I Brought You Bullets, You Brought Me Love

The smirks, the glances, it all came down to me when Frank said those three words. “Who said that?” was the last thing I had expected him to say; I expected him to deny it, to run away, or even to kiss me. Not those words. Not that question.
I carefully looked to my tummy to see what was the hard thing that was rubbing against it, and my breath got caught up in my throat when I saw it shine. It was shinning, and my eyes widened at its size; it was HUGE. And I mean real huge. It’s not like something you see on the TV or on the internet, and you think “wow, that’s big”; it was bigger, and larger. And it felt hard against my tummy; gosh, I couldn’t let Mikey see that, but before I could stop him, he was already looking, hyperventilating from the shock. I was pretty sure that what he had just seen was going to traumatize him forever, and haunt him on his dreams. Gosh, I hated Frank for doing that to him.
- So, are you admiring my gun? – He asked, and I could hear the smirk on his voice; I snapped my head at him, a disgusted frown formed on my lips.
And, if you’re asking, he wasn’t kidding when he said we were admiring his gun; what I had rubbing on my tummy was a real gun. From what I could see, it was a Colt .45 [yeah, my father gave me all kinds of lessons on guns and how to use them, when I was younger], and I could bet it was charged. Fuck my life.
- Fr-Frank… why do you have a gun pointed at me? – I asked him, my voice trembling. What a stupid question, Gerard!
- Well, Gerard, because you’re gonna make exactly what I say to you; otherwise, one bullet will crave deep down your body, and your brother will watch as you die slowly and painfully, all the blood staining the bathroom floor. And you wouldn’t want that, would you? – Frank replied, his voice turning into a threatening tone that I never had heard anyone use before; not even my parents’ killer.
- O-okay – I replied, and started breathing faster, wondering what he would want that he would have to threat me to get.
- Now, now, Gerard, bend on the bathroom counter… and you, Michael, go sit on it, and lean yourself against the wall – Frank ordered, and me and Mikey did as he told, both of us afraid he would shoot us; Frank let go of the pistol on my tummy, and, instead, pointed it at Mikey, making me obey him faster.
As soon as I was bend over it, facing the mirror, but not really looking at it, I heard Frank deal with his belt, and with a soft sound, I knew his pants were no longer on his legs, but laying beside his ankles, instead. He was doing all of this so he could take a piss? Was he crazy?
- Take your pants off, Gerard – Frank then said, and I looked at him through the mirror, watching as he was behind me, doing something to his lower parts… Like he was jacking off behind me, or something; then, it all made sense. He was going to… to… - I said, take your pants off! – He screamed, not too loud so the people outside the bathroom wouldn’t hear, and I saw his finger squeeze slightly the trigger of the gun; that soft movement made me push my pants down desperately. – And now your boxers – he said, and I did as he told, no longer looking at the mirror, but at the sink that I had below my head, instead. I was crying, and I could hear Mikey crying. – Michael, don’t you dare look away. I want you to see this – Frank said, and I heard him laugh malevolently; I looked at Mikey, and saw him crying and looking at what Frank was doing behind me.
All of a sudden, I felt something penetrate my before virgin ass-hole, and I couldn’t help but scream at the pain. It felt so wrong… so fucking wrong. It was painful, there was no love, there was no sweet words whispered on my ears, there was no kisses along my body, there was nothing but a literal pain in the ass. He was thrusting in and out of me, and I couldn’t help but scream at the pain he was causing me. There was no pleasure at what he was doing to me, although I could hear him moaning, very loudly. He was getting faster and stronger, and I was whining with all the pain. I looked away from Mikey, and put my head low, facing the sink, and felt the urge to vomit. He was taking away my virginity, and I could do nothing to stop him; not because I was liking it, but because he had a fucking gun pointed at my little brother, who was being forced to watch it all. I hated Frank Iero with all the strength I could have [not that it was much, but okay]. I was still screaming in pain, and that seemed to give Frank even more pleasure.
