted to move on. I was confused. I just didn't want to hurt anyone else in Arizona. I knew that if me and John went out that would be the end with me and Carmen, even thought it was over it'd be officially over and we wouldn't be sisters. But even that wasn't a good enough answer.

“I want a straight answer. Why do you want to move on? What is honestly stopping you?” He was basically yelling by now and I was getting scared. I didn't see our conversation being this heated.

“I love you John, I do. I'll admit it I'm crazy for you but I need to be in Michigan. It's where I belong.” By the time I was done talking I was crying. I don't think I've ever cried this much in my life. This whole summer was an emotional roller coaster and I didn't like it.

The phone line was silent, I didn't know what to say to make him talk.

“I guess I should go and let you move on then.” And with that he hung up the phone. I just sat there speechless. I pour out my heart and that's all he said to me.

I called Andy and asked him if he wanted to go for a drive or something. I needed to get our of my house and my head.