Carpe Diem

“It is you!” Garrett exclaimed happily.

I sighed, “I guess you’re the new band, then?”

He nodded in confirmation, “This isn’t exactly a warm welcome, Tay.” He smirked before running a hand through his brown hair.

I smiled sheepishly before pulling him into a one-armed hug as I was still holding onto Kade. I’d always loved Garrett, he was definitely the one I was the closest to out of the band. Not that I didn’t love Jared, Kennedy and Pat, it was just that Garrett had always been there for me.

His eyes widened as they locked onto Kade who was now awake.

“Kade, you remember Garrett, right?” I smiled as Kade nodded his head.

“Garrett!” Kade screamed in delight, outstretching his arms for Garrett to take him, which he did.

“Holy shit,” Garrett said in disbelief as his glance moved from Kade to me, “He’s truly turned into a spitting image of John.”

I just nodded in response.

“It’s truly so good to see you, Taylor.” Garrett said before hugging Kade closer to him.

“It’s so good to see you too Gare,” I smiled, “I just wish I could say that about all of you.”

Garrett shot me a sympathetic smile, but didn’t say a word. In a sense, I was glad The Maine were the new band on the tour as it meant I got to spend time with Garrett, Pat, Jared and Kennedy. Garrett had visited Kade and I once the year before when they had a show in Lima, but he kept it quiet from John. Plus he kept contact as much as he could too. It was nice to know that he truly did care about my well being, especially Kade’s, even if he wasn’t the one who should.

“Why don’t you come and say hey to the guys? J-”

“You’re kidding? I-”

“I see you’re still as stubborn as ever,” He laughed, “If you’d just let me finish, John’s not here, he’s gone to see Nick.”

I swear my heart sank ever so slightly.

“Santino?”

“Taylor!” I heard a voice holler from behind me. Garrett didn’t have time to answer, and he didn’t have to, as I was just about to find out for myself.

I spun around as Nick made his way over to me, a grin playing across his face, and at his side was the one person I hoped to never encounter in my life ever again. John O’ Callaghan. I took a deep breath before smiling at Nick, my eyes completely averted from John. Then Nick went and done the one thing I hoped he wouldn’t, not that he knew anything about it at the time, but it’s the one thing I would have loved to avoid.

“John, this is Taylor.” Nick smiled before saying, “Taylor, this is John.”

“Uh..” Garrett piped up, I shot him a quick glance as he shot a panicked look back at me.

I locked eyes with John for a moment, not one of us saying anything as he studied me closely, I assume it because he had a suspicion that we‘d met before. A sudden look of realisation appeared on his face as he glanced between Kade and I, more specifically at Kade as his eyes widened, then back again.

“I’m just going to vacate onto the bus.” Garrett announced, taking Kade with him.

I glared in Garrett’s direction even though I’m pretty sure he didn’t see it. If looks could kill he would’ve been dead for leaving me in the situation that he did.

“Look-” John began.

I shook my head then mumbled a quick, “I have to go.” before making my way past John and Nick
and hurriedly in the direction of the Hit The Light’s bus.

As I neared the bus I felt a hand clasp around my wrist tightly as I was turned around to be met with John’s cold stare.

“Can’t you just hear me out for one fucking minute?”

“Why should I?” I spat, “I have nothing to say to you and have no intention of listening to what you have to say either, now let me go!”

“Not until you’ve listened to me.” He replied, his grip tightening.

“Fuck you, John! Maybe I would have listened to what you had to say if you hadn’t been a complete prick and cut off all contact with me when you found out I was pregnant, or better yet, made an effort where our son’s concerned!”

“His what?” Another voice piped up. A voice who belonged to one of the last people I wanted to know about it.

My eyes widened as moved slightly to the side of John to see Nick not stood too far away from the two of us, a furious expression on his face.

“Nick-” I started but he cut me off.

“Kade is John’s son?!” He exclaimed in disbelief looking between the two of us.

Neither John or I said word as Nick took it as some sort of confirmation.

“Were you ever planning on telling me?!” He yelled.

“I didn’t expect him to just turn up here, Nick! No, I probably wouldn’t have, for the sheer fact he’s never acted like a father and Kade doesn’t know any different.” I yelled back.

