Do You Understand Who I Am? Do You Wanna Know?

I woke up the next morning and jumped out of bed, running into the living room. I woke up with lyrics running through my head. And they needed to be written down. I looked up at the clock and realised it was only 6am. I had plenty of time till the guys woke up. I grabbed my lyric book and started writing them down.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face.
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away.
If only I knew what I know today.

I would hold you in my arms,
I would take the pain away,
Thank you for all you've done.
Forgive all your mistakes.
There's nothing I wouldn't do,
To hear your voice again.
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there.

I'm sorry for, blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do.
And I've hurt myself by hurting you.
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit.
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss.
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this.

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do.
To have just one more chance.
To look into your eyes and see you looking back.

I'm sorry for, blaming you, for everything I just couldn't do.
And I've hurt myself,
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away.

Oh, it's dangerous,
It's so out of line to try to turn back time.

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do,
And I've hurt myself,

By hurting you.

Around three hours later, I was finished with my draft of a song.

“Morning.” I heard come from the bedroom door way and I smiled over at Alex softly as I slipped my lyric book under my butt to hide it away from his prying eyes.

“Morning Gaskarth.” I greeted and he sighed as he sat next to me on the sofa.

“Do I have to take it or are you going to hand it over?” He asked with a smirk and I sighed softly as I took the book from underneath me.

“How about I play it for you.” I said with a shrug and Alex smiled softly with a soft nod of his head. I grabbed my acoustic and sighed as I began playing the chords I’d figured out. Once I was finished with the song, I looked up at Alex for the first time in around four minutes. He had tears in his eyes as he smiled widely at me.

“It’s beautiful Francine.” He said as he put my acoustic on the floor and pulled me into his chest. “It’s amazing. Your Mom would love it. I love it.” He said and that made me smile slightly. I buried my head in his chest and took in a deep breath of his sweet, intoxicating scent. God, I needed help. I shouldn’t be sniffing my best friend.

“Thank you Alex.” I whispered. “You smell really good.” I whispered almost inaudibly but, he managed to hear it.

“Thanks babe.” He smiled and kissed my forehead softly. Today was going to be good. Two new songs to sing on stage. Hopefully Alex would love the one I wrote for him..

------

I smiled as I made my way on stage with my acoustic guitar. I pulled down my shirt over my shorts so they were no longer showing and made my way over to the stool that was in the middle of the stage.

“This song.. I wrote a few days ago.. No one actually knows about it apart from me. This is for all my friends. The ones that have been with me through everything.. But it’s for one person in particular.. Alex Gaskarth, This is for you.” I said and gently started strumming the strings of my much loved acoustic guitar.

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone
Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening.

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
This heart, it beats, beats for only you

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours

This heart, it beats, beats for only you
My heart is yours.

“Bro, I love you. Your always there for me and I couldn’t wish for a better best friend. My heart’s yours Alex.” I whispered into the microphone with a small smile and jumped slightly as I felt two arms snake over my shoulders from behind. I looked up and saw Alex. I smiled as I rested my head on his arms. I was soon dragged up and into the arms of everyone. I was soon let go an I leaned up to Alex’s ear. “Will you stay with me on stage for the next one..?” I whispered quietly and he nodded softly as he ran off stage to get another stool. He set it down near mine and I ushered people to the side of the stage again. “Now, not many will know but I sadly lost my Mother a few months ago to leukaemia.. This song is for her..” I said quietly and I started singing the song I showed to Alex this morning and everyone stayed silent. A few stray tears escaped as I sang and Alex sat beside me, gently stroking my back as I played the chords. Once I was finished, I rang the last chord and the audience roared with applauds and screams. I saw a few of them crying like myself.

“She can’t go back on that stage guys,” Alex whispered and my band members nodded but I just continued to protest.

“No, no. I can handle this. I’m a big girl.” I said with a smile as I kissed Alex on the cheek and made my way back on stage, motioning the guys on for one last group song.

Once our set was over, it was 6pm and it was starting to get dark already. People where already starting to party and I just wanted to join in.

“Come on Alex, party with me. I’m not going to get drunk. just a few drinks and then we’ll go back to your bus, Okay?” I asked with a small smile and he smiled back as he rolled his eyes.

“How about, we get fuck loads of alcohol and go talk.. I need to talk to you about something..” He asked and I nodded softly as I headed towards the bus. I climbed inside and got fuck loads of Stella before making my way back off and making our way over to a patch of grass away from everybody else.

“So.. What do you want to talk about Lex?” I asked and he sighed softly as he opened two bottles of the Stella. He handed me one and took a sip of his own.

“Did-.. Did that song mean more than you let on?” He asked and I sighed softly as I ran a hand through my blonde hair.

“Maybe.. I don’t know Alex. I don‘t know what I was thinking when I wrote it.” I whispered and he smiled softly as he took my face in his hands.

“What did it mean exactly Francine?” He asked as his chocolate orbs stared into mine intently.

“I-.. I love your smell, When I wake up to you in the morning I feel.. Happy. And when I don’t I get a strange feeling of sadness and loneliness. I love it when you kiss my forehead. And I also loved it yesterday when you kissed me..” I admitted and he pressed his lips roughly to mine, knocking me down so my back was now pressed to the floor. My lips moved in sync with his and the butterflies in my tummy roared to life.

“Why have you decided to admit all this now?” He asked with a small smile as he pulled away from my lips momentarily. His breathing heavily and I’m sure mine was too.

“Because I wanted to. I thought it was weird with us being best friends but then I realised.. What I feel for you is more than friendship..” I stated and he just smirked as he rubbed his nose against mine.

“I’ve felt strongly for you, Francine Scott since I first met you around three weeks ago..” He admitted and I smiled softly at his blushing cheeks. “So.. The bet..” He chuckled and I rolled my eyes as I shook my head.

Nu-uh tuts, This bet is still going on.” I joked and he groaned softly as he fell beside me. “And you haven’t even asked me out yet. We don’t technically go out.” I said with a wink and Alex sat up so he was sat in front of me.

“Francine, Will you please be my girlfriend? If you don’t I think I may just die.” He said and I giggled lightly as I pressed my lips softly to his.

“Of coarse I will Alexander.” I said with a smile and he grabbed my hand, Dragging me up from the floor. “Best go tell the others the bets off.” I said and dragged him towards our tent.
“Guys! Our bets off!” I exclaimed loudly and they all gave us confused glances.

“Why?” Scar asked and I couldn’t help but smile up at Alex as he pulled me into his chest before pressing his lips against mine. Everyone cheered in approval and smiled over at us. “Okay, at least it’s a good reason. Thank fuck your together! The sexual tension was overflowing.” She said with a groan and I winked softly at her.

“You know you just want me for yourself tuts.” I giggled and she rolled her eyes softly.

“Shit, Memories coming back.. Boner.” Alex whispered and I laughed loudly as I softly pushed him backwards. Alex Gaskarth was now my boyfriend.. The boy before me that used to be my best friend, was now my boyfriend.. What the hell?