Lost in your eyes

...and so the last shreds of the illusion are carried away by the sunlight

After I don’t know how many steps, with my heart in my throat, I decided to stop.
I leaned against the white, cold wall waiting for my breathing to became regular.
Then I went out into the hall and tried the floor number: V.

By that time I felt the need to take the elevator. Very stupid thing, considering it was only two floors difference.
But my brain at that moment had other things to think about.

I waited patiently for sliding doors to open in front of me, and passed the time observing the contrast between the black colour of my boots and the bordox carpet in the corridor.
When the elevator arrived it was empty apart from a blonde girl in a blue suit who greeted me kindly and looked at me curious for several seconds.
I glanced at my wristwatch: in fact, rather low-cut tight red blouse and black skirt I wore was not the most appropriate clothing choice for 11 am.

Going down the entire length of the corridor on the third floor, I arrived at room 127. Fortunately, the key card was still there in my purse.
I opened the door slowly and before I could move one more step, I was wrapped in a warm embrace.

The room seemed so little in comparison with what I had just left it was ridiculous. I didn't notice before, but now I was amazed that in addition to the double bed, wardrobe and the few dark wooden pieces of furniture, there was still space to move around.

Ariana’s red curls tickled my face, as she stood up on the tip of her toes and no longer seemed to want to let her grip around my neck.

"I hate you" she muttered in my ear, before she departed.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I ..." I began, but she stopped me with a wave of her hand.

"Don’t you apologize! You have no idea what I went through," she scolded, striking me with her cold blue eyes. "You were gone! Of course, the phone is optional. Do you realize that? I woke up this morning at 8! At 8! And there was no sign of you. Nobody knew anything, and I ... "

I couldn’t suppress a smile.

"What now?" she said frustrated.

"Nothing," I muttered, shaking my head, "just that sometimes you look just like my mom."

She looked at me for a while, until her features softened then she walked over to me to hold me in her arms.
She knew well what those words I had just said had worthed.
My mother, my real mother died when I was only two years old.
I don’t remember anything about her. Absolutely nothing. And of course my father wasn’t a great source of information.
Arianna was also able to fill this void with her friendship and affection.

"I’m sorry," I repeated. This time, she let me speak, "I didn’t mean to make you worry. It was accidental ... "

"Where were you?"

I toyed with the closure of the purse for a long time. What can I tell her? Not the truth. I was sure I could trust Arianna, but that was not only my secret. I have promised. But how difficult it was to lie! I opted for the omission.

"To be honest, I don’t remember anything from the other night. I must have drunk a lot. And this morning as soon as I woke up I came here."

She stared at me for a long time, not at all satisfied with this very detailed account. Expecting me to continue, but realizing that I had no intention to do so she asked worriedly: "Where did you wake up?"
I sighed, looking down: "It’s not important. What matters is that everything is ok, right?" I painted a radiant smile on my face.

Arianna eyed me upset and not at all convinced.

"I swear on anything you want. Nothing bad happened, I'd tell you otherwise. Only, I can’t talk about it. "

"Swear on our friendship."

"I swear," I answered promptly.

"If it is not something serious, I am terribly curious! Are you sure you can’t tell me about it?" she begged me with her blinking.

In lovingly manner I slapped her on the butt. "No, I can’t," I said laughing. "And you're very nosy."

Then I threw myself on the bed, sinking my head into a pillow.
"Enough" I mumbled "I’ll bite someone's head off!"

"So you’ll learn how to drink less," Arianna cried from bathroom.

"Sure, sure, look who's talking," I muttered to cushion more than to her.

But she didn’t know how I felt: "What, what, what?"

"Nothing."

Curiously, there was no reply. I was surprised to enjoy the silence, until ...

"Nooo!" I moaned, burying my head under the pillow and pushing it as much as possible on the ears.

On cold wings she's coming
You better keep moving
For warmth, you'll be longing
Come on just feel it
Do you see it?
You better believe it

The notes of 'Ice Queen' were rising to full volume violently spreading in our not too spacious room.
I never had particular sympathy for Within Temptation.
But I tried to pay it for Arianna, who on the other hand, loved the group.
Of course, she knew that I won’t be as comprehensive in such a moment.

"You're infamous! Turn it off please!" I protested.

But she didn’t listen to my requests, but even sang her heart out above them.
I felt so compelled to get up, armed with a pillow, and I threw it at her.
She tried to avoid it but it eventually managed to reach her and hit her.

"Hey! It’s not valid! It is not fair," she groaned shielding herself with her arms.

"And what’s the ground for pardon?" I stopped, still holding the pillow ready.

"You’re not familiar with the rules of pillow warfare code," she asserted with the most serious attitude.

"And that is?" I asked impatiently.

"You can’t attack an unarmed man!" she proclaimed shocked by my ignorance. "A weapon please."

Snorting I turned toward the bed to retrieve another pillow, that I threw on her without too much delicacy.

"Content now?"

"Now you’ll pay," she shouted before launching the attack.

We continued our battle laughing like crazy, until, exhausted, we fell to the ground, on a bed of white feathers.
Of course this movement didn’t do me good, so only a few seconds later I had to take refuge in the bathroom.

