Walking Contradiction

Oh for fucks sake. Adopted by Billie Joe Armstrong who I have a total raging boner for and in his house with Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool. Seriously? I don't know whether to thank my lucky stars or to curse them! Ew that I fancy fuck out the adoptive father. Total mega ew!

But they made it pretty cool, I ended up crashing out on the couch with so much beer and flying and shit when we went to the living room. They were watching some sport shit anyways. Apparently Billie Joe scooped me up and lay me in my bed, covering me with duvets and kissing my forehead. Ok so maybe I was awake at this point and I swear I could've died!

It's my phone ringing thats waking me up right now but I honestly could not care less. I'm enjoying the song.

"We can jam at Joe's Garage, his mom shouting 'Turn that down!'"

A small knock on the door makes me sit up in ew yesterdays clothes.

"Come in," I call and Billie Joe comes in with two mugs of oh sweet jesus yes percolator coffee. No instant for me! I cradle it lovingly in my hands and inhale its wonderful deep scent.

"Thank you god," I whisper and Billie sits at the bottom of the bed.

"Yes I know I am awesome. So did you sleep ok?"

"I slept great, I'm a bit ugh from too much beer but yeah I'm good. Actually that good night kiss made all the difference," I say and wink at him to which he blushes.

"You were supposed to be crashed out you dick," I grin at him and kiss his cheek.

"Well now we're even ya big baby," I say and stretch. This is some fucking good coffee and tell him so.

"What are we doing today?" I ask and secretly hope it includes getting into his bed - OH GOD BRAIN STAHP.

"Well I thought we could just laze around you know, maybe go in the pool or something? Have dinner and watch some shit tv,"

"Sounds fucking-A. Tell me do you have the Big Lebowski?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods?"

"Not if its a polar bear."

"Tocuhe," we grin at eachother before I get up and stretch properly, baring my midriff. I catch him looking at the smooth skin on my stomach and suppress a smile. Oh yeah he thinks I'm hot! Although I'm probably deluding myself, I mean hes THE Billie Joe Armstrong. Chicks just throw themselves at him and I'm no different.

"So anyways get out I'm gonna go use your bathroom and like wash away that 'just been on a plane' smell," I say and he laughs lightly exiting.

I dig in my suitcase and pull out some clothes and other shit like shampoo and conditioner (citrus scented is totally amazing!) and my razor for my legs and shizzle. I go into the very fancy bathroom with a separate bath and shower (lush!) and turn the shower on, heat instantly coming through. I strip and climb in rejoicing in the hot water soothing my scalp and body. After doing the hair and legs and pits business I'm just about to exit when I realise, fuck I have no idea where the towels are. UGH DAMN YOU. I get out and check the tall white cupboard which just has a boiler in it. I check every cupboard and space for the towels, even a hand towel but no. Fffuuuuckkk!

"Billie Joe? Hey Armstrong? BILLIE!" I scream finally and he appears at the top of the stairs.

"Yeah what? Is there a spider or something?" He asks and I scowl.

"I am not scared of spiders. But tell me what's wrong with this scene? I'm dripping wet, refuse to come round the door and you're the only guy I know who doesn't keep what thing in the bathroom?"
Confusion and then I see it dawns on him.

"Shit, I forgot to tell you where the towels are. Sorry, sorry," He whines and opens the hall cupboard, passing me two big fluffy and soft towels.

"Thanks!" I say and shut the door, wrapping my hair and then body in towels. He's so sweet it's funny. I dry off my body and put on todays choice of clothes, Iron Maiden vest, tiny but comfiest red shorts ever and some socks. Underwear obviously too but I leave the bra. I have not like huge but big breasts and they sit nice with or without a bra, something I'm proud of.

I head downstairs, towelling my soft red hair as I go.

"Hey Billie Joe, I could totally go some breakfast you got any cornflakes?" I charge into what I guess is the kitchen and hes sat at the table with a paper.

"Oh hey. Yeah theres cornflakes in the cupboard," He directs me to a cupboard next to the cooker for bowls and shit, but the cereal it just had to be in the cupboard above the fridge. I'm about to climb on the worktop after struggling like fuck to even get the cupboard open. I'm not a dwarf but I'm only 5"2 and well thats pretty short. But here he comes, dorko the wonder Armstrong being my hero gets my cereal for me.

