Please Be All Mine

When I had finally been able to pull myself halfway together, I got up off the floor of the library and quickly left. The moment my feet touched the sidewalk, I broke into a run. I ran straight past my house till I reached Gerard’s house. I ran to the front door and knocked frantically on it. I almost knocked Mikey over when he opened the door and I darted toward the door that led to the basement and Gerard’s bedroom. I opened the door and I saw Gerard standing at the bottom of the stairs. I could only assume he was going to see what was going on upstairs. I hadn’t been exactly quiet when I got here. Just seeing Gerard’s curious face, and knowing that he knew nothing about what I had just done in the library, caused me to start crying again. I started down the stairs quickly, almost falling, and ran into Gerard’s arms. I buried my face in his shoulder and continued to cry.

Gerard started rubbing my back and that caused me to cry harder. I was stupid for letting Frank kiss me. I didn’t deserve Gerard. I pushed myself away from Gerard, still crying. I tried drying my face, but it was pointless because of the continuous stream of tears leaking from my eyes. I turned away from Gerard, my back facing him.

“What’s wrong, Ellie?” asked Gerard. I felt his hand touch my back and I quickly stepped away.

“I’m sorry, Gerard,” I said through my tears.

“For what?” he asked, sounding worried.

“You don’t deserve me,” I said.

“What do you mean?” Gerard asked.

“I’m the worst,” I said. “I…Frank kissed me…and I let him.”

“What?” asked Gerard.

“I’m so sorry,” I cried. I felt Gerard’s arms around me but I kept my back to him.

“Shh,” said Gerard. “It’s ok.”

“No!” I yelled pushing away from Gerard. “It’s not!”

“Yes, it is,” said Gerard, trying to hug me again.

“How can you say that?” I asked. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven so quickly. “I kissed someone else.”

“I know,” said Gerard. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I still love you.”

“You love me?” I asked.

“Yes,” said Gerard. I stared at him. I started crying more again. Knowing he loved me just made what I did seem a lot worse.

“I don’t deserve you,” I said.

“You really believe that?” asked Gerard. I nodded my head. “Can I ask you something?”

I nodded my head again.

“Do you love me?” he asked, quietly. I looked into his eyes. I saw so many emotions in them. Love the most noticeable of these emotions.

“I…Yes,” I whispered. “I love you, Gerard.”