Sequel: Don't Stop Now ›
Status: Finished
Break Me Down
Twelve
Lilly was in the back of Garrett’s car since John had obnoxiously called shotgun. Her head was resting against the cold window pane and her hazel eyes were fixated to the changing scenery outside. She couldn’t have told anyone what the two musicians were talking about, if they were conversing at all that is; her mind was too preoccupied with her thoughts. There were only two times in her life where Lilly was scared to see her brother, the first was when she was eight making Kennedy ten and his fish had died while he was away at soccer camp, she didn’t want Kennedy to think it was her fault because it wasn’t she fed him like he told her to. The second was the first time she saw him when she was in hospital after the William incident; again she was afraid he would shout at her for being so stupid and doing something reckless but again she was wrong. This would be the third but unlike the other two this time she had actually done something purposely to make him upset and was dreading the consequences. The closer the little yellow car got, Lilly’s butterflies multiplied and when they turned into her block Lilly almost felt the bile rising up her throat. She got out and thanked Garrett and John before sighing and carrying her bags to her house insisting the boys she was fine, she opened the door with her key not wanting to face Kennedy yet and it was only then Garrett drove away.
“WHERE THE FUCKING HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” Lilly shuddered as her brother’s frame came into view.
“Staying with a friend Ken.” Lilly’s voice came out meek and pathetic.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOU WORRIED ME? I HAD NO IDEA IF YOU WERE ALIVE LILLY AND BEFORE YOU TELL ME I’M OVER REACTING YOU’VE DONE IT BEFORE SO WHAT ELSE WAS I TO THINK LILLY? I COULDN’T SLEEP, I COULDNT EAT I COULDN’T PLAY PROPERLY. HOW DARE YOU LILLY BROCK HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!”
“I’m sorry Kenny I needed to get away.”
“YOU DON’T THINK DO YOU? YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE REPERCUSSIONS OF YOUR ACTIONS YOU JUST GO OFF AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITHOUT A THOUGHT FOR ANYONE ELSE AND... God Lilly I was so worried,” Kennedy’s voice grew soft and a lone tear pathetically fell down his cheek. Lilly’s cheeks then started to get increasingly wet.
“Kennedy I am so sorry I really am, I just did what I thought was best. I couldn’t stay on that tour you were right I was drawing attention to myself but if I came here I would slip back into my old ways.”
“You worried me Lilly. I mean really worried me.”
“You kind of pushed me away though Kennedy. It’s like you don’t know how to treat me after... the accident.”
“Why can’t you say what happened Lilly? Why can’t you admit you... you know.”
“See, you can’t say it either!”
“We’ve never really talked about it have we?” Kennedy sighed coming to a sudden shocking realization.
“No I guess we haven’t, I’ve always been too scared to. I don’t want to upset you.”
“I think we need to talk about, don’t you? Let’s get everything out yeah?”
“Sounds good,” Lilly replied sitting on the sofa. Kennedy took a seat next to Lilly and faced her, getting her full attention.
“I didn’t know how to treat you; I don’t know how to treat you because you don’t tell me to back off or you don’t tell me you want a hug or company or anything. Lilly you need to start living my life.”
“You’re always on my back though Kennedy about this or that, you’re too loose you’re too uptight. You’re my brother though so I can’t tell you to back off because you’re trying to help and I don’t want to upset you but I need to do my own thing Kennedy. I’m getting better now I promise!”
“See I don’t know if you’re getting better because you’ve never told me how you feel about it. I had no clue what was going on in your little head and that honestly scared me. You used to be so open with me but whenever I mentioned anything you closed off.”
“I was ashamed Kennedy, I am ashamed. As weird as it sounds because I didn’t do anything but still I get embarrassed. I feel like I let someone invade me who I didn’t want, it’s degrading Kennedy it really is. I felt dirty, unclean and like someone had taken something away from me.” Lilly took a deep breath as tears threatened to escape once again. Kennedy wasted no time in wrapping his younger sister up in his arms.
“I am so sorry Lilly I am, if I had a time machine I would go back and change everything for you I will and if you want me to back off that’s fine but there’s a condition, something you have to do for me.”
“What’s that Kenny?”
“Get your life back on track yeah?”
“It’s a deal big brother, it’s a deal.”
“WHERE THE FUCKING HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?” Lilly shuddered as her brother’s frame came into view.
“Staying with a friend Ken.” Lilly’s voice came out meek and pathetic.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH YOU WORRIED ME? I HAD NO IDEA IF YOU WERE ALIVE LILLY AND BEFORE YOU TELL ME I’M OVER REACTING YOU’VE DONE IT BEFORE SO WHAT ELSE WAS I TO THINK LILLY? I COULDN’T SLEEP, I COULDNT EAT I COULDN’T PLAY PROPERLY. HOW DARE YOU LILLY BROCK HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!”
“I’m sorry Kenny I needed to get away.”
“YOU DON’T THINK DO YOU? YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT THE REPERCUSSIONS OF YOUR ACTIONS YOU JUST GO OFF AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITHOUT A THOUGHT FOR ANYONE ELSE AND... God Lilly I was so worried,” Kennedy’s voice grew soft and a lone tear pathetically fell down his cheek. Lilly’s cheeks then started to get increasingly wet.
“Kennedy I am so sorry I really am, I just did what I thought was best. I couldn’t stay on that tour you were right I was drawing attention to myself but if I came here I would slip back into my old ways.”
“You worried me Lilly. I mean really worried me.”
“You kind of pushed me away though Kennedy. It’s like you don’t know how to treat me after... the accident.”
“Why can’t you say what happened Lilly? Why can’t you admit you... you know.”
“See, you can’t say it either!”
“We’ve never really talked about it have we?” Kennedy sighed coming to a sudden shocking realization.
“No I guess we haven’t, I’ve always been too scared to. I don’t want to upset you.”
“I think we need to talk about, don’t you? Let’s get everything out yeah?”
“Sounds good,” Lilly replied sitting on the sofa. Kennedy took a seat next to Lilly and faced her, getting her full attention.
“I didn’t know how to treat you; I don’t know how to treat you because you don’t tell me to back off or you don’t tell me you want a hug or company or anything. Lilly you need to start living my life.”
“You’re always on my back though Kennedy about this or that, you’re too loose you’re too uptight. You’re my brother though so I can’t tell you to back off because you’re trying to help and I don’t want to upset you but I need to do my own thing Kennedy. I’m getting better now I promise!”
“See I don’t know if you’re getting better because you’ve never told me how you feel about it. I had no clue what was going on in your little head and that honestly scared me. You used to be so open with me but whenever I mentioned anything you closed off.”
“I was ashamed Kennedy, I am ashamed. As weird as it sounds because I didn’t do anything but still I get embarrassed. I feel like I let someone invade me who I didn’t want, it’s degrading Kennedy it really is. I felt dirty, unclean and like someone had taken something away from me.” Lilly took a deep breath as tears threatened to escape once again. Kennedy wasted no time in wrapping his younger sister up in his arms.
“I am so sorry Lilly I am, if I had a time machine I would go back and change everything for you I will and if you want me to back off that’s fine but there’s a condition, something you have to do for me.”
“What’s that Kenny?”
“Get your life back on track yeah?”
“It’s a deal big brother, it’s a deal.”