"Thank you," I'm trying to be dignified but I know hes trying not to giggle at me. Damn men and their egos. I sit down to my cereal and he looks over at me like I'm on fire or something.

"What?" I ask

"You don't have sugar on your cornflakes?"

"Ew good god no! I hate sugar. I don't take it on or in anything. Don't get me wrong I love candy its like my favourite thing in the world but just like I dunno, I'm not keen on sweet coffee and cereal nd stuff," I say blushing and he nods after a moment.

"Thank god, I thought I was gonna have to throw out my munchies cupboard y'know?" he says and I slant my eyes at him. Munchies cupboard? That could mean nothing but it could also mean...

"What?" He asks and I shake my finger at him.

"Where's the drugs? God dangit, I know they're here, give up the weed," I say and I swear hes the same colour of red on the cornflakes box.

"Hey now, there ain't no drugs here,"

"Pfft lier, either skin up or face my wrath," I say to which he grins.

"Excellent, you get the coffee on," to which I salute and put on a fresh pot.

"Should I really be smoking weed with you?"

"If you don't I will shave off your hair while you sleep."

"Okay then, weed it is," I smile at him and pour him a coffee adding milk and a sugar.

"How is God's name did you know what I take in my coffee?"

"I'm like psychic, didn't that say in my stupid profile thing I had to write?"

"Oh yeah, yeah I think it was inbetween 'Write numbers on your ass!' and 'I am a unicorn from Omicron 4'," I grin at him and oh god what the hell am I doing? I'M FANTASIZING AGAIN. It was just the way he looked at me, his sweet crooked smile and his just woke up messy hair shaking slightly as he laughed. Ugh, living here is gonna be a nightmare!

"You're so cute when you blush you know that?" He says playfully and I glare at him.

"I was not blushing! Nothing to blush at," I say and turn my face away pouting then return to my cereal. He slowly gets out his seat at the table and the chair squeaks across the wood floor. I pull a face and he pulls me out my seat.

"Dude what the hell?" I growl, wiping milk from my chin from talking with my mouth full, gross I know but I'm pissed from being dragged from my breakfast. He loops his thumbs in my shorts and my heart literally just stops as he pushes me into the corner of the worktops. I swallow hard as he delicately wipes a bit of milk from the corner of my mouth and puts it in his own mouth. Good god hes so close if I take a deep breath my breasts touch his chest. He comes in closer, his lips close to my ear, his stubble brushing my cheekbone as I shiver in pleasure.

"So this won't make you blush either? If my dashing smile didn't do it then this will be a lost cause," he whispers and I swear I just melt there and then. I have to support myself on the worktop when his lips brush my lobe as he speaks and for god's sake I'm totally defenseless. He slowly comes away from my ear and smiles at me, peeking at me from under his hair.

"You have bad morning breath you know that?" I finally manage and he laughs pulling away.

"Freaking perv, playing on a girls emotions like that," I mumble and attempt my breakfast but can't my heart is going a million miles and I can't stop blushing. He still laughing, skins up and offers me first draw.

"Fuckin damn right ya creep," I growl and spark it up inhaling deeply. Ugh that is so much better, I can finally function normally after a few draws. I hand it back and his face is priceless. I swear his eyebrows have disappeared into his fringe.

"Huh, so you weren't just trying to be cool nd shit then?"

"God no, I've been smoking weed on and off for a couple years now," I say and he nods. I go for a second bowl of cereal and that ass has put it back in the cupboard. He sucks so much! Rather than deal with the embarrassment of trying to reach I climb up on the worktop. I jump down not so gracefully but I still got my own damn cereal. All the while hes been watching me with a smug look. When I sit down he gives me a small applause.

"Bravo, good girl for getting your own cereal,"

"Ugh, well I can't feed your ego all the time," I pour my cereal and milk and dig in.

"So you like cereal?" He asks and I just kinda look at him.