- Yeah, scream for me, baby! – He said, between his loud disgusting moans.
It appeared to me that he took an eternity, but after a while of thrusting in and out of my body, I felt him releasing inside of me, his hateful sperm spreading through my body. That was it. As soon as he left my body, I vomited into the sink, not able to stop the tears falling from my eyes as well. I now understood what Ray said when he told me I’d meet him at lunch. I was just hoping this was just a one break stand, nothing more.
- You’re free to go now, bitches, but if anyone knows about this, I swear I’m gonna haunt you until I get to kill you both – Frank threatened, loud enough so I could hear him talking above the noises I was making while vomiting. – You heard me?
- Ye-yes – Mikey replied, and I couldn’t, since I was still vomiting.
- You heard me, Way? – He screamed beside my ear and I nodded, still crying and vomiting. – Good, then. Get out of here five minutes after I go, and head directly to your class, before you both get late – Frank said, and, for a single second, I actually thought he cared. One single second. – I don’t want people to ask me why you two got late for your class after being with me. Oh, and by the way, if I was you, I wouldn’t pull my pants back up just now, you’re bleeding, asshole. Too much strength for you, hein?
And, with that, he left. I quickly pulled my pants back up, not even caring about staining my boxers or pants with that red liquid, and washed the sink where I had thrown up, putting some water on my face as well. Then, I looked over at Mikey, who was still sitting on the counter, rocking his body back and forth, crying onto his knees. I considered touching him, but restrained myself before doing that; I was dirty, and I would not give my brother the dirtiness that belonged to me. I looked at my clock, and after five exact minutes had passed, I cleared my throat, and looked over at Mikey; he wasn’t crying anymore, but it seemed that he was just a dead body, so emotionless he was.
- Mikey, time to go – I told him, and he looked at me, his eyes showing some emotion I couldn’t really name, ‘cause I had never seen before that emotion placed in Mikey’s eyes.
He looked away quickly and got up, walking out of the bathroom with me following; then, he stopped dead on his tracks, and went to his pocket to get his schedule. He handed it over to me, and I saw what class he had next: art; then, I looked over my schedule and noticed I’d have art too. The first good thing to happen on that day.
- We’ve both got art, come, I’ve passed through the classroom before, I know where it is – I said, and started walking over to the classroom, hearing his shoes hitting the floor behind me.
While we were walking, I noticed there were still students on the corridors, a lot of students, but I kept walking towards the classroom; as soon as we got there, the bell went off, and me and Mikey entered through the open door, going to the back row of the classroom. We took a seat next to each other, but never talked.
Since it was the first day, all we had to do was do a small presentation from our seats, and then do whatever we wanted to do. Due to that, I put on my headphones, The Misfits blasting, took out my sketch pad, and started drawing. I didn’t notice what I was drawing until it was too late: I had already drawn the scene I had assisted at my former home; I had already drawn my dead parents. Luckily, the bell rang, and I saved my sketch pad in my back pack, and waited for Mikey to get his shit together, and went to the canteen.
Hooray, lunch time; and yes, I’m being sarcastic.
As soon as we both entered the canteen, I could feel someone look at me; I turned my head, and instantly saw Frank laughing at my face.
- Faggot! – Someone screamed, and I moved quickly into the only place I knew I was safe, hoping Mikey would follow me; because of all that had happened that day, I wasn’t even hungry, so, I just stayed in front of the table, still on my feet, and soon felt Mikey beside me.
- How are you? – Ray asked, and I noticed that he was really worried about me.
- Not so good – I replied, honestly. – This is my brother, Mikey – I said, introducing him; he smiled slightly at all the people that surrounded the table, that weren’t that much.
- Hey – Ray said, and then turned to his friends. – Guys, this is Gerard, the guy I talked to you about… - he said, and then started pointing at his friends. – This is Bob and that is Alicia; we’re the outcasts.
