Wake of Devastation, Lost in Desperation

I followed Sayer deeper behind the bushes. Her chocolate brown eyes constantly glanced back to make sure the others were completely out of earshot. We kept walking until she suddenly halted, resulting in me running into her.

She chuckled to herself as I swiftly regained my posture. But soon enough, the mood was replaced with a worried look. Her eyebrows furrowed and her expression weakened completely.

My heart ache so bad, I just want to see that smile on her face. I didn't want anyone to feel bad for me. No one should be worried about me. I'm strong enough to stand on my own. I don't deserve Sayer caring about me. Especially not after leaving her. I've never felt so undeserving in my life.

But I was glad that Michael and Sayer came to my rescue. Morcaus was finally dead, even though I was slightly disappointed that I didn't achieve my vengeance. I wasn't manipulated into a pawn. I'd rather die than turn into one of them. I should make a promise on that.

Sayer finally spoke up, interrupting my process of thoughts.

"Were you going to leave and try to fight this world on your own?"

The single question lingered in my head as I tried to identify my motives. I don't speak a word because there isn't much to say. Everything is clear in my head. I know what I was thinking when I performed my actions.

By the look on her face, Sayer knew the answer as well.

"Eurydice, listen to me. We are sisters. The guys are family to us. We shall all fight amongst each other no matter what. You can't always expect to be alone. We are your family, we will do anything to protect you. We all want the same thing in life. It is to eliminate the pawns and the creatures that lived to destroy. Why fight alone when we could do this together?" Sayer walked closer almost cautiously. 

I didn't know why she looked uncertain when she gazed at me. It was like she was afraid for my answer. 

"I feel like we are wasting time as a group. You guys don't have to face the problem because if you don't go looking for them, they won't go looking for you. With all the evil in the world, someone has to go look for them. So I took it upon myself to fight this on my own. Plus, feelings get in the way of dominance. The only option to regain my former power was to run" I explained, eyes softening. 

I really hope she understand. Maybe I gave up on trying to handle this by myself but I didn't give up my faith to taking the pawns and Morcaus followers down. I also did not want anyone I love hurt. 

Sayer walked closer to me, but this time her steps were confident. It's like she knew what she was doing. She wasn't hesitant. She was forward when she wrapped her comforting arms around me.

"We love you Eurydice, we can't live without you"

"Sorry Sayer" I apologized, feeling guilty for leaving all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry Chester made you feel this way" she mumbled. 

I froze at the mention of his name, pulling away from the hug.

"I blame entirely on him. He kept pushing you away while he knew damn well you were in love with him" she explained, sensing my confusion.

"Who said I was in love with him?" I tested.

"Eurydice, don't lie to me. Who are you trying to convince?"

I thought long and hard about the question. Chester was a touchy subject for me. Everyone knew that. Everyone knew of our relationship toward each other. He cared about me and somewhere deep down inside, I care about him too. I would never openly admit it but I do.

But being in love with Chester makes me feel weak. It projects my inferiority to the world. I didn't like that. Being in love makes me vulnerable and I can't control my reaction to it. I wanted a nonchalant reaction but that's not what I got. I don't want to love him sometimes.

"Myself" I muttered.

Sayer just looked at me, not in pity but of anger.

"You listen to me, young lady. Cut the bullcrap about the dying relationship of you and Chester. You go and tell him you love him because clearly he isn't going to be the first to reconfirm that. You can come up with as many reasons as you can to why you left us in the first place but we all know Chester drove you away. You love him so much you'd cover up excuses of running from it all. Eurydice, I thought you were strong. If you are strong and dominant, you will openly admit your feelings and face your problems instead of running from it!" she yelled and I'm pretty sure the guys can hear it through the bushes. 

I wish they didn't.

Hopefully.

A silence broke out between the two of us as my mind went into a deep session of contemplation. The words that spilled from her mouth made me think. 

That's when I started to question myself.

Was I really as strong as I made myself out to be? Because now, I feel like a sore loser, a coward. An idiot, a imbecile. But most importantly, I feel so weak, I know I'm unworthy of Chester's love.

If I was strong, I wouldn't have to attempt marriage with Prince Alexi. I wasn't strong enough to stand up to my beliefs and tried to take the easy way out. War strategists never take the easy way out. I did, which makes me inferior. 

I angered Chester because I was weak. I'm pretty much convinced that I conquer the whole world with the art of my sparring techniques but I wasn't strong or valiant. I was a fucking coward. 

My back was turned to all of the major problems. I didn't face them with my own eyes. I didn't handle them, I didn't bare to take the consequences. Which was why I wasn't worthy of the person I made myself out to be.

"Eurydice?" 

Sayer pulled me out of my train of thoughts. Her eyes glanced over at the direction of the guys behind the bushes, signaling me to complete my task.

A nod from my head confirmed my agreement to making this right. She smiled wholeheartedly,  gesturing me to lead the way.

We fiddled through the bushes, pushing our way back to the waiting group. 

Their heads shot up at us and grins plastered on their faces.

I walked closer to Chester, who was looking at the floor and not at me. When I was merely inches from him, he spoke up.

"Eurydice" he whispered.

"Chester"

"I'm sorry fo---"

Not wanting to hear his apologies, I interrupted his speech by smashing my pair of lips against his. His arms immediately snaked around me and I let my legs wrap around him. 

His strong arms lifted me up from the ground as our lips continued to move against one another. The only feeling I'm feeling now is love.

My whole body caused an uncontrollable action. A wave of vulnerability passed me and this time, I actually didn't care. This time, I wasn't going to do anything about it.

Chester is the one I love and I should be apologizing for this disconnection between us. I was the coward who agreed to marry Alexi just to keep other people safe.

If Chester had to marry a princess in order to keep the rest of us safe, I know he wouldn't because he's in love with me and he would stand up for himself. I proved that I wouldn't which stirs up the feeling of self disgust. 

My lips pulled away from his as I forced a small smile. I was happy to be this close to Chester again but I also had a feeling of uncertainty. I don't deserve him. He was the brave knight. I am the coward princess. 

"I love you" I admitted openly, for the first time ever. My eyes gleamed in the sunlight and I've never felt so confident making a confession like this.

"I love you too" he announced, pressing his forehead against mine.

Applause interrupted their special moment.

"That's too cute, but too bad I'm going to kill you all!"

All the heads whipped around and we knew that we now faced our next enemy.