Lost in your eyes

Wipe away your inhibitions

May 4

"Come on! You don’t want to spend another night in the hotel closed in this hole, do you?”Arianna said, pulling me by the arm and forcing me to raise.

"Look, last night I wasn’t in the room" I pointed out "I spent my time in the lobby with other guests."

She snorted: "I can imagine: a bunch of caryatids, right?"

"No, really ..." I began my reply, but Arianna stopped me shaking her head vigorously: "Shh! I do not want to hear more stories! Now, let’s get dressed and go out together."

"And where should we go?"

"Surprise!"

I watched her awry for a few seconds: "At the Midnight Wish, right?"

"You got me. Come on! That place is wonderful. After all what do you care? This time..."
"Okay, I'll come," I sighed, while she was still speaking.

"And then ..." she continued her tirade, "You said yes? Uh, very good," she rejoiced almost dancing around.

I couldn’t help but smile: "Sorry, how old are you?"

"Twenty" she said stucking out her tongue at me.

I went to the closet to choose what to wear, thinking why I wouldn’t go to that place? What a stupid idea. First I would have good time. And then ... there was absolutely no possibility that anything like that night could happen again.
But who was I kidding? It was just the certainty that it would not happen that could hurt more.
Enough. I shouldn’t think about it anymore.

I pulled out a pair of low cut jeans and peeked in the drawers in search for a suitable top.
Arianna came over and, without hesitation, she pointed a blue blouse with lace straps.
"Co-ordinated through the eyes of Gabriel," she whispered in my ear.

"What?" I turned suddenly.
She chuckled, pulling out a hanger with dark dress with a generous cleavage and typical belt, and disappeared humming.

"Ari! Where are you going?" back to the court.

"Come on! Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed."

"What?" I asked, playing possum.

She hid her face in her hands in a gesture of exhaustion.

"When you met you are blind as a bat! It is clear from miles away that he has a soft spot for you. The usual lucky," she snorted.

"No way," I denied with decision, "he’s just very kind," I thought back to his big blue eyes and blushed involuntarily.

"Yes, yes, whatever you say," she humoured not at all convinced, putting on her boots.

"And what about you? Who are you all dressed up like that for? "I asked with a mischievous tone.

"Well, you know ..." she blinked and then burst out laughing, "Men of Helsinki, get ready! Here comes the unstoppable and irresitibile Arianna! Even if the best of you are already all taken," she added in a lower voice.

She was incorrigible. When she gets something in her head it was impossible to change her mind.

Suddenly, she appeared behind me as I tried to draw the thin line of eyeliner on my eyelids.

"I almost poked my eye with the pencil!"

"Sorry, sorry. Can I do you pigtails?"

"What?" I asked surprised.

"They're so good! Please," she asked, pulling a few locks.

I gave up, dropping myself on the bed: "Please, darling."

Smiling, she sat behind me and began to comb my ebony hair with her expert hands.

"Don’t pull too hard,” I snorted.

"Stop complaining for a bit," she scolded. "Rather wait to admire the result," she led me to the mirror: I examined my reflection for a long time, pretending to be concentrated, before muttering: "Discreet."

"Liar."

As usual she was right. I had to just admit it? Nope, I thought to myself.
I simply shrugged: "Let's go. You don’t want to arrive later than Luke."

**

"I'm going to get myself a beer," warned Gabriel as the song ended.

"I’ll wait you at the base," he joked.

"As you wish," I smiled effortlessly. It was almost half an hour of non-stop dancing in the circular part of the room and I had to admit, I was really enjoying it.
Ari wasn’t wrong, the boy was almost unreal.

With my Heineken I returned to one of the square black tables where Arianna and other guys were talking cheerfully.

"Hey! The dancer is back," they welcomed me.
I bowed and then sit next to Danny, another of 'our boys', as we used to call them, Ari and me, specifically the band's guitarist.

"How many have you drunk?" Luke asked me, suspiciously, nodding his head at the bottle that I still had in my hand.

