Thinkin' Bout Something

003

I let my hands fall back to my side as I smiled softly. “As long as he is happy.” I said letting my heart break silently.

“You’re really okay with this?” Ike shook his head as he cocked his head to the side.

“I’m not okay, but I will be.” I brushed my way past the four of them and their dumbfounded looks making my way to Taylor. “Hey.” I pulled him into a slight hug. “I missed you!”

“Ave?” He almost choked as he said my name. “I didn’t think you would be here this early.”

“Sorry, I hope we’re not bothering you.” I felt kind of shitty. I didn’t want to seem sarcastic or like a smart ass. I was going to heal from the wounds and maybe in the end I’ll be happy for me and not just him and his happiness.

“Of course not.” He smiled. “Ave, this is Natalie.” He pulled the tall thin girl to his side.

“It’s nice to meet you.” I extended my hand and shook hers lightly.

“Zac and Ike told me a lot about you.” She spoke half confidently.

“All good I hope?” Not my finest moments but it was with a grain of salt.

It was a good hour of small talk until I decided to get up and stretch my legs. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” I said grabbing my bag and headed towards the door. The warm spring sun hit me as I readjusted my bag strap and closed my eyes.

Only five minutes passed before there was another person beside me placing themselves on the steps leaning against me. “Avalynne..” His whisper didn’t cause me to open my eyes.

“Hey.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“I think it needed to be worked out face to face.. I didn’t think you would be bringing someone home if you didn’t get a response from me in a few weeks.”

“You should have at least called me.” He was worked up.

“Taylor, you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t have tried to push conversation.”

“You had me believe you didn’t want me..”

“You told me you weren’t ready for me, that you wanted to wait until after this tour. See if I could handle being without.”

“You made it seem very clear you could and that’s what you wanted all along. You didn’t even tell Zac or Ike anything!” He was letting his voice raise and I was finally looking directly at him.

“I promised I would wait for you.. If I didn’t want you at all… there would be nothing to wait for. It was you that couldn’t be without anything… I waited Taylor.. You didn’t.” With that I got back up.

“Avalynne, wait.” My hand was on the knob to the door.

“What?”

“We’re playing a song tonight… strictly about how I always felt about you. I never told anyone it was about you.. Its always been you.”

“Thanks, but I can’t believe anything like that.. If it was always me, she wouldn’t be here.”

“Do you want her to leave?”

“No, I don’t. She seems like a great person Tay. I hope you’re happy.” I let a small smile form on my lips but it was contradicted by the tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t let him say anything else I slipped back inside and went with Ellis, Micha, and Natalie to the side stage area.

I stood against the wall in between Micha and Ellis. When the lights died down I cheer along with everyone else. Singing along loudly and smiling and laughing along with Natalie as well. She was a nice girl. Funny, sweet, and pretty.

“This next song is for someone we have been close to for a long time. Its about one of my best friends.” Taylor said as the crowd cheered. “Well I woke up this morning and the night had been so long. Seems that I had had my mind on you. Well the day, it has begun, and I can't get a minute, can't get a minute without you.” Isaac sang as Taylor looked over at me.

There was no expression on my face. I always loved this song and I never knew it was really about me. I shook my head and sang softly to it. Micha nudged me and gave me a questioning look. I mouthed a usual “don’t worry” and kept myself against the wall.

Once the show was over I didn’t stay long. I said my goodbyes and the girls and I walked back to the car. “Ave are you okay?” Ellis said climbing into my 95 Pontiac Grand Prix.

“Yeah.” I shut the door and clicked my seatbelt.

“Liar.”

“Please, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“What did Tay say to you when he went outside?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter, if its why you’re upset, then it very much matters.”

“I’ll be fine. I told him what I had to say.. Now.”

“Now?”

“Well I very much couldn’t pour my heart out to him with his girlfriend around.”

“Ave… you should have told him.”

“Oh so what, he breaks Natalie’s heart and him and I can live happily ever after?”

“Yeah. Actually.” Ellis stated like it was such an obvious answer.

“I can’t do that. Its his fault… not hers. She didn’t make him do what he did.”

“It doesn’t make what he did right.” Micha put her two cents in.

“I should have spoken up when I had the chance.” I turned the key and changed from park to drive before pushing the gas down.

“If you don’t tell him Ave… you will lose him forever.”

“I will never lose him as a friend.” I chewed my lip as I maneuvered the car through the after concert traffic.

“That’s not what you two are meant to be though.” Micha crossed her arms.

“Thanks, but this fairytale doesn’t have that prince charming and this princess as its happy ending.. In this fairytale I am the bad guy… or the girl that was cast aside. The girl that the prince was supposed to be with, but he lost his heart to someone else. There is always a third heart break in every fairytale.”

“The girl that pained for the prince? The girl that was betrothed to the prince? Is that kind of what you’re talking about?”

“Yeah, but not in such a creepy.. ‘I’m going to marry you Taylor Hanson’ kind of way.” I laughed.

“Its all going to work out. Hey, maybe she’ll break his heart.” Ellis joked.

“It would be her last mistake.” I said my voice losing the laughter and adding the serious edge.

“You do love him don’t you?”

“With everything I am.”
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