Smile When Your Heart Breaks

I came to, on a couch this time, and also (to my eternal regret) with the memory of what happened previous to my fainting. I’d never blacked out in my life, and now I did it twice in one day. “This can’t be good for my health,” I groaned, sitting up.

There was collective chuckling, and I saw almost every one of my/Jacob’s guy friends, plus Leah, staring at me, scattered all over the living room. For goodness’s sake… I shot specific looks at Sam, Leah and my cousin before cringing, and Paul for less than a second, before looking away, red.

“I am going to change, then we are going to have a major discussion,” I announced, before high-tailing it to my room. I threw together a blue outfit, grabbed a bright teal bottle of Shatter nail polish, then walked back into the living room. No one had moved. I sat back onto my seat, crossed my legs, then looked between Leah, Sam and Jacob. “Speak.”

I was more patient attentive than I’d ever been in my entire life as the entire room of people explained to me that they were really wolves, or shape-shifters, and not high-blood-pressured individuals on steroids. I did a good job on my nails at the same time.

“So let me get this straight. Paul wasn’t fucking with my head when he said “we’re wolves” and the old legends are all true.”

“Yup!” Seth popped his ‘P’ in response.

“…” I tried to think of what to say as my cousin looked at me anxiously. “It’s a sad day when Paul’s the only one who isn’t bullshitting.” I shook my head and went to the kitchen for food, which I hadn’t eaten for a good 12 hours. “And all I had today was a couple of Redbulls.” I sighed as Quil and Embry guffawed with Seth.

“Actually, I cleaned out your trunk the second time you blacked out.” Leah stated. “And I think you need to learn how to count. “ She held up a clear, plastic trash bag that must have held over 10 said energy drinks.

My jaw dropped and anyone who wasn’t laughing before was definitely laughing now. My OCD for the cleanliness of my car/room/bathroom/personal areas was infamously renown, so there was no denying that those cans were all present from the past 12 hours as well.

“You’re gonna catch flies,” Embry smart-assed at me. I huffed, popping two chocolate-chip waffles into the toaster.

“Bitch. Don’t make me spork you.”

“Ooooh, burn!” laughed the others as Embry pouted.

Eventually, everyone cleared out except for Leah- Jacob had gone into the garage with Q&E (Quil and Embry). I dragged her into the bathroom, grabbing a fluffy towel along the way, and made myself a bubble bath.

There wasn’t much of a reason to be shy as I stripped down and hopped in. Leah didn’t look or anything, but it wouldn’t have mattered if she did. “So what do you think?” she asked me.

I played around with my bright pink loufa. “I’m not sure why this came as such a surprise. I mean, I always knew there were vampires, but I figured I would have known if my family turned into gigantic wolves and prowled about, protecting the village rez, you know?”

Leah gave me the you-make-no-sense but-I’m-going-to-just-nod-and-agree-with-you-anyway motion that she often did. “So what do you think of all this?” I dropped the sponge and looked seriously at her.

Leah looked apprehensive, her guard up as it always was. “What do you mean?”

“You’re the only girl, Lee. From what I can tell, you have to see inside of Sam’s head every time you go out and it probably breaks your heart every time you see him and Emily in it. You’re so much more cold and guarded than you used to be, but that can’t possibly make you feel any better or keep the pain away.”

She turned her head to the side so I couldn’t see her face. I got out and wrapped a towel around me before kneeling down. Leah looked up at me, tears in her eyes, and her expression broke my heart. I felt my eyes water too.

“It does hurt, Dee,” she whispered. “I wonder every single day why it had to be her and not me, and what I did wrong to end up so alone,” she cried. I hugged her tightly, not trusting my voice as she cried into my shoulder. I wished that I could do more; I should have come back years ago when they first broke up.

I didn’t doubt that she hadn’t cried in years. I waited until she let it all out before pulling back and wiping her tears away. “Hey. You’re beautiful,” I told her. And I meant it. “You didn’t do anything wrong and the only reason it could possibly have happened is because you were meant to be with someone better.” I hugged her again. “I love you, Lee. You’ll find your perfect soul mate, even if I have to hunt him down with a pitchfork. I promise.”

That got a laugh out of her, which was priceless to me. “Cold water so your eyes won’t puff, then spa day on me. Okay?” I smiled at her and she smiled back. With all of our crazy hormones flying, we definitely needed professional help to stay relaxed and beautiful.

Leah and I went through the mud wraps and steam rooms, and headed down the hall for our massages. As we rounded the corner, a tall, shirtless tan guy ran straight into me. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what that meant around here. “AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!” I screamed, realizing that I was only in a towel.

“OHMYGOSH!!!!!!!!” the pack-guy hollered. Leah, neither shy nor subtle and always prepared, punched him in the nose, knocking him out cold. We stared. What the heck was Embry doing in a women’s spa?!