Passenger Seat

“For My Johnny Ohh?” I said as I picked up a CD from Johns glove compartment.

He looked over at me and gave a small laugh. “Yeah, I have tons of mix Cd's from my ex's. They think since I'm in a band they need to give me a CD and show me they have good music taste.”

“And do they?” I simply asked.

“Do they have good music tastes? Oh hell no. They put that pop radio shit on there. But every once in a while I'll get a girl with good music taste.” he looked over at me and gave me a smile.

I slipped the CD into the player and skipped through the songs waiting for a good one to come on. I left the player alone when Avril Lavigne Girlfriend came on. I couldn't help but to laugh and sing out loud. I felt ashamed that I knew all the words and danced in my seat. I turned my head and got in Johns face in a playful way and sang the words loudly.

“Come on John, you know you know the words.”

“I'm not singing along with you. Especially to this song.” I shook my head but kept on sing.

“She’s like so whatever, you could do so much better, I think we should get together now” I sang loudly. I kept singing very loud and staring at John. The song finished, and I leaned forward to turn down the music a tad.

“Your no fun John.”

“Just because I don't want to sing to that shitty music?” I nodded my head up and down

“Yes.”

“And whose the one that's on this road trip with you? Oh right ME!”

“Whatever, you're still a party pooper.” I said as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“What can I do to change your mind?” he said.

“That's' not up to me.” He nodded his head and left the subject alone. I looked over at him from the corner of my eye and I could tell that he was thinking about what to do.

~

“Blake...Hey B, wake up.” I opened my eyes to see John turned towards me and nudging me. I sat up and stretched out my arms and gave him a small smile.

“Hey sleepyhead.” he said.

“Hey, where are we?” I asked in a light voice.

“Just come with me okay.” He opened his door and rushed over to mine and grabbed my hand. We were parked in the woods. I looked around and all I could see were trees, a huge pond that was in front of us, and an area with a bunch of campers and R.V's.

“Where are we?” I asked again.

“Some national park called Fishlake or something like that. But no talking.”

“Why?” He looked down at me and gave me a glare.

“Okay okay no talking.”

We kept on walking, hand in hand again. I liked the feeling of his hands, they were rough and they were ten times bigger than my small hands, but our hands fit perfectly together. What was I thinking? I can't do this to myself, or Kennedy. But what was I doing, I was just simply examining Johns hand, I've held Garrett’s hand before in public before, and it was just a friendly gesture.

The pond in front of us, got even bigger as we got closer. The view was amazing, trees were surrounding the pond, it was about 4:30 so the sun was still high in the sky. We stopped by a tree that fell over, we took a seat and just took in the scenario.

Being under all the trees, with not that much sunlight, with a little breeze I started to get cold. I crossed my arms and started to rub them together.

“Why are you always cold?” John said with a small laugh.

“Why are you never?” I said quickly back to him.

He shrugged his shoulders and scooted closer to me and put his arm around me. “I'll keep you nice and warm.” He said in a sexy raspy voice.

I put my arms around him and leaned my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and took everything in that was going on around us. I took a deep breath, filling my nostrils with his scent. I wanted to always have his scent around me, it made me feel something, it kind of gave me memories of my childhood that I missed so much. I started to smile from those memories. And those memories lead to me thinking about Kennedy. I frowned at first because I'm just so frustrated at everything that has happened between us, but then again its Kennedy, it was hard to explain but saying that he was my rock.

I let go of John realizing that I've gone to far with our relationship. All I wanted was a new friend, I didn't come out here looking for a new boyfriend. I scooted away and looked down at the ground trying to avoid Johns eyes.

“Um I'm sorry.” He said but it came out more like a question.

I slowly looked up at him and gave him a weak smile and nodded my head. “I'm going to go to the car and um yeah.”

“Oh okay. I'll be here.” I got up, and started to walk away. I didn't want to walk away. I knew that things might be awkward between me and John now and that was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to keep sitting next to John and just feel the comfortableness.

But I didn't turn around, I kept on walking. I didn't even want to be alone right now, I wanted to be with John. I got to the car and looked for my phone in my bag. I had 4 new messages; 2 missed calls from Kennedy, another missed call from my dad, and a text message from none other than Kennedy. I was forced between Kennedy and my Father. I picked Kennedy.

I clicked onto the first voice mail that he left me.

