I'd Give My All

“What are you doing here?” I mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes as I opened the door a little wider for Matt to storm past me into the living room. I was trying to focus on what was going on, but my lack of sleep was not helping me at all.

“Me and Nikki got into it,” He said in between paces. “like, really bad.”

I sat down on the couch, and patted the seat next to me. He was making me dizzy with his back and forth movements. “Like, how bad?”

“We broke up.”

My eyes widened, and I was suddenly wide awake. Matt and Nikki had just moved into their our house together a few months ago. I couldn't believe that they had broken up.

“What happened?”

“Honestly?” He turned to look at me, I could see the sadness in his eyes. Whatever had happened between them must have been really bad for him to be so torn up about it. “I don't remember. I just know that it had been over something stupid, something small, and then the next thing I knew she's throwing shit at my head and I'm on my way over to you.”

I sighed, knowing this was my chance to have Matt to myself, to talk him out of going back to her and making up. I knew that would make me a horrible friend, though. I started to rub his shoulder, helping him to calm down enough to have a decent conversation about what happened tonight and what we all knew what was going to happen. I then started to trace the tattoos on his bicep, knowing that he liked that and I always use to do it when we'd sit on the couch and watch TV.

He had finally relaxed into the couch, and I noticed there were bags under his eyes. I wondered if it was from being tired, or the stress. It was probably both.

“You're not going to let something like this come between you guys, are you?” I gabbed his hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. “I mean, you just moved in together, so things are going to get a little tense. You can't even remember what you just broke up over.”

“I don't think I can do it. Maybe we're moving too fast.”

“Alright, just hush.” I crossed my legs and turned to face him a little more so I could look him in the eye. “You and Nikki have been together for two years now. You love her, she loves you. There is no doubt about that. Remember when we moved into the apartment together, right before Avenged Sevenfold made it big?”

He smiled at the thought. A week into moving in, we were at each others throats about everything, when we hardly ever argued about anything before. Finally, everything went back to normal, we just had to get use to each other being around 24/7.

“Just give it some time.” I patted his leg, looking on the clock to see that it was after four in the morning. “You can crash in the spare room. In the morning, go back to Nikki and apologize, maybe give her some flowers while you're at it.”

He hugged me before I could stand up to go back to my room and sleep.

“Katie, you're the best.” He muttered into my hair. “This is why you're my best friend.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I hugged him back, laughing as he pulled away and had a dopey look on his face. “goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight, Katie.”

I could hear Jimmy banging on my front door, yelling at me to open it, but I couldn't care less. I was still in bed, and it was way after three in the afternoon. My eyes were sore and swollen, as Matt continued to swim around in my head, making my life more miserable by the second. I pulled the blanket up over my head, and sniffed, hearing loud footsteps make their way to my bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Jimmy asked, seeing me at my worst.

“I'm wallowing in my self pity!” I shouted, shutting my eyes, only to squeeze more tears out. “What's it look like?”

“Brian sent me to make sure you were still alive. You know everyone is blowing up your phone? Why aren't you answering it?” He walked closer. “Why are you crying?”

“Because my life is over.” I sighed dramatically. “I don't want to live anymore.”

“Come on, babe,” He pulled back the covers and picked me up from the bed. He carried me into the bathroom and sat me on the toilet. He walked over and turned on the shower before turning back to me. “Get showered, and get ready. You only have an hour to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.”

“I love Matt, Jim.” I whispered, sniffing again. “He doesn't love me the way I love him.”

Jimmy looked down at me with his blue eyes full of sympathy. “Oh honey,” He ran his fingers through my hair as I hugged his waist. I couldn't believe how weak I had grown over the last couple of months.

Eventually Jimmy calmed me down enough so that I could shower and get ready. Jimmy stayed to make sure I wouldn't back out in the last minute, and it seemed like in no time, we were parked in the parking lot of the restaurant where everyone was waiting on us.

I made sure my make up was still in tact in the pull down mirror and sighed when Jimmy got out and waited for me in front of his car. I met him and walked in behind him. I knew everyone could tell that there was something wrong with me by the look of concern on their faces, but I smiled in reassurance anyways, taking my seat next to Brian.

“What did I miss?” I leaned in to whisper to him.

“Nikki just announced her pregnancy.”

“Oh, okay. Good thing I'm late then.”

“You already knew?” His eyes widened in disbelief. “How?”

“Matt told me a few weeks ago.”

I leaned away from him when my waiter came, and I placed my order. The dinner went well, talk about the wedding and how excited everyone is about the baby. I found myself smiling despite myself. When everyone was finished, we rode up to the church the wedding was taking place to rehearse the wedding. How everyone will stand, where the guest will sit, what lines to say. I was spacing out for most of it, but I had gotten through it without having to excuse myself to the bathroom to cry.