"Duuuhhh, I don't eat lunch so I have two bowls of cereal in the morning, so y'know you might wanna go get some more cereal or some shit," I say through a mouthful of cereal, I will break this habit eventually but not today. We sit comfortably in silence, me enjoying my cereal and him his paper and coffee. When I'm done he puts down his paper and looks at me expectantly.

"So, this pool is it awesome?" I ask and he nods, treating me to one of his killer cute smiles. Okay so he's really getting under my fucking skin but two can play this game!

"Well I don't have a bikini so I'm gonna be swimming in my underwear, problem? Take it up with my lawyer," I say and stand up briskly to go upstairs and change.

"Whose your lawyer?" He shouts after me.

"My foot long dick!" I shout back and hear him having a good chortle to himself. I smile and take the stairs two at a time, crashing into my room and flopping down on the bed, dragging my suitcase to me. I hear the front door open and Tre and Mike shout hello. I shout my hi back and tell them I'll get them at the pool. I'll show that frickin Billie Joe Armstrong who is hot!

I dig in my suitcase and find my sexiest underwear, lacy red pants and matching lacy bra. I then dig out my make up bag and grab some waterproof eyeliner and mascara slap it on with some harlot red lipstick. It is so on. I grab a towel from the cupboard in the hall and head downstairs wrapping it round me. Let it be a slow and torturous reveal.

I go through the living room and out the big patio doors and they're lounging round a table drinking beer with another sat for me. Oh how sweet. Oh god what have I done! Oh frig, frig, frig! Well its too late now. I grin and sit at the table.

"Wow Rose you look nice," Billie stutters as I sit down with my legs crossed over.

"Well thank you and thanks for the beer," I say and wink and take a long drink.

"Put your eyes back in your head boys, I would like some conversation today," I say and we all laugh after the guys nervously sort themselves.

"Sorry Rose, so how was your first night? Did you sleep ok and stuff?" Mike asks and I smile at him.

"I slept fine thanks, uber comfy bed, the way you guys decorated just made it awesome but I can't help agree that Tre is sexy," I say and give Tre a little wink to which he pretends to swoon. I laugh and turn to the pool. Ok Rose you can do this, just be cool.

"So I'm going in the pool, is anyone else?" I ask and they shrug.

"I might," Billie shrugs acting cool. Pfft just wait til your jaw hits the ground you sexual predator.I get up stretching and let the towel fall from my body, keeping a sly eye on Billie Joe and haha, I was so right! He's actually gawping, but then again so are Mike and Tre. Oh I am good. I linger, taking a long drink of my beer and run to the pool, cannonballing in. I come back up again and slick back my hair, grinning.

"Y'know most girls would attempt a swan dive but no, you know it's sexier to just cannonball," Tre says and I laugh, swimming to the edge.

"So are you guys coming in or what?" I ask and they're suddenly all on their feet, stripping down to their boxers. They all dive in and I'm tsunami'd on all sides. I roll my eyes and swim some lengths but I'm grabbed halfway through by Billie Joe and he throws me in the air letting me splash to the bottom of the pool. Oh it is on. I rise choking and glare at him but Mike picks me up bridal style and burls us round so I can't help but laugh.

"I'm gonna go lounge for a bit guys," I say but I don't think they're listening they're too busy beating eachother up and dunking eachother. I smile and unfold one of the loungers from the side of the house and lay back enjoying the sun drying my hair and underwear. I don't even notice Tre and Mike getting out the pool. Or them standing next to me. Or their giggling so blissful am I. But they grab me and chuck me back in the pool, Billie Joe catching me. I can't help but let out a scream and scrabble away from Billie Joe and chase them round the pool. Dangerous I know but the bastards!

"Aw Rosie don't be mad!" Mike shouts over his shoulder.

"I'm not mad, you guys are so gonna get hugs!" I say and Tre is stupid enough to stop.

"Really?"

"God no," and I tackle him into the pool. He splutters coming up and I spy from under the water Mike standing at the edge laughing. I kick off from the pool floor and like a dolphin come up and grab him, pulling him in too.

"Ha vengeance is a bitch ain't it!" I laugh and arms snake around my waist. I feel my eyes widen and a blush beginning in my cheeks. Okay this isn't funny anymore, I mean hes my adoptive father he can't can he? Why get me if he just thought I was cute? I mean hes super hot but, but, no we can't. His head rests on my shoulder and he brings me round to face him, grinning like an idiot. I can't help but smile back, my resolve melting away just like that! I laugh nervously.

