Have No Fear

Last night had been amazing, the show had been great and after that hanging out with my friends at the after party. But the best part was on the end when Brian kissed me, we kissed many times before but they always were lead on by some sexual tension but last night it was just a simple and sweet kiss.

I got out of my bunk with a small on my face thinking back at what Brian had said to me.

"You're an amazing girl, Kate." He said while while we stood there, he with his hands on my waist, and mine on his shoulders. We waived slowly from left to right. "And I really like you." While saying those words he just looked at me with such love in his eyes. "I really like you too." I said back to him. He smiled happily from my words and leaned down to kiss me.

It had been an amazing night. But this morning hadn't been bad either when I woke up I saw a text from Brian. 'Hey sweetheart, I can't wait to see you, let's go out. X'

I wanted to text him back, saying that I couldn't wait to see him but I decided against it and decided to just go to his bus. I got ready choosing my favorite skirt with a new shirt. After I put on some make up and I brushed my hair I made my way to the Avenged Sevenfold bus.

When I saw their bus coming up I quickened my pace, I couldn't wait to see him. When I arrived at the bus I made my way up the short stairs, I walked into the main area with a big smile. It only brightened when I saw Brian standing there with his back to me.

"Hey you, missed me?" He turned around to face me. I made my way over there but mid way I froze, I was expecting him to be happy to see me, give me a hug and kiss me but his face stayed blank. I looked at him curious. He just closed his eyes and sighed before he walked up to me and gently took me by my arm. I let him lead me out of the bus, when we got outside he let my arm go.

"Brian, what's wrong." I asked him the worry evidently in my voice. He answered with three words, but those three words broke my heart.

"Michelle is here."

"What, why?" I asked but I already knew the answer, she was his wife, they were married. When the thing between her and Brian started she didn't really care he was married, she just wanted to have fun of he was married it was his problem. But then when she developed feelings for him, she started to think more about this woman that could call him hers. Finally she decided that she didn't want to let Brian go and she just tried to forgot about her. But now she couldn't ignore the fact that he was married because his wife was here.

For a moment she didn't know what to do, would she scream at him, would she run in and tell Michelle everything. But she was never really into being dramatic.

"I understand, I'll leave." I turned around and walked away silently hoping that he would stop me, take me in his arms and tell me that he only loved me. But that didn't happen and I ended up alone in the bus with a nice bottle of vodka to keep me company.

It was only one in the afternoon when Pete walked in to the bus to see me sitting on the ground with an almost empty bottle in my lap. My eyes were red from crying and I started to sing The Winner Takes It All from ABBA. Pete walked up to me and grabbed the bottle from my hands but I was too drunk to care. After he put it on the table he sat in front of me but I refused to look at him. he would probably say I told you so, and I didn't want to hear it.

After I didn't look up he put his hands on my cheek so that he could lift my head up and force me to look at him. When I saw his worried filled eyes I broke down, again. "He is married." Pete just put his arms around me and hugged me tightly. "I know sweetie."

That night I performed my worst show ever, I was hangover from my bender that afternoon and I just felt like shit. Pete tried to save the show by playing his heart out, blowing kisses to the fans and jumping around. I felt bad when I saw him playing an amazing show and I was just ruining it for him.

As soon as our set was over I left the stage and made way to the busses, not feeling like hanging around. When I passed the other bands I saw Brian standing there with Michelle on his arm, she looked so happy being there but I just hated her. The rest of the band stayed at the venue, explaining that I hadn't been feeling well all day and how I maybe caught the flu. I didn't care I just wanted to get out of there.

As soon as I got on the bus I searched for the remaining vodka, It didn't take long for me to find it. I also grabbed a full bottle and made my way to my bunk. I grabbed my MP3 and picked Pain from three days grace. I quickly finished the first bottle before starting on the next one, eventually I fell asleep with a drunken haze, almost feeling as good as when I woke up this morning.

The next morning I woke up from a terrible hang over, as soon as I got out of bed I made my way to the toilet to empty my stomach. After there was nothing left I took a shower hoping that it would let me feel just a little alive. After my shower I got dressed in the first pair of jeans and shirt that I saw laying in my bag.

Just as I finished getting dressed a knock was heard and soon after some footsteps. I made my way to the front but before I got there I heard a female voice calling out. I knew who that was, there weren't that many woman on the tour, actually she was the only one. She contemplating to hide out in one of the bunks but her curiosity got the best of her, she wanted to meet the woman that married Brian Haner.

I made my way in to the living room where a beautiful blond woman stood. "Hey, you must be Kate. I heard so much about you. I'm Michelle, Brian's wife."

'Brian's wife' the words slicing through my heart. I wanted to hate her but she was all bubbly and happy standing there. I hadn't gotten a real good luck at her last night but now I could see how pretty she was, I slightly regretted drinking last night. A hang over doesn't really bring out your best side.

"Hey, yes I am. It's nice to meet you." I said trying to be friendly. For a minute I thought about telling her about me and Brian just to see her smile fall but I knew that I couldn't do that.

"I heard from Bri, that your the only girl on this tour and since he is busy with an interview I was wondering if you want to go shopping with me. Just having some girl time."

Going a day shopping with the wife of the guy you love. It sounded as a possible very painful experience but I must be a masochist.

"Sure, let me grab my bag." I said while plastering a big smile on my face.

"So I decided to come her so that we could be together on our two year anniversary." I looked Michelle, all day I tried to find some flaws in her but I couldn't find one. She loved her husband, She was great friends with the whole band, She was extremly beautiful, She didn't spend all Brian's money on expensive and the worst she was really nice. I was impossible not to like her, the only thing that I didn't like about her was the fact that she was married to Brian.

We had went shopping for a few hours before we went to lunch and now we were getting back to the venue because I had to be back for the sound check. Michelle was telling about her surprising Brian for their anniverary. "That's so sweet." I told her. "But isn't it hard to be married to someone that is away for most of the year." I wondered. "Well yeah it's hard but I love him you know and I can't really imagine a life wthout him." I smiled at her answer. She was so in love with him, for a moment yesterday she had thought she had found a relationship like that but she knew that that wouldn't happen. Brian belonged to Michelle.