Second Chance

Gena’s POV

A knock was heard while we were waiting for Jimmy & Johnny to finish getting ready. What was taking them so long, I have no idea. They are just escorting us to the airport. Today is the day we, the girls, head back to Cali. I sure have a lot to do there. I wish I could stay with Zacky for the whole time they’re gonna be working on their new album, but I know I can’t. I’m comforted by the idea that he’s gonna visit as much as he can. I’ll try to do the same. But I’m no rock star, so I do have a schedule to fulfill. I can’t just leave whenever I please.

I hear the knock gain & sigh, before getting up to open the door. I don’t bother looking through the peephole, not thinking for a second that it could be a crazy, obsessed fan, trying to get it on with the guys. I think we’ve had our share of those lately. I open to find none other than Annabelle standing there. She looks up from the ground to me before giving a small sweet smile. “Hey” I say, hugging her. She hugs me back. I think this is the first sincere, pure, hug she has given me in a long time. At least that’s what it feels like. “What are you doing here?” I ask her, letting her go & moving aside so she can walk into the insanely big suite. She removes her sunglasses, adjusting her purse on her shoulder.

“I remembered you guys were leaving today so I thought I should stop by & say goodbye” She says. I look at her to see the sophisticated woman she has become. Her jet black hair is now long & wavy, giving her this pop star feel. She still looks amazing though.

“You can always come to visit us, you know” I say, letting her know that I truly miss her. Because I do. She’s the one I was the closest to. She was the one I could always talk to, go shopping with. She was always there for me. & when she left, I felt I lost my best girlfriend. & I never got the chance to say it to her. It’s not that I’m not close to the other girls. Because I am. But it was different with her. She’s so mature despite her age. & her not being involve romantically with any of the guys, it’s just fresh. The girls & I, sometimes get so caught up with our boys, that everything revolves around them. But with Annabelle is different. & I love that.

“Yeah, I know” She says, shifting uncomfortably. I have no idea why she never went back to Huntington. After the wedding incident, which I’m pretty sure she has something to do with & know everything that happened, she walked out & never looked back.

“What happened that day?” I think out loud, snapping my eyes to meet her as the words leave my mouth. She furrows her brows, not knowing what the hell I’m talking about. “That day” I say & I see her gaze change, filling with guilt & shame… but why? Why would she feel guilty? & I plan on finding out right now. “What made you never go back?” I finish & I see her swallow hard. She opens her mouth but we’re interrupted by Lacey walking in.

“Anna?” She asks in disbelief. “Wow. I never thought I would see you here. Almost thought you didn’t want to hang out with us anymore” She says. Always blunt. That’s why I love her. Annabelle chuckles. We barely saw her at that party. She was attached to the hip to John. She didn’t left his side all night, almost like she was avoiding us. Brian, particularly. But why? I thought they were in great terms. What did I miss?

“Of course I want to hang out with you. I’m just pretty busy these days. Sorry” She says, biting the corner of her bottom lip, letting me know she’s lying. But I keep my mouth shut. I don’t want to scare her away.

“That never used to stop you before” Lacey says, almost hurt. Can you blame her? We’re all hurt. Annabelle left without a goodbye. Not a single fucking goodbye to anyone. & it pisses me off. She just left. She just left us. “I guess things change, huh?” Lacey says, letting out a small chuckle. “But you’re here now. That’s all that matters” She says, walking to Annabelle & hugging her, breaking the uncomfortable air that was brewing. “EVERYBODY, ANNABELLE IS HERE” She screams, making Anna cringe from her screams in her ear. Everyone rushes to the foyer, hugging her, except for 2 persons… Jimmy & Brian. & I can’t help but wonder… why? But I will find out.

Annabelle’s POV

I start talking with everyone when I notice Jimmy & Brian keeping their distance from me… like I’m a fucking disease. Almost like I disgust them. The second my eyes locked with Brian’s, he shakes his head, in what appears to be disappointment, & turns, walking towards wherever that room was behind him. I start walking towards him, when Jimmy stops me, stepping in front of me, blocking my way. I look up at him, & his blue eyes are really stern. Almost like he’s scolding me for something I haven’t done. “Leave him, Anna” He says. Those are the first words that I’ve heard him say to me in 3 years. No ‘hello’, no ‘How have you been?’, no ‘I’ve missed you’.

“I need to talk to him” I say to him, not removing my gaze from his.

“About what?” He asks. I roll my eyes.

“Last time I checked, you weren’t his fucking baby sitter, Jim” I say. I see his jaw tighten.

