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Save Yourself Before You Fall, These Things You're Doing, They're so Wrong.
Fourteen
HE WANTS TO KILL HIMSELF.
I sat in bed, waiting for Ashley to come. I needed him to be okay. I needed to talk to him. He's my everything! Doesn't he get that? Why the fuck doesn't he get that? He can't die! Not now! I needed him to hurry up and be here. I miss him and I need him. He needs help. Ash kept telling me how much I needed help, and he won't go for him getting help. Where is he?
After a half an hour of waiting, Ash came in. He looked awful! He had dark circles around his eyes, which no longer showed any light. He looked like he'd been crying and drinking. "Ashley.." I said, softly. He looked at me.
"What?"
"What happened to you?"
"Fuck that." I bit my lip softly, going out on a limb as I said, "You need help, Ash.."
"No." He stated. I sighed and nodded. He would need a lot of convincing before he actually gets help.
"Baby, I want you to be okay."
"'M fine enough, Andy."
"No you aren't, Ashley. You aren't okay.." I sighed sadly. I wanted him to be okay more than anything. "Why?"
"S'all my fault."
"NO. Ash, this is MY fault! I'm the one who stopped eating!" He looked up and sighed. Why can't he just believe that it's my fault and not his?
"It's not your fault, Andy."
"Yes it fucking is. So pull up your big girl panties and deal with blaming me. Stop drinking until you pass out, Ashley. Can't you see that it's hurting me?" Tears pricked at my eyes. "I think you should go." I pointed at the door and Ash stumbled out of it.
I curled up in a ball and cried for awhile before anyone even bothered to show up.
CC's Point of View
"Andy..?" I noticed that he was just sitting and crying on the bed. I felt bad for him, really, I did. I sat beside him and hugged him close. I knew I wasn't too good of a brother to him, we barely talked. I felt terrible for not talking very much, so I decided that I would be there for him now. He sobbed softly into my chest.
Why can't he just be okay?
***
I sat in bed, waiting for Ashley to come. I needed him to be okay. I needed to talk to him. He's my everything! Doesn't he get that? Why the fuck doesn't he get that? He can't die! Not now! I needed him to hurry up and be here. I miss him and I need him. He needs help. Ash kept telling me how much I needed help, and he won't go for him getting help. Where is he?
After a half an hour of waiting, Ash came in. He looked awful! He had dark circles around his eyes, which no longer showed any light. He looked like he'd been crying and drinking. "Ashley.." I said, softly. He looked at me.
"What?"
"What happened to you?"
"Fuck that." I bit my lip softly, going out on a limb as I said, "You need help, Ash.."
"No." He stated. I sighed and nodded. He would need a lot of convincing before he actually gets help.
"Baby, I want you to be okay."
"'M fine enough, Andy."
"No you aren't, Ashley. You aren't okay.." I sighed sadly. I wanted him to be okay more than anything. "Why?"
"S'all my fault."
"NO. Ash, this is MY fault! I'm the one who stopped eating!" He looked up and sighed. Why can't he just believe that it's my fault and not his?
"It's not your fault, Andy."
"Yes it fucking is. So pull up your big girl panties and deal with blaming me. Stop drinking until you pass out, Ashley. Can't you see that it's hurting me?" Tears pricked at my eyes. "I think you should go." I pointed at the door and Ash stumbled out of it.
I curled up in a ball and cried for awhile before anyone even bothered to show up.
CC's Point of View
"Andy..?" I noticed that he was just sitting and crying on the bed. I felt bad for him, really, I did. I sat beside him and hugged him close. I knew I wasn't too good of a brother to him, we barely talked. I felt terrible for not talking very much, so I decided that I would be there for him now. He sobbed softly into my chest.
***
Why can't he just be okay?
♠ ♠ ♠
sorry it's taking so long.i'm so terrible at this.
FORGIVE ME?
x.
Jessica