- The outcasts? – Mikey questioned, and I could sense him look over at the girl with interest.
- Yeah – she replied, smiling at him. – I’m the one everyone calls “emo” – she said, rolling her eyes. – And, well, Bob and Ray are the outcasts because they’re bisexual.
At the very second she said that, I looked at Ray and Bob, surprise crossing my face as I did so.
- Yeah, and we’re taken – Bob replied, smiling and glancing at Ray, – by each other.
- Oh, okay – I said, smiling slightly; it was pretty obvious my smile was fake. – I’m happy for both of you.
- Hey, man, you don’t have to smile if you don’t feel like doing it – Ray said, looking friendly at me. – Wanna take a sit?
I looked at the chair in front of me, considering if I should sit down or not; then, I remembered how it hurt to be sat down at my art class, and politely refused.
- Sorry, I can’t… - I told him, biting my lip as I remembered what happened at the first break.
- Wh-why? – Bob questioned, alarmed. – He just forced you to make him a blowjob, right? – He asked, and I slowly shook my head, as my eyes watered.
- Wow, wait… he forced you to do more than that? – Ray asked, and as soon as I nodded, I felt two arms wrap around me, through my sides, and I turned to face Mikey looking at me and crying.
I hugged my little brother, some tears escaping my eyes as I did so, and I closed my eyes, leaning my head on his shoulder, hiding my face from everyone as I sobbed, and yet whispered some comforting words to Mikey.
- Mikey, it’s okay… It doesn’t even hurt anymore. Shhh, it’s okay, Mikey – I was whispering, sobbing here and there, being impossible for me to stop crying.
Suddenly, I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Frank behind me, smiling widely at my tears.
- Poor baby, does it hurt? Does it? – With that, I couldn’t hold myself back anymore; I turned completely around, my tears smudging my eyeliner.
- Fuck you, Frank. Fuck you! – I said, and as I was about to punch him, I felt that gun against my tummy, again, hidden by his jacket.
- Try it, Way. Try it, and you’re a dead man… or girl, I shall add – he mocked laughing; I bit my lip, and my arms fell back to my side, as he laughed aloud at my face of fear. – As I thought… Well, I gotta go now; see you tomorrow at the same time, the same bathroom, both of you there. If I don’t see you there, consider both of you dead – Frank told me, and me and Mikey nodded, afraid of him. – Great! Bye, baby – he said, mocking, and kissed my cheek sloppily.
I couldn’t help but clean my cheek after he was gone; that motherfucker was playing me like a toy! Fuck, I had to find a way to end it all.
I turned to the guys on the table, and they looked at me, confused and shocked.
- Wow! Why didn’t you hit him? – Bob asked, as he held Ray’s hand, not afraid of being mocked or anything.
- Gun – Mikey replied for me, as he took a sit on one of the chairs around the table, and put his head on his hands, obviously tormented. – That motherfucker has a gun.
I put one of my hands on Mikey’s shoulder, and he immediately moved one of his hands to grab my own, squeezing it lightly, maybe to give me strength or something like that. That was only one of the reasons I loved my little brother: even if he was a complete crap, he forgot everything that bothered him to help me; he had always been like that. Especially when I had had a problem with alcohol and drugs; despite he was a total shit because of me, he still ignored it all and helped me get clean and sober. I still regret of doing everything I had done to my little brother; he surely didn’t deserve it.
I looked at Mikey, who was still holding my hand, but was having a calm conversation with Alicia; they seemed to get along pretty well. That realization made me smile; it was more than time for my brother to have a girlfriend, and I was sure Alicia would make an amazing girlfriend.
However, that realization brought me pain as well; I’d never have someone to care for me, to hug me, to kiss me sweetly, to be always there for me, because I was fucking gay. And the only gay people I knew were already taken. I think I’m doomed to die alone, that’s it.