My Sanity in This Insane World

I found Molly at her desk, something that rarely happens when you're around her. Molly loved to move around. Moving houses, moving guys, moving animals even, and even her change of style was always on the move.

This month was neon, and I felt so bad for her cubical buddy Dale.

"Hey, stranger," she said, biting into an apple. "How are you?" I looked down at her neon blue tights. They were giving me a headache. I actually couldn't wait until these clothes would change.

"I'm pretty good. Been with my sister a lot."

"Knocked up?" I laughed.

"In not so many words, yes." She crinkled her nose at me.

"Lenny, you gotta call 'em like you see 'em."

I rolled my eyes. "How are you today?"

"Dumped Martin last night." She shrugged as I tried to remember who Martin was. Was he the video gamer who lived with his mom, or the painter who painted pictures of parrots.

Yeah, she dated those guys.

"So...?" I asked, walking over and sitting on her desk.

"So doing about as good I can right now. Martin was good. He was just so weird, with all his paintings and stuff." Parrot boy. "I don't know... What about you and," she cringed, "Samuel?"

I grunted. "Eh."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Basically, he stood me up and I had to wait with Oliver, then we went out for a breakfast cheer up, and Oliver saw him with another chick."

"Douche bag," Molly mumbled, crossing her arms.

"But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about." She raised an eyebrow. "What would you think of if I took a couple weeks off and toured with Oliver?"

She smiled, before jumping up and giving me a huge hug. "I think it would be an awesome idea. But wait." She pulled away. "What about his friends?"

"I guess we just need to get things figured out," I said with a shrug. She smiled.

"So how long are we talking about not seeing each other?"

"Two weeks tops. Who knows how long I'll be able to handle the weirdos." She laughed.

"When?"

"In like a week." She grimaced.

"And Sam?"

I opened my eyes widely. I hadn't even thought of Sam. Technically, we were still dating. I needed to talk to him.

"That still needs to be handled..."

"And soon, Lennox."

&&

I'd sent Sam a text saying to meet me at the park; I needed to talk to him. I got a reply that just said the letter K, and nothing else. I think we both knew this was coming towards an end for us. I was fully okay with this too. I didn't need him, he was just company.

I sat down on the swings, swaying back and forth, fiddling with my phone, before I heard the swing next to me jingle. I didn't look up, it was probably him just by the looks of his shoes.

He breathed heavily, before his voice cracked out, "What did you want, Lennox?" Had he been crying?

I looked up at him, and sure enough, his eyes were red and puffy. Did I make him cry? Sam did not see like the one to cry of nothing.

I fiddled with my phone, turning it in a circle between my thumb and index finger.

"I'm just going to come out and say it; I saw you the other day with that lady, the morning after you stood me up. I was hurt Sam. Really bad. I thought I couldn't get over it, but I wanted to, for the sake of us. However, I don't think I can." I looked down at the grown, my worn boots dirty from these past few days.

He was quiet. "So it's over?"

I was mad, but I didn't show it to him. Why the fuck would he even need to question it?

I got up off the swings, stretching, before I mumbled, "Yes. Yes we are," and I walked off, going home.

I was proud of myself. The type of proud that a puppy would when they learned a new trick. I held my head high. I was done with him, it was time to find a new, better guy. One who will actually love me.

My apartment smelled of boys. I knew it the moment I walked in. I walked to the living room doorway, and starred at them. Sure enough, there was six boys in my sofa. I clicked my tongue, dropping my bag to the side of me. Tom looked back at me, his blue eyes shining bright.

"Hey, Len!" he squeaked.

"Hi? What's going on here?" I felt uncomfortable. I didn't exactly know any of these fellows. I knew them a bit, but they all hated me. I was Ben Dray's annoying little sister. I wasn't anyone per-say in the cool crowd, not like any of these dweebs were though.

"Hope you don't mind, but they wanted to come over," Oliver said, squeezing in through the door next to me.

I sighed. "Not at all, I guess." I looked up at all the tall backs, tattoos adoring their arms and necks. I scratched my forehead. "I have news though. I'll tell you later, aye?" I picked the bag back up, and slipped it over my shoulders. I raised my eyebrows at Oliver. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Make your rice and vegetable thing. They actually want to try it." I bit my lip, before shrugging and mumbling an, "Okay."

I walked back to my room, checking my phone. I had already received two phone calls from Sam, and a message from Molly, asking how things went. I didn't reply to either of them. I just wanted this day to be done with.

I pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail, and walked back out, starting the vegetables.

"So, you're the little twerp that used to bug Ben and me?" I didn't even have to look back to see that it was Matt. "You've grown."

"I'm no longer fourteen, people tend to age," I mumbled, cutting some peppers.

"Eh, never would have thought that that would turn into this." I clicked my tongue for about the billionth time today.

"Well, like I said, people change, things leave, and life doesn't stop. I'll continue to change."

Matt was quiet for a minute, before coming next to me, and leaning over me. "Get this straight, Oliver loves you. Always has. Stop toying with him."

"I'm not toying with him."

"Yeah you are." I looked at him, baffled. "You bring guys in and out of your life, yet you go to sleep with him every night. He cares about you, Lennox. Too much for any of our liking." He sighed, looking away from me, out the door. "Why do you never give him a chance? He doesn't seem like he would be that bad of a boyfriend." I stayed quiet. "Why wont you at least give him a chance?"

"I don't know," I whispered. I stirred the rice around, mixing it a bit before putting the vegetables in.

"Fuck, do you ever talk?"

I slapped my hand down, looking at him. "What do you want me to day, Matt? I'll go fuck Oliver right now? As if that would make everything better. Oliver loves me, but he doesn't love me. No matter how hard I try to convince myself other whys, I know the truth. I'm not his type of girl."

Matt was silent, before saying, "You really do not know him," and then he walked out, going back to the living room.

And people wondered why I was indecisive to go on tour.

&&

"So what was this thing you wanted to tell me when you got here?" Oliver asked, as he helped me with washing the dishes.

"Oh, I was going to tell you a couple things." He looked over at me, raising an eyebrow. "One, broke things off with Sam."

His eyes lit up. "No more Sammy?" I nodded. "No more Sammy!" he yelled, stopping what he was doing, and began to do a little dance in the kitchen.

"And, and, and." He stopped, looking at me. "I've decided to go on tour with you a bit." He looked at me for a bit, before making a dead blot to me, and hugging me tightly, saying - well, more like scream - how excited he was. I laughed, hugging him back.

He rested his forehead on mine, staring directly into my eyes. I stared back, taking in his soft eyes. My eyes flickered to his lips, a small smirk on them, as I twirled the ends of his hair on the back of his head.

I could tell it was going to happen, it was just one of those moments. One that neither of us could not just stop. He pressed his lips softly onto mine, better then any dream I could ever think of. And before it had even to really begin, he jumped back.

"I - I'm sorry, uh, Nox. That wont happen again," he said, scratching the back of his head.

"No problem," I mumbled, doing the exact same thing as him.

We were quiet for a bit, before he stuffed his hands in his pocket, and said, "Hey, why don't we pretend that this never happen? Go back to be like how we used to." He gave me a small smile.

I felt a pang in my stomach, before giving the best smile I could muster up and say, "Oh yeah, we can do that." He returned the smile to me, before saying we should get back to washing.

I told everyone the truth. I'm not Oliver's type. Never have been, never will be. Simple as that.