We Can Make This Last

First day off… Pomona Fairplex in Pomona, California. June 26, 2009.

Shit was all set up. I sat behind the Escape the Fate merchandise stand. This was fucking epic. I was so excited. I had met a few other bands, even. I met Cassadee and Jersey from the band Hey Monday, Matt and Nate from Madina Lake, all five from Family Force 5, Hayley Williams from Paramore, the guys from Simple Plan… I wanted to cry. It was an honor… and I’m guessing I’d meet others on this tour.

Escape the Fate seemed flustered when we arrived and I didn’t know why. I’d ask later, I guess. I saw Jess at the BVB merchstand wave at me. I waved back. I jumped up and down with excitement and I saw the people come in.

Warped Tour had begun, the gates opening at 11 AM and everyone running in with excitement.

---

As the day progressed, I was dying of heat and decided to get my lip pierced (spiderbites) quickly and I had Matt Good watch the stand, which was hilarious. His band wasn’t playing yet. I came back and he approved at my piercing. Escape the Fate played more towards the end so the band often visited and acted absolutely ludicrous with their fans, and there was one specific hour where they did a signing. People had started lining up two hours before! I was in shock at the mosh pits. How nuts.

“I like you. Yeah.” Max said. “But I hate your friend.” The small crowd that formed around the stand laughed and Max shrugged. What an ass. “I’m sorry, come here,” He grabbed the girl’s face and kissed her cheek. “Mwua, come again! Ok, who wants to smoke with me right now?!”

I didn’t know he—
Or maybe he did and I just didn’t realize it?

Craig was more courteous and talked to fans. Robert and Monte, also, but a smidge quieter. The security was obnoxious, though, I had to say, because they tried to move the signing along very quickly which pissed off the band. Craig had actually told the security guard to chill out at one point while he was talking to a fan.

The day went on and a band came on at the Advant Stage right across from our tent I liked them a lot. I jumped up and down, handing fans their merch and taking their money and receiving some interesting looks from me. I giggled and headbanged a bit to this band.

“What are you doing, woman?!” I heard Max yell. I stopped and some kids yelled, “Max!” He came to me, though and shook his head at me. “Ohhh you disappoint me.”

“What did I do?!” I asked, shocked.

He looked around and found Sandra walking around. “Sandra! Watch over the stand?” She nodded and her little body hopped over as Max took me away by my wrist and behind the stand where no one really seemed to be passing by. He sat down and I did, too.

“What’s up?” I asked.

He softly smiled. “Okay, okay…” He sighed. “Have you ever, um…” He shrugged. “Found someone else?” I pouted softly and shook my head solemnly. He furrowed his forehead in thought. “So… have you ever…?” He inclined his head towards me, and I got what he meant. I shook my head again and his right hand flew to his mouth, covering it up and he looked off at the fence. “Oh my God.”

“Is that a shock?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah!” He exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow at him. I darkened my eyebrows a little now. “Oh, spiderbites? You just get ‘em done? I like ‘em.”

“Yeah, I did. Max, in case you haven’t noticed, my look now is a bit different than how I used to look like a bit over a month ago. And back then and on, I had no chance in getting a boyfriend… and I didn’t try, either…”

“Even then you were beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful.”

I softly smiled. “You’re the only person in the whole world who thinks so.” My voice was soft as I said it, but I knew he had heard me. He looked so sadly at me and hugged me. I hugged him back and loosened myself, kind of falling into his hug. I shut my eyes for a second or two before letting go of him.

“I guarantee you that everyone out there thinks you’re beautiful, and anyone who says no is obviously blinded by it.” My mouth was slightly open at the shock of his words. It’s funny how Max has two sides. I’ve seen them today—his side when it’s just me and some friends and the side when it’s rockstar world. He looked at his watch and stood up.

“I should get back…” I said, looking up at him. “Andy’s probably dying.” He laughed and stood me up. I walked off from him and was caught by my wrist gently by him. I turned around and he hugged me again.