**

Sitting outdoors at table of a coffee bar in Helsinki, lazily I was turning my teaspoon around my coffee cup. I supported my still too heavy head with my left hand as I watched the sun set too early in May behind the roofs of the houses.

"Wow how happy we are," Arianna said sarcastically.

I looked at her with my whithering eyes.
"Someone could have let me sleep a little longer."

"You're boring," she muttered, waving her hand in the air. She glanced at her watch: "These rock stars" she snorted "They just can’t never be precise on time."

I shrugged my shoulders. At the moment I really didn’t care.
My gesture made her even more irritating: "Urgh! Can I know what’s wrong with you? You're still here on Earth?"

Fortunately at that moment came Luke, followed by Andrea, the bassist of his band, and another Finnish guy with whom they had befriended with and whose name I couldn’t remember at that moment. He must have been more or less twenty-five, fair skin, blond hair tied in a low ponytail.
I was almost electrocuted by his smile as he took his seat next to me.

"Do you have it in your blood, eh? Never to be late?" Arianna rebuked them.

Luke scratched his head, ruffling his hair: "Sorry, Ri. You know, time flies. Do you remember Gabriel?" He added quickly, adopting the English language to make friends join in the conversation.

"Sure," Arianna cheerfully said. I simply made a nod. "How are you Gabriel?" she asked politely.
"All right, thanks. I'm glad to see you. I’m enduring these two all day long," he grinned pointing at the two boy at his left. "I do not know how I survived. Fortunately, I met you two, otherwise I would have had a really bad impressions about the Italians."
Everyone laughed heartily. Well, everyone except me. I didn’t hear a word of what Gabriel had said.

"Hey, what's the matter with Liz?" Andrea whispered in Arianna’s ear.

"I have no idea. She’s behaving strange all day," she nudged me with her elbow in the stomach.

"Ouch," I complained.

"You’re back with us or not?"

Awakened from my thoughts, I found four pairs of eyes watching me curiously.
I shook my head: "Sorry, my head is not well today.”

"We realized that," Luke grinned.

While ordering cocktails, he peeked at my cup: "Just coffee? You might have at least one proper drink. Maybe it pulls you up," he suggested.

"No thanks." I muttered in disgust "I can’t see a drop of alcohol."

"A lovely hangover, eh?" said Andrea, having fun as he was watching me with his hazel eyes.

"What an insight!" I said, maybe a bit sour. "By the way, I have a little light on the other night."

"What happened last night?" Gabriel said, raising an eyebrow.

"It's just what I want to know, too" annoyed I turned my gaze toward the singer.

"Don’t look at me that way." Luke put his hands on mine. "Last night you left. I thought you went back to the hotel ... Kiitos," he thanked the waitress who had brought their cocktails.

She put them slowly on the table, then she blinked and smiled.

"Not bad, the blond," said Andrea as soon as the maid was gone.

"I’ll leave the tip for her..." blinked Luke who with his joke got few laughs but also a good kick under the table. From me, of course.

"Ouch!" he cried, striking me with his gray eyes.

"We want to focus, please! We still have to rebuild the evening!"

"You don’t need to cripple me!"

"Sure?" Gabriel ran to my rescue "For a pair of beautiful legs you can lose your head."

Arianna didn’t hold back clapping, "Wow! Really, where did you catch this guy? He's too smart! "

"What are you doing? You’re playing the knight on white horse?" Luke asked, throwing a fist at the muscular arm.

"It just a bit of salt!" I said acidic.

"Hey! The girl has just gone crazy."

I shook my head. They were right. What had taken me? Maybe I need to sleep a little longer .

"Touchè," I muttered my 'apology'. “Okay, I’ll try to adjust. Then look back over at what has happened. We went out together and we went to a bar, right?"

"I was there, too," Arianna nodded.

Andrea stepped in, sipping his drink, "Yes but then you, Katriina and the others went to the pub, and we went with Liz to the Midnight Wish."

A shiver went through my back, 'I think I met you at the Midnight Wish, and then I'm afraid I have let go of myself ...' Leaving those thoughts, I was bringing my attention to Andrea’s words: "After a few more rounds you weren’t there anymore, but we have not worried too much. Maybe you were back at the hotel accompanied by one of those guys that were after you. Perhaps you had forgotten to warn us."

"You should have taken better care of her," upset Arianna ruled.

"No, it is not their fault," I defended them. "They're not my babysitters just because I’m the youngest."

I picked up the bag and pulled out the money for my coffee, which I put on the table next to my cup.

"Thanks for everything. See you guys."

"You’re leaving?" Luke asked in amazement.

"I’m not a great company. I better sleep on it."

"Are you coming tonight? Just yesterday we were asked if we’ll sing one or two songs at Midnight."

I shook my head, instinctively “I don’t think so. Good luck anyway."

"You want me to come with you?" Gabriel offered, while I was raising.

"Don’t worry," I smiled at his big blue eyes. "I won’t mind walking home by myself."

And so in the clear sunset, shaking in my leather jacket, I traveled through the streets of Helsinki to my hotel.