I'd Give My All

I woke up to Brian standing over me, looking at me disappointingly. I groaned, the light from the windows was killing my head. He nudged me, trying to wake me up without hurting me.

“Why are you here?” I asked, covering my face. “What time is it?”

“I'm here to wake your ass up, because it's eleven o'clock and you have a lunch date with Nikki in thirty minutes.”

In all honesty, I had forgotten about that. It's been a week since their announcement about the wedding and today we were suppose to plan out the wedding. I felt like they were rushing into this, if you ask me.

“Come on,” he muttered, wrapping my arm around his neck as he lifted me up. He put his arm around my waist and walked me into the bathroom. I had been drunk for two days now and I couldn't show up to lunch like this. He started to take my clothes off and started the shower for me. I wasn't embarrassed around Brian, so I didn't feel uncomfortable in this position. Once I had done showering, I dragged my feet to my bedroom to see an outfit already laid out for me on the bed.

“What would I do without you?” I asked, already starting to get dressed.

“It seems like you wouldn't be able to function.”

I rolled my eyes, and flipped him off. I sometimes wondered why I wasn't attracted to him. I could see that he was an extremely handsome guy, and genuinely sweet because he took care of me, but there was something missing. I finished getting dressed and I kissed Brian's cheek in thanks before rushing out of the door.

I got to the restaurant and saw that Nikki and a couple of our other friends were sitting together outside on the patio. I sighed, getting out of my car and locking it as I walked towards the table. I smiled at everyone as I sat down and fell into the conversation they were having.

“I'm so excited for you, girl.” Gena all but shouted. “I can't wait until Zacky asks me.”

“You'll get your turn.” Nikki turned to me, placing her hand on top of mine that was sitting on the table top. “We're going to go pick out the bride's maid's dresses today.”

“Isn't that a little early?” I asked, “I mean, he asked you like a week ago.”

“We decided to get married before he goes back on tour next month.”

I felt my eyes widen and I gaped at her. “You're trying to get married in a month?!”

“Yeah, I don't want anything too big or flashy. Just my family and his.”

I shook my head to get rid of the trance I was about to fall in and faked a smile. So much for putting the thought of this off.

After lunch, which I hardly ate any of my salad, we walked down the street to the dress store. The other girls got their dress and tried it on in the dressing room, and I had gotten a different one to wear since I was the maid of honor. They handed Nikki her gown and we walked in behind the others and tried them on.

We all came out at the same time. I looked at her, and she looked back at me with tears in her eyes. I wish she wouldn't cry, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from crying if she did. “Don't cry,”

My voice cracked and that's when the tears fell from her eyes. “I can't believe this is actually happening!”

“Me either,” I mumbled, wiping my eyes. I walked back into my dressing room and changed as quickly as I could. I thought of different excuses to leave, and once we were all finished, I didn't even have to say anything.

“Matt texted me and told me to come home so we can go out with our parents tonight for dinner.” We all hugged and set up another date when I would go with her to see about the cakes and food while Matt was in the studio working on the finishing touches.

Walking to my car and driving home seemed to be a blur. I walked into my house after parking the car and sighed. I thought about getting drunk again, but I knew I shouldn't fall in that deep.

I spent all day on my back porch, looking out into the ocean. I had ignored my phone all day, and it was now started to get towards night as I watched the sun set behind the horizon.

I heard footsteps through my house coming up behind me and figured it was just Brian worrying about me again. I brought my sweet tea to my lips and took a sip, waiting for the lecture he was going to give me to begin.

“Why aren't you answering your phone?” a deep voice that was not Brian's startled me. “You know how worried everyone is about you?”

“Sorry, dad.” I muttered sarcastically.

“We haven't talked in a while," I watched as he pulled up a chair next to mine and sat down, staring at me as I looked back to the ocean. "how are you?”

“I'm okay.” he sighed.

“Are you mad at me for not telling you about the proposal?”

“Not mad, just a little hurt.” I put my tea down and faced him. “I thought we were best friends, Matt.”

“We are! I'm a little hurt to you know,” he frowned, taking off his aviators so that I could see his gorgeous hazel eyes. “since apparently you and Brian are together now and you didn't tell me.”

“There is nothing going on Brian and I. We're just friends.”

“Right, so what were you guys doing in the bathroom together?”

I was in deep shit now. There has never been a time that I could lie to Matt's face without him seeing right through me. Every time I had planned a surprise party for him, I had to avoid him just so I wouldn't spill the beans. I sighed, bringing my knees up and hide my face in them while I muttered something stupid.

“I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said.”

When I looked up at him, he was confused. I wiped my cheek to see that I had started crying and didn't even know it. He scooted his chair a little closer to me.

“I said, I was in there crying and he talked to me.”

“Crying? About what?” the concern in his voice was enough to break my heart.

“Because I love you.” I had shocked us both. “I love you Matt, I have loved you for a while now. I felt so bad, because you and Nikki are my best friends and I didn't want to hurt either of you.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, standing from his chair and pacing a bit. He kept saying 'fuck' over and over again, and I looked at him worriedly. This was not the reaction I was hoping for.

“I wish you would of told me this sooner,” he turned to look at me. “but I love Nikki now. We're getting married before I go on tour next month and I'll be back just in time for Nikki to give birth.”

“Excuse me?”

He came and sat back down in front of me, holding my hand and smiling sympathetically at me.

“Nikki's pregnant.”

“Oh fuck. Why am I finding out about this now?”

“We were going to tell everyone at the reception.” he looked at me, squeezing my hand a little. “I'm sorry everything had to turn out this way. I love you, Katie. You're my best friend and like a sister to me. Everything will work out in the end.”

I couldn't help but smile a little as more tears fell off my face. I shouldn't of told him how I felt, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I was hoping he was right, that everything will work out, but I couldn't see how. And that hurt even more that him rejecting me.