“This is just,” Nick began before running a hand through his hair, “this is just fucked up.” He said before storming away from the two of us.

“Nick!” I called after him, but it was no use.

I ripped my wrist out of John’s grasp, “See what you’ve done?! stay the fuck away from me!” I screamed as I shoved him in the chest before running to Hit The Light’s bus and sitting on the top step. I breathed out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding is as I felt my eyes begin to well up. I knew Kade would be fine with Garrett for a while as I needed time to compose myself and think, not that Garrett would let me have Kade back for a while as he’d not seen him in so long, anyway.

“Taylor?” Hayden questioned worriedly as she suddenly appeared behind me.

“I’m going for a walk.” I announced quickly in order to avoid a confrontation with my best friend before I made my way off the bus once more, thankful when I realised John wasn’t in the same place that he was mere minutes before.

I made my way around the back of the buses, wanting to get as far away from everything as possible. I ran a hand through my hair as I sniffed, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay, but it proved to be no use. I noticed Adam sat outside their bus with my acoustic before trying to make my way hurriedly past him without him realising I was there, but that also proved to be of no use.

“Taylor?” Adam questioned as he made his way over to me, “What’s wrong?”

A sob escaped my lips as I placed my hands over my face, the tears beginning to escape freely. Adam pulled me into his arms as I wrapped my arms around him without thinking before beginning to sob into his chest uncontrollably. It was strange to say the least, Adam hugging me as I cried about things that I wished weren’t happening, it’s something I can say I’d never expect to have happened, ever.
I’d say it took me about twenty minutes until I was able to control my sobs and breathe normally. I pulled away from Adam’s chest, shooting him a sheepish grin as I glanced at his now wet shirt, then at him.

“Sorry about that.” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair.

He shrugged before hugging me once more.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Adam questioned.

I bit my lip as I contemplated whether to tell him or not. I took a deep breath as I’d come to a decision after what seemed like a life time of fighting with myself when in reality it was only a few minutes.

“Kade is John’s son.” I confessed.

“John? As in John O’ Callaghan?” He questioned.

“The one and only, unfortunately.”

“I knew he reminded me of someone,” Adam said more to himself than to me, “When fuck the did that happen?”

“Lets just say the Hit The Lights boys are known for throwing wild parties back in Ohio, one particularly wild one four years ago.”

He nodded in response before placing his hands on my shoulders.

“What else is there you’re not mentioning?”

“Nick overheard me screaming at John about him not making an effort to see Kade, and he went off on one before storming off.” I said sadly.

“You and I both know for a fact that shit happens, but it’ll sort itself out, you’ll see.” He reassured.

“I half expected you to say something about me deserving it then,” I laughed, “Why didn’t you?” I questioned, looking up at him intently.

“I don’t know, maybe I just realised something.”

“Which is?” I pushed.

He smirked slightly before leaning down and pressing his lips against mine, then pulling away as quick as it happened.

“Take what you want from that.” He shrugged before walking away.

“What the fuck, Adam?! Thanks for the help!” I screamed at his retreating figure, “Fuck you!”

I began to swear under my breath as I started to pace back and forth as he disappeared from view, letting out a scream before making my way back to the Hit The Light’s bus. I couldn’t take it, everything kept spiralling out of control and I kept being hit with waves of emotions I didn’t want to feel, I felt like I was going to be sick. In my eyes that kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.
I walked up the stairs quickly, putting a smile on my face as I greeted Colin, Omar, Nick, Nate and David before making my way past them and up the spiral staircase, taking the steps two at a time before walking over to my bunk, tearing open the curtain and collapsing into it as my face made contact with my pillow.

“Taylor Alexis Rubano you better tell me what’s wrong right now!” Hayden exclaimed as I assumed she walked over from her bunk before climbing in mine and pulling the curtain shut roughly.

“Everything is fucked.” I wailed as I sat up momentarily, flailing my arms about, not caring if I ended up hitting her in the process.

“What do you mean?” She questioned as I repeated my previous statement once more before collapsing face first into my pillow once more, shedding a few tears in the process.

One thing was for sure, I had a lot of things to figure out, and trust me when I say I knew that it wasn’t going to be easy, as you’ll see for yourself soon enough.