I Want to Go Outside

Clarissa’s pov
I didn’t care what happened to me anymore. I would rather be dead than with theses douche bags. Max was annoying as hell, Craig was too bossy, Robert always glared at me, and Bryan tried to hard to try to get me to like him.

I wasn’t blind, I could see that he wanted me but my heart belongs to Gerard and no one can change that. They can beat me as much as they like or even slit my throat but none of that will keep me from loving Gee. I would be his cookie no matter what happened.

It had been at least a week that I had been here. I couldn’t sleep at all. When I shut my eyes I could see the guys being murdered. I could see the life fade out of Gerard’s hazel green eyes. Jimmy’s blue eyes were vacant of emotion. Ray, Mikey, and Frank were face down in a pool of their own blood. Matt and Zacky were nailed to the wall in a similar form as Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross. Johnny’s arms and legs were chopped off leaving only his torso and head intact.

I would always turn around in the dreams to see Bryan, Craig, Max, and Robert smirking at what they had done, then in front of me my dad would appear. He had a disappointed look on his face as he said, “This is your fault.” While his back was turned Max would pick up an as and swing at my dad. I was paralyzed so I couldn’t move an inch, I could only watch as my father was decapitated in front of my own eyes.

After all of that was over I would wake up to find that it was nothing but a nightmare, a horribly realistic nightmare. This room I was in was blank. White walls, light brown wood floor, white bed room set. The only thing that had color was the clothing that Bryan had gotten for me, but most of that stuff was Max’s old shirts and loose fitting jeans. I had to wash my bra all the time, and then I just wore Max’s old boxers all the time since his clothes fit me better.

“Well good morning princess.” Max smirked, walking into the room.

I ignored him and watched out of the corner of my eyes as he set a tray of food in front of me. Once he set it down I pushed it away from me.

“Not hungry.” I mumbled.

“You didn’t eat yesterday and now you’re not eating today, what’s wrong with you?” Max rolled his eyes at me.

“You mean besides the fact that I was just basically kidnapped?” I snapped.

“Don’t be a smart ass.” he growled.

I rolled my eyes and watched as he raised his hand to slap me. I smirked and looked up at him.

“Go for it, I don’t give a shit. Hit me.”

He brought his hand down but before it even made contact with my skin he pulled away and walked out of the room. He glanced up at me before walking out of the room and locking the door behind him. After a couple of minutes I looked at the tray to find a plate of eggs, hash browns, and toast. Next to the plate was a small disposable cup that contained apple juice, or it just looked like it. I didn’t trust food when Max brought it to me, so I wouldn’t eat it no matter how loud my stomach was growling. Bryan was the only person I would take food from because he wouldn’t poison me or piss in my cup of ‘apple juice’.

Maybe, just maybe I could take advantage of his kindness and use him as my ticket out of here.