You Lost Me, You Left Me

“You look a mess.” Megan said as she slid in the booth across from me.

Megan had been on some kind of trip around Arizona for the past week since she was this year’s reigning Miss Arizona. She was home for a few days and then would be heading out on another trip for a month or so. We had met at the diner because I had just gotten out of class and she had just gotten home and was hungry.

“Thanks.” I muttered sarcastically.

She sighed and said, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that you’ve obviously been upset ever since coming back to Tempe and I know it’s because of John. I don’t see why you’re being so stubborn.”

“She’s been stubborn ever since I’ve known her.” I heard a voice say. I looked up to see Jared looking down at us.

“What are you doing here?” I grumbled.

“Well hello to you too best friend.” Jared said sarcastically and then continued, “I went over to your apartment to talk to you and you weren’t there so I figured I’d see if you at the diner.”

“Lucky me.” I muttered.

“Why don’t you have a seat Jared? You can sit by me if you’re worried about Parker-Blaine biting your head off.” Megan said and I noticed a slight blush on her cheeks.

“Thanks Megan.” Jared said smiling as he slid in next to her. He then turned to me and said, “Why the hell did you just leave last night without even giving John a chance when he tried to talk to you?”

“He tried to talk to you and you didn’t even give him a chance?!” Megan screeched.

“Apologies can’t take back what he said and did to me.” I said.

“Stop acting like you’re so fucking innocent in all of this. What John did was wrong and horrible, I’ll admit that. But instead of staying and facing your problems you just ran away and now you won’t even give him a chance.” Jared said blowing up at me.

“Stop acting like you’re my friend when all you want to do is talk to me about all the wrong things I’ve done.” I spat back at Jared.

“That’s not fair Parks. I am your friend. Sure, I’m giving you some tough love right now but it’s what you need.” Jared said in a nicer tone.

“No, you know what’s not fair? Everyone is judging me and acting as if they know what’s best for me when they don’t know what I’ve been going through this past year and a half.” I said.

Megan timidly spoke up and said, “We’re honestly just trying to help Parks. You’ve been in so much emotional pain lately and we hate seeing you like this. Talking to John may not fix everything but it has to make things better. I mean, it can’t get any worse, can it? It’s at least worth a shot.”

“I know you guys are trying to help. I’m just so confused. I just want to be happy again. Why is it so fucking hard to be happy?” I said as my emotions once again got the best of me and I began to cry.

Jared slid out from his side of the booth and into mine as he wrapped his arms around me and let me cry on his shoulder.

“Everything will eventually be ok Parks. I don’t know when, but I promise you that you will be happy again.” Jared murmured against my hair.

“Thanks Jare and Megs. Sorry, that I’m such a mess.” I said as I wiped my eyes and Jared went back over to sit next to Megan.

“It’s ok. Just know that we’re always here for you.” Megan smiled at me.

I was about to answer but my phone suddenly rang. I looked down at the caller id and saw the familiar number.

“Hi dad.” I answered.

“Parker-Blaine, you need to come to Alabama.”