“Is everything ok here?” Leana asks, approaching us with baby Wren on her arms. I smile & nod, returning my glare towards Jimmy. “Here, take her. I need to pee” Leana says, handing the baby to Jimmy, winking at me before passing between Jimmy & I. I smirk, catching her drill & take this opportunity to go after Brian. I walk through a relatively large living room & start searching through the numerous bedrooms. On my third one to look at, I see him staring through the large window, his hands in his pockets. I walk to him, after taking a big breath, dropping my purse on the unmade bed. I can’t help but think of all the things him & Michelle must’ve done there while spending their nights here. & I feel a pang of jealousy run through my body before I quickly shook it out & pretend it never happened. Because I don’t have those kinds of feeling towards Brian anymore.

I stop right by his side & stare out the window too. I’ve had my apology speech down to the T, but I can’t remember shit. I start fidgeting with the corner of my shirt, thinking of a way to break the awkwardness. After a couple of minutes of silence, he lets out a sigh & turns, ready to walk out. & I start panicking again. Why do I always panic whenever he starts walking away from me?

“I’m sorry” I blurt out, sounding a bit needier than what it was. He stops, but doesn’t turn around. So I continue. “I’m sorry I’m hurting you, Brian. It’s not my intention” I say, feeling the tears in my eyes. “You’re the last person on this planet that I want to hurt. It’s just… things will never be the same between us. I’ve come to accept that & I think you should too. Because I miss my best fucking friend” I say, wiping a tear. “I miss you. I miss all the stuff we used to do. I miss staying up, drinking & getting shit faced just because we felt like it. I miss you coming into my place at ungodly hours in the morning to talk & then cuddle with me so we can catch some sleep. I miss talking to you at 3 AM when you can’t sleep” I say, sniffing, trying to hold the tears that are coming more & more against my will. “I miss us” I say & see that his head is bow down.

“I miss that too” He says & I’m shocked at how weak his voice is. “I miss all of that. But that’s never coming back” He says & I’m shocked. “We can’t go back to that after everything that happened. You might’ve done it. You might’ve moved on, but I haven’t. & I don’t want to. I don’t want to be just your best friend” He says, turning to look at me & I see tears in his eyes too. “I need to be more than that” He says, walking towards me. “I need to hold you when I want to. I need to kiss you just because I feel the need to. I need to make love to you so I can feel complete again. I need you… all of you. Not just the pieces you’re willing to give me, Belle” He says & I let out a sob. Why are his words hurting me so much? He walks to me & hugs me, comforting me. “I’m sorry. I just… you were right. I need to deal with the fact that you’re not mine anymore, if you were ever mine to begin with” He says into my hair, stroking the back of my head & I grab the front of his shirt, letting my incontrollable tears still run. “You’re gonna get married, just like I did. & you will be happy & I’ll try to be happy” He says, & I turn my head up to look at him. He brushes some hair out of my face, caressing the side of my face with his hands. I see that he shed some tears too. They surely got lost on my hair. His eyes are still an amazing brown, captivating to the last spec of color. His cheekbones & jaw still chiseled & perfect. I raise my hand & run my fingertip through his jaw line. He keeps staring at me & I can’t lie… I’m enjoying our closeness. I missed being able to touch him. To feel his warmth. To be in his arms.

“Everything ok here?” I hear Matt say, entering the room. I drop my gaze. I feel Brian nodding.

“Yeah. Everything is fine” He says, not turning & I can feel his eyes on me still.

“Just letting you know that we’re leaving” Matt says & I hear him leave, before returning my gaze to Brian. His sad smile is still on his face. He kisses my forehead, before letting go of me & walking towards the door.

“So… where do we stand?” I ask, in a feeble, fragile voice, not sure about this whole situation. “What’s gonna happen to us?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, he stops momentarily before chuckling.

“I’m not the one that’s gonna give you you’re happy ever after, Belle. You were right. I had my chance & I blew it. So I’m gonna grant you your wish… I’ll just disappear from your life so you can have a shot at being happy. I just hope that you’ll remember me when I’m gone” He says, walking out of the room, leaving me gasping for air. I can’t believe he actually listened to me. That’s a first. But why does he have to do it now?

Can you blame him, Annabelle? You’ve been pushing him away all these years & all of a sudden he finds you engaged & ‘in love’ with someone else. You asked him to disappear from your life, since he was your stepping stone. He’s just doing what you want. You should be happy. The small voice inside my head says. But why am I not happy? Why do I feel so miserable? Why do I feel like I felt that day? & why am I the one chasing him now?

Maybe because- “No, I can’t” I say out loud, interrupting that annoying little voice again. That’s ridiculous. I just can't. I'm just confused. Too many thing have happened in the past few days. I just need a breather. “Pull yourself together, woman” I mutter to myself, wiping the tears from my face & walking out of the room, telling myself that I won’t go back to be the same Annabelle that I was 3 years ago. I’m a new person & I’m not gonna fall into Brian’s webs again. That’s the past. He’s my past.

Keep repeating yourself that. Someday you might believe it.

“Fuck you, little voice”