"So I'm getting out now, um, yeah gonna go dry off and stuff," I manage to stutter and he smiles at me. God he can work me like a damn puppet!

"Okay sweetie," he says and pokes my nose making me giggle from nerves. He's going to be the death of me. I push myself up out the pool and back to my lounger, picking up my beer and towel on the way past the table. I'm lying back dozing when I'm interrupted rather sweetly.

"D'you mind if I join you?" Its Mike, smiling down at me, a lounger under his arm. I nod, yawning and stretching. He sets up next to me and is lying back sipping a beer as we watch Billie Joe doing laps. Oh my, his muscles flexing and bulging on each lap it's enough to drive a girl mad. He stops for a second and waves to me, his eyes bright and droplets of water glistening across his body.

"So the mind games started already?" Mike asks and I blush deeply.

"I don't know what you mean," I say stiffly and Tre laughing at the back of me makes me turn around. He has his lounger and is setting up on my otherside. Hes brought us all a fresh beer.

"Thanks Tre and what were you laughing at?"

"You know what, the mind games have totally started,"

"What mind games?!"

"Between you and Billie Joe, your egos are clashing like knights of old," Mike laughs and I flush a deeper shade of red.

"He totally started it, frickin sexual predator," I growl and they smile at me knowingly. I wince visibly and they raise an eyebrow at me.

"Tell me why he's torchering me? I mean I'm having a major moral dilemma here, hes like my adoptive..."

"Father?"

"Yeah that and yet we're flirting like hell with eachother,"

"Well thats something you need to ask him chick, its not our place to say,"

"What d'you mean?"

"It just isn't our place to say," Mike says sternly and I pout, crossing my arms. They laugh at me and Billie Joe is coming over towelling his hair.

"Whats so funny?" He smiles an I can't even answer, too busy admiring the flesh on show.

"Oh you know just girl stuff," Tre says like a teenage girl and we all turn to look at him. He just admires his nails and I can't help but laugh.

"Billie go get us some more beers would ya? And some shots! Shots would be awesome," I grin and he rolls his eyes.

"Oh lord what have I got myself into," He mumbles and I stick my tongue out at him. He comes back with a tray of four beers, a bowl of limes, salt and tequila! I clap excitedly and they laugh.

"To new friends," I grin and we cheer our beers. I take a sip and eye the tray longingly. Mmm tequila makes for a bad girl!

"So, who's taking first shot?" I ask and Mike and Tre shrug, Billie away to get his own lounger. Aw I really should've got him one when I got mine.

"Alright Tre, you're a freak, check this out," I grin and lye back.

"Tequila," I demand and Mike passes me the bottle, to which I pour a little in my bellybutton. Totally clean by the way!

"Salt," I demand once more and sprinkle some below my bellybutton in a trail.

"Mike have a lime at the ready, Tre take your shot," I smile mischievously and he gawps before grinning. He leans over me and licks up my stomach, a small shiver of pleasure going through me as his tongue traces me skin and he sucks the tequila up. He comes up and Mike hands him the lime which he sucks hard.

"That was one of the sexiest things I've ever seen... MY TURN!" Mike exclaims grabbing the tequila and pouring some on my stomach. I laugh and sprinkle the salt below my bellybutton again and when he licks it up, I get another shiver of pleasure. I wink at him when he comes up passing him a lime. I look over to Billie Joe who is pretending not to notice what's going on in another lounger. Come on, you guys are like Green Day, to me you are the sexiest fucks on the planet, if I can't kiss them I'm still determined to have their mark on my skin, wouldn't anyone else?

"Billie Joe Armstrong don't tell me you're chicken?" I grin at him, holding the tequila and shaking it provocatively. He grins and comes over, his hands either side of the lounger. He takes the tequila and pours it slowly, rubs the salt on my naval. He hands me a lime and winks. He goes down slowly, his breath sending tickles of pleasure over my skin. His tongue reaches the trail of salt and he licks so slowly, sipping the tequila slowly and oh god, I moan. He comes up grinning like an idiot at me and takes the lime from my limp hand, sucking it hard.

