Early Mourning

"I can't believe you! After everything I've done for you! Julian I fucking give you clothes! I put a roof over your head and food on the table!" I yelled, kicking over the coffee table in the living room.

I screamed in anger and knocked all of the photography he had done off the wall. I watched as the picture frames cracked and the glass shattered. Julian just cowered against the couch trying to sink into the couch cushions. I growled at him and slapped him across the face, leaving a bright red mark.

The moment I saw his eyes, I felt like dying. The way they watered up and his bottom lip trembled. The look of pain and small whimpers escaping his lips....

I quickly shoved the monster in me to the deepest part of my mind and crouched before him, caressing his face in my hands. I felt tears swell in my eyes and easily begin to fall down my cheek.

What had I done? Why did I do it?

"I'm sorry" I whispered to him my voice cracking. I kissed all over his face, his cheeks, his chin, his nose his forehead. I choked out a sob and pulled him into an embrace.

Julian slowly snaked his arms around me and I leaned back, my hands rubbing his back.

"I'm so sorry" I repeated to him every few seconds. I trailed kisses across his face, being so gentle over the red area I had created.

"Julian" I cried. How could I fucking hurt him like this. I buried my head into his hair, feeling his hands begin to play with my own locks, he knew how much it calmed me down.

My own hands began to run up and down his sides, trying to soothe him.

"Sleep" he whispered as I closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes, looking up into an unfamiliar ceiling. It was a pale yellow, my Mickey Mouse fan no where in sight. I stiffly turned my head to the side, recognizing the boy from earlier. We both just stared at each other, his hair reaching to his shoulders. He wore a white muscle shirt and pink skinny jeans, a rainbow bow placed on his head. He grinned at me, his pearly whites shinning.

"Oh my god! You know when you're asleep you look so much less intimidating," he squealed and stood up. "If Larson didn't have his eyes on you, then I would totally tap that" Enrique grabbed the cup of water beside him and walked out of the room, letting the door close slowly behind him.

I heard people chatter outside in the cafe, as well as Enrique yelling at what I assumed was Larson about me being awake. I closed my eyes and rolled over so I wasn't facing the door.

I feel so cold. The ice slices me to the core and not even the warmest drink ,nor thickest blanket could rid me of this feeling.

I am a Monster.