“Hey B.” he let out a small sigh. “I'm sorry about last night and what I said. I know you won't do anything with John because I know you'd never hurt me. I trust you. And if you need time away then I'll give you that. Just please call me so I can tell you how much I love you.” After that he hung up and I felt relief that he trusted me. But it got me so angry that he once again thought of me as 'the perfect girlfriend.' Kennedy always said how perfect I am, how I don't break rules, how he knows he can trust me and I wont hurt him. It got annoying.

I didn't want to hear his other message but I still did. I clicked over it and heard him began to speak. “Hey again. Your worrying me. Why aren't you picking up your phone? I still don't understand why you picked John over me or Pat or Garrett. Please call me back, I'm just worried. K bye.” I let out a sigh, typical Kennedy to change his mind and get upset. It seems like that's all he does now.

I didn't feel like listening to my dads voice mail so I thought I'd be call Kennedy back, make it short and sweet and just get it over with.

I sat in the car with my head in my hands as I waited for him to pick up. But he never did so I had to leave a voice mail. I waited for the beep and hearing his voice it made leaving this message. I didn't even know what I was going to say.

beep

“Hey Ken, I-I um I got your messages and I knew if I didn't call or text back you'd freak out. So I'm just calling so you know I'm okay. There's not much for me to say to be honest. Why did I go to John? I don't know, I just know that I'm glad I did. I'm having fun, which I haven't had in a while. I've been so stressed lately and I just needed this. So please don't call or text me, I want to be stress free and I don't need you blowing up my phone.” I let out a sigh. “Just know that I'm fine and if I need you-”
beep

I didn't even get to finish the message but I think he got what I was trying to say. I hope he didn't freak out and think he needed to call me back, which he probably will even though I said not to.

I looked back at my phone and decided not to listen to my dads message, I didn't want any more drama.

I opened my door and hear a loud thud. I widened my eyes when I saw that I hit John with my door.

“Oh my gosh John. Are you okay? I'm so so sorry.” I got out of the car and went to his side. “Oh my gosh your already getting a bump.” I said as I put my hands to my mouth and covering it.

“Ow.” was all he said.

I started to laugh after he said that. It just seemed so funny.

He looked up at me, with his hand covering his head. “What are you laughing at?”

I couldn't form any words, my laughs were coming out and I couldn't help it. I wrapped my arms around my stomach as it started to hurt.

“Stop! It wasn't that funny. It hurt.” I finally stopped the laughing, I wiped away the tears that were forming in my eyes.

“I'm sorry, it wasn't funny. Here.” I stuck out my hand for him to grab. He accepted and I helped him up.

“But really are you okay?” I said as took his hand away from his head.

“Yeah I think I'll be okay. I'm a tough man.” he said but then winced when I softly slide my hand over the bump. I quickly took my hand away and said a soft sorry.

I looked into his eye, looking between his green specks. I realized how close we were. I felt his breath hitting my skin. He gave me a small smile which I returned. He lifted his hand up and swiped a piece of my hair behind my ear. He left his hand on my shoulder and brought his other hand up to my other shoulder.

“I don't think I'm allowed to say this, especially while were like this.” he said quietly. I nodded my head telling him to keep going.

“But you look very beautiful right now.” I couldn't help but to smile and have a small blush creep up. I turned my head so he wouldn't see my flushed face. But he then brought both his hands to my face and cupped my cheeks and pulled my face so he was staring deeply into my eyes. There was something about this position that made my stomach explode with butterflies. I didn't know what to do, we just stood there looking into each others eyes. Then all of a sudden I had to ask something.

“Can I ask you something?” I said not breaking our staring. He nodded his head and a smile appeared on his face.

“Whats something you regret?” he smile kind of faded but as he talked it came back to him.

“That's tough because I try not to regret anything, I just go with life. I think of my mistake as learning points. No one should take life so seriously. But I sometimes regret how I'm always on the road and I'm not there for my brothers enough. The band is so busy lately and it's hard to take time and talk to them.” We pulled back from each other just a little so we could fully see each other. “You?” he simply asked.

“It'll probably be this.” I simply said, and his smile faded and he had a confused expression on his face. But when I leaned up to press my lips against his he reacted quickly. He brought his hands back up to my cheeks and cupped them, making the kiss much deeper and heated. He swiped his tongue on my lower lip and I gave him access to let him in. As he entered into my mouth both our tongues fought for dominance.

We broke away and kept our foreheads together. Both of us out breath, we looked back at each others eyes and just smile.

I knew I'd regret this in the morning but for now, that was exactly what I wanted or maybe it's what I needed.