This Love Was Accidental

"How did it go?!" Cassadee asked me as soon as I entered my apartment.

I laughed.

"I told her everything."

"Everything, everything? Or just about Alex loving her still?"

"Everything, everything." I conformed. "She understood. Demi is such a sweet girl. I honestly don’t deserve to be her friend. I feel so dirty."

"Hey, don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?"

I nodded.

"But I honestly don’t think that I could be so forgiving if I was her. I admire that about her."

Cassadee laughed.

"I have to go to bed now, okay? I’ve got early press and stuff to do in the morning. What about you?"

"I’m still on leave so I think I might head back to Starbucks and talk to my old friends, Xander and Max."

"Awesome." She laughed. "Night, lovely."

"Night lady." I replied as she went to Noah’s old bedroom.

I felt slightly sad, because I really missed Noah.

I pulled out my phone to text her.

　

To No-AH!

I miss you girly!

When ya coming back?

From No-AH!

Miss you too bunches!!

Um...I can asked Zachary,

if you want me too? :)

To No-AH!

YAYY!!! Do that! I miss my

partner in crime! :’(

From No-AH!

We’re coming a week from tomorrow!

:D WOO HOO!!! I’m stoked!

Can’t wait to see ya!

To No-AH!

Me either! :D

Night lady!

I didn’t wait for a reply from Noah before I turned off my phone, and went to my room. I unpacked my charger, and plugged it up. There was no denying that my room smelt like old vodka. I wanted to puke the second I entered the room. I went straight to the half drunken bottles, and started to throw them out. I needed to get my room back in order that it was pre-Jack and pre-Alex. I cleaned, vacuumed, and sprayed air-freshener everywhere. I found my box of pictures from high school still out on the floor beside my bed. I took out my favorite photo of the guys, the one were they were modeling the scarves, and I stuck it on my night stand. After I placed the picture frame, I stuck the box back into my closet to stay again.

I felt like a huge weight had been lifted all over again. This was slowly getting easier. I grabbed my pajamas for the night, and I went to the bathroom. I took a twenty minute shower, and when I got out, I felt a world better. When I finally laid down in my bed, I felt completely different. I didn’t have Alex next to me. I didn’t have his arms wrapped tightly around my body. I didn’t have his head nuzzled in the crook of my neck, and I didn’t have his legs intertwined with mine as I slept.

No, for the first time in almost a month, I was alone in my bed.

And I certainly didn’t like it.

I wanted him next to me. I wanted his arms wrapped tightly around my body. I wanted to feel his head nuzzled in the cook of my neck, and his legs intertwined with mine as I slept. The only problem? I wanted both of them with me. I wanted Jack and Alex, but I know that I can only have one.

My problem is I don’t which one I want more.

Who I want or who I need?

Now I just have to figure out which guy is which.