My Everything

Chapter two: Ending Arguments

“WHAT?” I yelled back at my wife. I couldn’t believe we were arguing again. It never seemed to end. I don’t even know what started it this time. Every time I came home it was worse.

“I CAN’T STAND THIS! I’M ALWAYS ALONE! I ONLY HAVE THE KIDS FOR COMPANY. I NEED MY HUSBAND BUT I CAN’T BECAUSE HE’S ALWAYS FUCKING GONE!” She yelled at me. I glanced toward the stairs hoping the boys couldn’t hear this argument.

“YOU KNEW WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE WHEN WE GOT MARRIED. I’M A MUSICIAN; I HAVE TO TRAVEL ITS PART OF MY JOB.” I yelled trying to make her understand once again.

“SO YOU ALWAYS PICK YOUR CAREER AND YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS OVER YOUR FAMILY.” With that she turned and stomped farther into the living room. I followed close behind her. She suddenly whirled around on me, but before I could say anything I cut her off.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? QUIT MY BAND? QUIT SOMETHING THAT’S MY LIFE?” I pleaded with her.

“NO Billie, I want a divorce!” She said quietly. At that moment my world crashed down around me. My everything was leaving me.

“Why? Why can’t we fix this? Don’t you want to try and fix this?” I was desperate.

“I’ve TRIED! I tried so hard, Billie. I just…..I just don’t love you anymore.” She looked tired at that moment. “I haven’t been in love with you for awhile now.”

“So you’re just going to let fifteen years of marriage go down the drain? I love you Adie why can’t you see that?” I dropped to my knees in front of her and wrapped my arms around her waist.

“I’m sorry Billie! I’ll always love you but I just can’t be with you. I….I…I found someone else.” She said not looking at me but stared at the wall behind me. My heart officially broke with the words she had just spoken.

“You did what?” I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. I’m sure she was ripping my heart out and stomping on it with all of her might.

“I found someone else. I didn’t plan it but I fell in love with him.” She said still not looking at me. I stood up letting her go. I couldn’t believe she was leaving. It was hard for me to grasp.

“Do I know him?” I asked knowing if I did I would kill the bastard for taking my wife from me.

“No, you don’t know him.” She stated looking me in the eye where I could tell she was telling me the truth.

“So you cheated on me?” I asked beginning to get angry despite my broken heart. I can’t believe that she cheated.

“NO! I would never do that to you. We are just friends but want to be more. He knows that I’m still married and he’s going through a divorce. I may not be in love with you anymore but I would never, NEVER cheat on you.” She sighed, “He makes me happy, Billie. I’m not happy with you anymore. Even the boys have noticed that I’m not happy.” Mentioning the boys brought another thing to my attention.

“What about the boys? Are you gonna take Jake and Joey from me too?” Adrienne looked at me in shock and automatically shook her head.

“I’ll be taking them with me but you’ll be able to see them anytime you want. I would never keep them away from you, you’re their father.” I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. I still had my boys. Thank god.

“I’m not going to fight for anything. I definitely won’t fight for custody, we’ll share that.” She said looking at me with tears in her eyes. Like all of this was hurting her too. “I just want to have everything that is mine.” I shook my head in agreement with that, that I could live with, for the most part. I walked over and sat on the couch, my hands and my voice shaking.

“We’re really doing this then aren’t we?” I asked in a whisper, hoping that this was just a dream. But tonight it seemed that god was not on my side.

“Yeah, Billie. We are.” She said. We both turned to the stairs when we heard footsteps at the bottom of the stairs. We turned to see Joey holding Jake’s hand standing there.

“You guys are really getting a divorce?” Joey asked sound chocked up. I looked at Adrienne for the answer.

“Yes, Joey we are.” Her words to our children made it final. There was no going back, there was no trying again. No where else for me go, nothing else for me to do. My world was over. “You’ll be able to see you’re dad as much as you want, whenever you want.”

I silently thanked Adrienne for being go good to me despite the circumstances. Joey still had Jake by the hand. Jake had silent tears falling down his face. I motioned for him to come over. He let go of Joey and practically ran to me.

“I don’t wanna go daddy!” He cried. This made my tears come back full force. I always hated it when my children cried and now it was something I couldn’t help. I held my little boy and cried with him. I didn’t care. I was losing everything.

“I know buddy, I don’t want either of you to go but you need to stay with your mother and take care of her for me, since I can’t do it myself anymore. Both of you.” I looked at Joey, he came over and hugged me also and cried along with Jake. What would I ever do without my kids?

The boys went back upstairs not to long after. Adrienne and I just looked at each other, for how long I don’t know. I had stopped crying earlier but they came back as I looked at her. “Adrienne I know you already said this but I want you to promise me that you will never take my boys away from me. I want you to promise me that. If it’s the last thing you do. Please.”

I know I sounded like I was begging but I didn’t care it was for my kids. I would do anything for them. Adrienne looked at me for a few minutes before nodding.

“Yes, I promise to never take them from you, ever. Now I’m going to go upstairs and sleep in the guestroom.” She said standing up. I shook my head knowing that there was no sense in arguing with her about it at this point. She started to walk away but I grabbed her hand stopping her.

“Adie….can I have one last kiss? Just one?” she looked at me for a few minutes before coming back to me and leaning in pressing her lips to mine. She pulled away too quickly for me but I let go.

“You’ll find someone Billie. You’re Billie Joe Armstrong. You’re handsome, smart, loving, caring, and on top of that you’re a hopeless romantic. Any girl would be lucky to have a man like you. I’m sorry that, that lucky woman is no longer me but maybe it was supposed to be this way.” She kissed me once more before turning away and leaving the room, leaving me by myself in a very quiet house.

I had come home a week ago a happy man. I was leaving tomorrow feeling like I had lost everything. The love of my life was walking out of my life and taking my children with her. I was lost; I didn’t know exactly what to do. I walked slowly up to my room, not our room, my room. Lying down on the bed I fell asleep exhausted emotionally and physically, hoping that I would wake up in the morning and find that all this was a dream. But that I found was not meant to be.