"It's the first," I put my hands on it.

"Are you sure?" the singer continued to investigate, frowning.

"Really, really," I promised, as everyone burst out laughing.

I looked around, eyes tracing the hall of the Midnight Wish.
The atmosphere in that place was indefinable: Gothic perhaps, but at the same time very inviting. Special.
The artificial lights tenuously rested on the track in front of the stage and the area littered with tables all the same, but never overly crowded.

No ray of light filtered through the large glass mosaic on the west side. Just to the right of the entrance there was the long counter where the experienced bartender was serving drinks at a dizzying speed and without giving too much attention to the features of customers, or their age, unlike in many other places in Helsinki.

In the north-east of the room was part of the restricted areas: the dressing rooms next to the stage and beyond that a number of private rooms.
In the same area would probably be the stairway to the second floor, a terrace that overlooked the track, in front of the stage, but I had never visited it, is very unique. Or maybe I didn’t remember doing that, I sighed to myself.
The whole area was well guarded: how the hell did I pass?

"Don’t you think so, too, Liz?" Andrea turned to me, strongly emphasizing my name and tearing me from my thoughts.

"Sorry, what?" I asked.

The boy shook his head, snorting: "Always in the clouds, eh?"

"You know, it’s so good there: it's all so soft," I answered promptly, dreamily, "But what were you saying?"

"We talked about guys who sang the karaoke,” said Gabriel. "Some are really good."

I nodded enthusiastically: "Yes, yes, you are right. Much better than some who call themselves professionals," I said with feigned nonchalance, scratching my neck.

"I hope you’re not alluding to anyone in particular," Luke looked at me, tapping his fingers on the table.

"Oh no, of course not," I looked at him with innocent eyes, then looking back towards the stage, smiling under my lips, to listen more carefully to a twenty year old who played with great success 'In lust' of Poisonblack.

"You guys are the symbol of concord," Andrea laughed, followed by the whole group, while Luke left his post.

"But no, what do you mean? I love so much my sweet friend Liz," he said, embracing me from behind. "Excuse me, now I have to do something," he added striding away.

"And now where is he going?" asked Katriina moving away an auburn strand of her hair from her face.
Katriina was a girl not far from thirty who worked in a record company. She had to open the doors to us newcomers in Helsinki: she was cheerful and terribly funny, not to mention that she knew the best shops of dark-goth clothing and more in the city. Needless to say, soon she became our friend, even if we could not really understand that kind of crush that she had on Luke.

"Who knows?"

"When fear of life Keeps crawling in
She wipes it all away
Day turns to night repeats the sin
I'm in lust so let love reign "

Now, the last notes of the song had crossed the room: we all turned to the stage to applaud to the singer, but we were all stunned when suddenly the boy was replaced with a person very well known and recognized by the local public..

"What the fuck is he doing?" Andrew blurted. "He wants to sing without us?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Maybe he wants to try karaoke in an effort to prove something. You know how his mind works, right? He’s completely crazy... "

I was surprised to notice how many people were clapping their hands, greeting him with a loud voice. He sang only a few times as far as I know, but people seemed to have enjoyed it a lot. I was proud of him, but certainly I won’t ever tell him that. His ego was already high up in the sky.

He picked up the microphone and the people on the trail became less noisy. Our group was completely silent and waited for him to start talking, curious about what he had in mind.
"Hey! Guys! I see you are on overload tonight. But I have bad news for you: you will not have the pleasure to listen to my fantastic voice," I shook my head at his usual little modesty. But then for what kind of reason had he gone up on that stage? Only to be seen?
Didn’t have to wait too long to find out. Although it would have been better not to know.

"Do not worry though. There is a friend of mine here tonight that is longing to sing for you. And I assure you that she has a voice, well ... decent ... nothing compared to mine of course, but I'd say that you won’t complain. Is it true Liz?" He turned to look, and before I could connect my neurons and understand what was happening, I was inundated with hundreds of eyes and began to sink slowly in the chair, hoping that a hole would open beneath my feet and suck me in.
But what the hell he had in mind?