"Why did I ever come here I swear to god," I manage eventually and they're all laughing their asses off like frickin hyenas.

"Oh haha, hey man you try getting tongued by three sexy as fuck guys one after the other and not get any pleasure from it, obviously girls for you but, goddamnit you know what I mean!" I say and Mike pats my hand.

"It's ok but its your turn for tequila,"

"Am I hell taking it from either of you hairy bellybutton motherfuckers," I grimace and they just laugh.

"No doofus, I brought glasses before you decided to be a sexual deviant," Billie says and I stick my tongue out at him. I take the shot glass filled to the brim with tequila and Billie holds my lime, sprinkling salt on his free hand. I lick it up and down the shot, grabbing the lime and biting it hard.

"Ugh I hate tequila but its so good. Tequillaaa, it make you happeee!" I sing and they laugh.

"Come on Armstrong where the hells the music? This is like a freaking graveyard," I say and he rolls his eyes going in the house. I turn to Mike and Tre grinning.

"I totally need vengeance on that prick for the mind games, any suggestions?" I ask and the grin back at me.

"Well knowing him hes gonna put some dry clothes on while hes in the house so you could always get him wet again," Tre says his head nodding to the pool.

"Small, petty, I like it, I'm a petty crime person anyways," I smile and wait patiently for him to come back.

"So did we tell you that we think you're sexy?" Tre asks picking dirt from under his nails and I laugh lightly.

"There was something about that on my bedroom wall,"

"Oh excellent Billie didn't paint over it," Mike says and I smile.

"You guys don't really think I'm sexy do you?" No I'm not fishing for compliments but come on, they're fucking rockstars, chicks left, right and centre man!

"Course we do, take a look at yourself, you're a total babe and not a skank either," Tre says

"Aw not a skank you're such a romancer Tre," I roll my eyes but can't stop the small blush. Nyaww, they're so sweet. The Pixies come flowing through the patio doors and I nod along, sipping my beer. Oh yes, Tre you are the fucking man. Hes put clean dry clothes on. I get up pretending to be preoccupied with stretching and launch myself at him, dragging his warm, dry ass straight into the pool.

"Oh my shit, you total dick!" He exclaims the shock of the water trembling through him. I laugh at him and jump on him, wrapping my legs around him.

"Don't be mad, I was just playing," I whimper and give him my best puppy dog eyes and pout.

"Ugh, you totally suck babe," he says and I - oh jesus what have I done?! I gave him a small kiss on the mouth. I blush right to the roots of my hair and jump off him, climbing out the pool. Mike and Tre are busy laughing at Billie trying to pull himself out the pool in clothes, apparently its harder than it looks.

"So I'll be back in like a sex, sec! I'll be back in a sec gonna put like clothes on," I stutter slightly before retreating into the house. Oh good god I kissed him. I. Kissed. Him! Oh Rosie, what in the name of Jebus have you done! I run up the stairs and hide in my room after grabbing a towel from the cupboard. I towel my hair roughly and towel down my body after removing the offending wet items. What have I done? God you're a dumbfuck. You're the smeggiest, stupidest dumbfuck ever. I pull on my baggy Green Day nighty and flop back on the bed groaning.

My life is a black abyss.

"Hey trouble," Billie Joe chirps coming in and I sit up on my elbows.

"Oh. Hey," I say softly and he furrows his brow at me. He sits next to me and puts an arm around the back of me. Oh please stop. This is s wrong, please, please stop, I don't have the strength to tell you no.

"Is something wrong?"

"No nothing I, I just y'know out in the sun drinking, makes ya tired,"

"Yeah no, I know. Are you coming down for dinner? Mike and Tre are going to the supermarket and getting pizza while they're out so I thought I'd, I dunno make you dinner?" I bite my lip.

"Billie Joe, can I, could I ask you something?"

"Anything kiddo,"

"Why me?"

"What?"

"Why did you ah- adopt me?"

"I didn't adopt you,"

"Say what?" I sit up properly looking him in the eye.

"I didn't adopt you,"

"Then how the hell am I here?"

"I stole you,"