When You're Feeling Empty, Keep Me in Your Memory

I laid in bed for the next couple of days. I didn't want to be bothered. That was until I got inspired to write a song. I grabbed my guitar and starting making a melody that was stuck in my head since Todd left me high and dry. I tried to write it down as fast as I thought of it, but it wasn't working. I tried to slow down my brain but it wouldn't have it. I eventually got the music down and started on the lyrics.

"His eyes were perfect,
But they hid a lie.
His smile was captivating,
But it held a lie.
He was everything I ever wanted,
But he held a lie close to his heart.
And with that lie,
He shot me down.

He was perfect to me
He was everything I wanted
He cut me down
But I loved it.

He never loved me (for me)
But I know he does
He never wanted me (for me)
But I knew he did
He never cared for me (for me)
But I wanted him to.

He was perfect to me
He was everything I wanted
He cut me down
But I love it.

When that day came
I was heartbroken
Lost and confused
He cut me down.

He was perfect for me
He was everything I wanted
He cut me down
But I love him."

That's when I break down. I sobbed like I never had before. I've never cried over a guy. I've never grown attach to seeing someone's face everyday. And I did see him everyday. We didn't just fuck all the time, well I mean we did, but we talked also. About everything. He was like a diary. I could tell him almost anything. But now. Now he's out of my life. I didn't know how to live.

After writing that song I was dead tired. I cried through out the whole thing. So I took a nap. This nap took half my day away. I was exhasted. When I awoke, it was already night time. A look at the clock told me it was 8. Dinner had already been made, eatten, and cleaned up. I walked downstairs to see Jimmy sitting at the dinner table on the phone.

"Please I'm sorry. " He whispered. I looked at him and went into the fridge to find something alcoholic. When I found a bottle of jack daniel that I knew with Jimmy's I took it out and grabbed a bottle of coke and a glass. I walked out back to the deck. Jimmy looked up at me and then sighed. "Aryn I gotta call you back. My sister's finally up... Okay bye." He said hanging up.

"Don't make me stop you from talking to your girl. I'll just be on my way." I said sitting out back. I started to make myself a drink and stare out.

"Jayne you can't do this to yourself. It's just one guy."

I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Yes, but I actually cared about him Jimmy. Do you know how much that means in my world. A LOT!" He looked taken back before sighing and hugging me. For the rest of the night we just drank and talked. I think we came to understanding.