"Liz? What are you waiting for?" He asked again, grinning uncontrollably.
I began to feel different pats on the back.

"Go Eli go!" Encouraged me Arianna.

I looked at her shocked: "Are you crazy?"

"You have to go! You are very good at singing and you know it!"

"And then you don’t want to give in to that idiot!" Andrea said, laughing under his lip.

I shook my head. No, no and no!
I had never sung in front of a crowd so large, as well as the one that’s used to listen to professional singers.

"I know that my friend is caught by a moment of shyness," continued Luke. "Let’s give her a little encouragement? Cheer with me: Elisa! Elisa! Elisa!"
I closed my eyes. This was not really happening, right? Please wake me from this nightmare.
Soon the whole room was joined to call my name.

Arianna had to come to my ear to be heard: "You go, my darling. You'll see it will be fine."
I felt someone take my arm and pull me up. I gave in, not resisting.

"Hey! It seems that we have convinced her!" clapped the singer.
Without too much haste I walked up the stairs of the stage, while my "future audience" opened up to let me pass. It was all terribly embarrassing.

When I finally reached my tormentor I looked at him grim.

"Here she is guys! Our Liz. Give her a big round of applause."

I bowed to thank them, as I was passed a microphone. Before facing all those people I went to Luke and hissed: "You’ll pay for this."

"Thank you so much for this welcome. Even that I think I don’t deserve it. I think you'd like to hear a someone more professional as our Luke. So I think I will willingly leave the michrophone."

The dark man shook his head: "No, no dear. I have already repeatedly demonstrated my talent. It’s time to make room for new stars. Want to hear my friend sing?"

I looked pleadingly at people on the floor, but all seemed to agree. All agreed with him.

"Okay, okay. If this is what you want, get ready to be robbed off of all the fans!" I put it head-on.

"Wow! You heard it? Now, she dares to threat "

"Of course. You think I’m scared?” Shit. Great shit. "I think we can start. If you are going to give me a bit of space of course. You know, you and your ego are very cumbersome," the laughter that echoed in the room gave me courage, "I think I'll sing..."

"Hey, hey ... easy ... I 'll be the one to choose the song," he stopped me.

I slammed my eyes more than once. "What?"

"You understood it very well, love. You said you’re not scared," he threw my own phrase back at me.

And there it was the desire to throttle him that was getting bigger.

"Oh agreed. So what do you suggest? "I looked at him defiantly.

Grinning he turned and went to whisper something in ear of the musicians that were on stage to accompany my exhibition.
I saw them nodding, slightly puzzled. And I started to worry seriously.
"Well?" I asked anxiously.
In response Luke waved his hand to his band, to start the first notes.

"Just a coincidence. I see," I shook my head as soon as I recognized the song. Not long before I found myself singing it, but, guess what? I was drunk. And the result was very questionable. And embarrassing.

"Ah-ah ... you’re not thinking to back down, my dear?" Luke knew well what had happened. And now he was having a great time putting me in this trouble. Saying that he was vindictive was an understatement.
I heard the crowd start calling my name, amused by our constant bickering and curious to know how I'll do it.
By now I was screwed. What could I do but take courage and give my best?

"Very well," I smiled, trying to dispel the fear permanently. I'm good. I can make it. And I will stun the idiot "As my friend here knows, I have a special bond with this song," I heard him chuckle behind me. "But he doesn’t know that the dear Liz has done her homework and has become very good at it. And she’ll prove it to him." I announced with confidence, as I heard the cheers go up from the crowd.
I turned to our table, with gratitude. I knew where they were.
I bowed, and added, smiling: "Hey, but I’m not Tarja." The laughter filled the room.

Taking a deep breath I emptied my mind of everything and I turned to the group.
"Ready?" I asked the guitarist. He noded at my decision, then I returned to face "my audience" and smiled at that thought: I have never sung in front of so many people. But there is always a first time right? And that night I could also be a rock star.
While the notes began to make inroads into the room I felt the adrenaline rise. And then I started to sing 'Over the hills and far away'.

