Break Me Down

Lilly only had that night stay in hospital, after a rest, some monitoring and a drip everything was out of her system and she got given the all clear to go home. Max was with her to take her back to the bus, between sound checks and interviews all the guys in The Maine paid her a visit except for her brother. Lilly didn’t mind so much as she knew her brother despised hospitals but a part of her liked to believe he would overcome that for her sake. The journey back to the bus wasn’t too awkward thanks to Max, he tried his best to just hold up a normal conversation like everything was okay, and she loved Max for that. On arriving on the bus though it was a different story, Jared engulfed the much smaller girl into an almost none crushing hug. He released her after a time and smiled at her sympathetically before John snatched her away and brought her into one of his own embraces.

“I am so, so, so sorry that happened to you and we weren’t around when it did. If anything bad happened I don’t think any of us would ever forgive ourselves, how are you feeling?”

“John she’s fine I just think she needs a rest right now,” Max said smiling at Lilly, knowing all she wanted was things to go back to normality.

“Thanks, didn’t sleep too good, where’s Kennedy?” Lilly asked eager to see her brother, all she wanted was a hug from him, his hugs always made her feel better.

“In the back lounge, he’s beating himself about this pretty bad though Lilly, word of warning.”

“Thanks Vito, I’ll just go say hi then think I’ll take a nap. If you guys get food or anything let me know.” With that Lilly walked carefully to the back lounge.

“Kenny...” She whispered? Her brother was sitting on one of the sofa’s his head hung low like he was a kid and had been caught drawing on the walls. His iPod was placed next to him but the earphones were wrapped round the contraption. On hearing his name Kennedy looked up and Lilly tried not to look surprised or sympathetic at her older sibling’s eyes. The hazel colouring like her own had turned dull and red lines and bags were prominent underneath his usually bright and flawless skin.

“You’re okay,” he whispered back and opened his arms for a hug, partly because he needed to touch her to confirm she was real and was really there in front of him. Lilly went over to her bother and wrapped her arms round his small but muscley frame, Kennedy squeezed Lilly tight like he never wanted to let go and rested his head on top of her own.

“I let you down.”

“Kennedy stop, you didn’t know.”

“I should have been there for you.”

“Garrett and Pat were there for me.”

“But I wasn’t there for you, I was the one who convinced you to go out, I was the one who wasn’t there for you. Pat called me and I blew him off without giving him chance to explain because I am so selfish and stupid.” A few tears rolled down Kennedy’s face at the thought of something worse happening to Lilly once again, he wasn’t there to help the first time and he kept thinking what would have happened if Pat hadn’t have found her.

“Kennedy you weren’t to know okay, nothing happened I am fine.”

“I’m not doing a very good job of looking out for you am I?” Kennedy mused, hoping Lilly
knew where he was going with this, luckily she understood.

“You think I would be better off back home?”

“You can stay in your room all you like; at least there isn’t any danger there.”

“I’ll start packing if you want me to but please Kennedy, I want you to know I don’t think any less of you as a brother or as a person, I still love you all the same.” With that Lilly got up and walked to the bunks, only once turning around and giving Kennedy a small smile which he returned but it wasn’t much of a grin.

“What the hell are you doing?” Garrett asked casually on seeing Lilly’s clothes spread around the small space on the floor between the bunks.

“Packing, I’m going home Gary.”

“Because of what happened? You shouldn’t let things like that affect you Lilly.”

“I’m not, it’s Kenny, he is so upset, he thinks he is doing a horrible job looking after me and reckons I would be safer back home.”

“What, in your room locked up? That’s no way to live.”

“I know that, I’m beginning to realize that now,

“Then stay, Kennedy can’t be there every second you and I both know that but you have all of us looking after you!”

“Try telling Kennedy that.”

“We can show him...if you stay.”

“I really want to G.”

“Then do! It’s not rocket science, I’m not smart and I know you should stay!”

“Okay, okay. But couldn’t you have come in here ten minutes earlier before I had packed half my things away!” Lilly joked which made Garrett laugh and he hugged her.

“I’m glad this hasn’t affected you,” Garrett said sincerely and looked at Lilly’s face searching for any signs of her reverting back to her afraid and reclusive self.

“Me too, I guess I just feel safe with you guys around I dunno. Also erm... the other night Garrett, I remember what happened and I was so, so drunk. Thanks for not like making a big deal out of it and thank you for not taking advantage. It was a stupid thing to do lets never talk of it again.” In that moment Garrett let Lilly go away for the second time, this time he let her walk do the walking.