"They came for him one winter's night.
Arrested, he was bound.
They said there'd been a robbery,
His pistol had been found. "

I could not resist the urge to turn around to look the singer’s face, who sent me a kiss from afar and began to clap to the rhythm of music with the rest of the room.
I shrugged and started to sing, inviting everybody present to accompany me with their voice during the choruses.

"Over the hills and far away,
for ten long years he'll count the days.
Over the mountains and the seas,
a prisoner's life for him there'll be”

But what was I doing? That holiday was something extraordinary. And I didn’t know that the surprises were not finished yet.
I watched amused Arianna, Gabriel and others, that were approaching the stage screaming and dancing without holding back.

"Each night within his prison cell,
he looks out through the bars.
He reads the letters that she wrote.
One day he'll know the taste of freedom.

Over the hills and far away,
she prays he will return one day.
As sure as the rivers reach the seas,
Back in his arms he swears she'll be.

Over the hills and far away,
he swears he will return one day.
Far from the mountains and the seas,
back in her arms he swears he'll be.

Over the hills and far away,
she prays he will return one day.
As sure as the rivers reach the seas,
Back in his arms is where she'll be.

Over the hills,
over the hills and far away.

Over the hills,
over the hills and far away. "

I lowered the microphone, satisfied. And happy. It had gone well. I had gone so well.
I was to enjoy the applause of those present, thanking each time with a stupid bow and catching my breath and voice.

"Hey congratulations cadet," Luke whispered, arriving from behind and embracing me.

"Oh, I know. What can you do. The class is class," I jokingly boasted.

"The beginner's luck more than anything else."

I backed shooting, sulking, "You're always the same," I pretended to be angry.

"Well, after a single song ..." he began to tease me.

"Let him see!" Yelled someone from the center of the floor.
"Yes. Sing us another song!" "Go Elisa!"

Soon a new choir sang loudly my name.
Taken by the enthusiasm I didn’t let them say it twice.
"It's all yours dear," Luke whispered in my ear, before leaving the stage.

I smiled to myself: I loved it. I love them all. They hadn’t done anything else all evening but trying to bring a smile on my lips and amuse me. And I probably didn’t deserve them. Not a girl selfish and curmudgeons like me.
Luke knew what I liked to sing, but certainly if he hadn’t offered a challenge to me I'd never try it.
"Thanks," I whispered touching his hand.

I chose the song and immediately talked to the group.
Tormenting my long pigtails, placed in front of my shoulders, while taking a deep breath, I spoke again: "I dedicate this to a special person who has managed to give me the same emotions that can inspire me in this song every time when I listen to it, though .. even if this person doesn’t know it," and will never know.

I saw Arianna wink from the front row, pleased.
I almost laughed. Crazy girl. I wonder what she was thinking. No, I think I know: certainly she was already conjecturing my engagement with Gabriel.
But she wasn’t right this time.
I closed my eyes, concentrating on my performance.
I freed myself completely, letting the notes of the song I loved from the beginning to become part of me.

One last thought crossed my mind before I began to give voice to the words; at the end it was so funny or at least strange to dedicate a song to the same person who had written it.

"Memories, sharp as daggers
Pierce into the flesh of today
Suicide of love took away all that matters
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart "

**

While I was engaged on that stage, unknown to my knowledge, five boys made their entrance into the bar through the more secure secondary entrance.
"Hey, I know this song!" Mige said with irony as soon as he set foot in the room first.

"Ville come take a little look," Burton called the band's frontman, who had been a little left behind because of the umpteenth cigarette of that day.

"There's someone who's trying to stole your job..."

"... and with a lot of success, I should add," grinned Gas observing the children in turmoil on the dance floor.

"With the venemous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness "

"Hey Ville, is everything okay?” Linde asked his friend, who was stopped shocked in his tracks, patting him on the shoulder.

"I’m afraid that the dear Ville has noticed that the girl is really good. Even better than him,"continued the drummer.

It was the turn for the other band members to stand with mouths open when the dark man didn’t respond to provocation, but strode off, after excusing himself with quick 'I must do something. See you around '

"But where the hell is he going?" Burton finally asked.

"Let’s hope he doesn’t want to get rid of the competition," laughed Mige.

The Rasta led them toward the stairs, "let's go!"

"But we can think about it a little..." Gas commented stopping at the second step.

"About what?" the bass player asked curiously.

"Swap Ville with that great chick!"

**

It was as if he was with me on that stage.
But the song ended, and with it the magic, too.

Once again Luke returned to accompany me: "Are you always here trying to steal my applause?" I said, shaking my head.

"Actually, I have come to take you out of here, before you start growing roots," he said taking me by the arm.
But that’s when a not too tall boy with a strange tribal tattoo on his neck, who worked behind the scenes came up on the stage.

"Wait honey," he turned to me.

"Yes?" I asked in amazement, wrinkling my nose: I never loved endearing titles coming from unknown people.

"There's a guy back there," he explained pointing somewhere behind him, "that would like to sing a song with you."

I nodded as few locks of raven hair fell on my face: "Of course, if they don’t mind putting up with me for a few more minutes." By then I was high on ego tripping.
Immediately, the boys frowned.

"Well then," I smiled "tell him to come to stage."

"He would really prefer to come out only at the last moment."

"We have a shy guy, eh?" Luke joked with the audience.

The dark man couldn’t suppress a chuckle: "Well, let's say so," he behaved in a strange way, as if he was hiding something "Then you accept it anyway?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Okay. What’s the song?"

"Since you sang a song of HIM, the guy asked if you know the remake of Summer Wine, which their singer recorded with Natalia Avelon, not so long ago. Although it is a bit sui generis."

I made a strange grimace, trying not to laugh, thinking back to my and Arianna’s duet in front of the mirror, poking fun at ther German actress that we wanted to kill (at the time I considered she had had very much luck, in fact I didn’t know the same would happen to me few months later) as I tried to imitate Ville’s deep voice.
The boy looked at me for a while confused.

"Yes, yes, I know," I hastened a reply. I just had to change the roles, but it certainly wasn’t a problem.

"Good, then you start when the music start and don’t worry when the singer will come," he assured me.

"Okay," I said just scratching the tip of my nose.

"So I leave you again. Behave yourself," my friend warned me.
Stucking my tongue at him, I assumed the position in the middle of the stage for the third time waiting for the band to start.

But something happened that I didn’t expect: the room suddenly became dark, while a faint glow lit around the stage.
Suddenly the silence fell on everyone, broken only by a few murmurs of astonishment.
It was all so strange. No amateur performance had ever received such treatment.
I began to feel quite uncomfortable. It all seemed more serious now.

But immediately I felt stupid: what had changed anyway? I just had to sing like I did before. Indeed, with not being able to see all those people I could completely let go.

"Ready?" someone behind my back asked.

"As always."

After those two short introductory notes I began to sing with a soothing voice, proceeding slowly across the stage. I felt very stupid. But what mattered in the end?

"Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things " [i/]

I smiled amused and, continuing to dance, I turned around waiting for my partner.

"I walked in town on silver spurs that jingled too
A song that I had only sang to just a few ... "
  
The voice came before the person. But that was just enough. Perfect. Too perfect.
The crowd began to scream louder. The girls in particular were the louder ones.
As for me I felt the smile die on my lips and my muscles tense up, while my heart began to beat faster.
Until, Ville Valo was just a few steps away, very close to me, singing in a way so incredibly sexy and looking into my eyes.

"... She saw my silver spurs and said let pass some time
And I will give to you summer wine ... "

Well, at that point I think my poor heart skipped a beat. Or maybe two.

"... Oohh-oh summer wine"