“I still love you,” He whispered. My eyes shot open and I backed away from him with a slight smile… and I couldn’t believe he had just said that. It made my heart flutter… beating against my chest without a pause… going berserk… I felt shaky and my face warm as he flashed me that smile of his that always even now drove me crazy… I walked back to the merch tent but stole a look at the nearby stage… whatever this band is was really amazing.

Listen up ‘cause this is not the end.
You’re last thing to cross my mind.
Relationships are based on trust,
Well I guess this one was based on lies…

I looked at the singer and smiled softly. He looked familiar. Maybe I’ve seen him before in a magazine or something. I bobbed my head softly and then looked back at Max… who was also looking at the band on stage but looked angrily at them.

“Shut up, Max, they’re good!” I yelled at him, laughing. He looked appalled at me and I shrugged it off, running back to the stand and taking over from Sandra. She signed someone’s phone and skipped off. I kept working diligently and smiled at Andy, who was walking with Nicholas from Get Scared. They both waved and ran up to me in excitement.

“Sup?” Andy asked.

“Why’re you asking me? You’re the one that knows that answer all the time.” I said. Andy rolled his eyes at me but smiled. It was true. Back then, when I’d say, “What’s up?” he’d say, “Silly Tay, the sky.” The sky was growing a bit darker now and the last few bands were coming on. Escape the Fate was the last one. I suddenly found among the crowd of people the singer from that band that was really good.

“HEY!” I yelled, handing out still more merch to people. The guy stopped and looked at me, pointing at himself. I nodded. He walked over and some of the fans that were at my stand yelled out “Ronnie!” at him. I guess they knew him.

“Hi,” He said. “Escape the Fate’s merchgirl, huh?”

“Yep! Oh, but I just wanted to say how awesome your band is. It was so entertaining. Loved it all.” I handed a kid his shirt and the singer next to me smiled.

“Well, thank you. I’m Ronnie.” He outstretched his hand for me to take, which I did, and we shook hands.

“Taylor,”

He stared at me and tilted his head, studying me. I raised an eyebrow at him. “Um,” I said softly, taking someone’s money and giving her and her friend two tshirts. “Hey, Ronnie, wanna—”

“Taylor!” I heard, and looked to my left. Craig and Robert trudged over to me and I blinked at them, smiling and waving. Craig looked dangerously at me and Robert looked neutral, but I bet if he ever changed his facial expressions, it’d look something similar to Craig’s. The fans in front of me all started freaking, I’m guessing, and Craig took hold of my arm softly.

“We need to talk. Robert, take over for a bit.” Craig said through gritted teeth. I nodded and looked behind me as Craig pulled me away gently.

“Nice meeting you, Ronnie!” I said. He was frowning but smiled quickly, waving, and I looked back at Craig who pulled me off where Max had taken me before. What is the big deal? Really? Like, how rude to interrupt someone while they’re talking to someone else like that. Obviously I need to get them a book that’s called Manners for Dummies.

“Do you know who that is?” He asked.

“Ronnie?” I asked.

He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay… um…” He laughed softly. “Max, think of Max… you know he was in Escape the Fate… you know I’m not the original singer of the band… who was the original singer?”

“Ronnie Rad—OHHHHHHHHH!” I yelled, pointing at Craig, getting the point. He nodded slowly, smiling slightly at the fact that I was getting it. “What’s the big deal?” I asked. I don’t get it. Craig’s eyes softly widened at me.

“Oh. My. God.” Craig said, looking at me again in a strange way. “You really—you don’t know?”

“What am I missing?” I asked. I looked behind me in hope to see Ronnie. He was such a great guy, like a brother to me back then. I missed him! I’m psyched that he’s here! I need to go see him again. I hope he remembers me! We could be like how we were back then... I can’t believe the old friends I’m meeting… it’s so overwhelmingly amazing… and the new friends, too… Craig sighed though and gave me a sad smile.

“Obviously a lot,” Craig said, sighing. “Don’t tell Max you were talking to Ronnie.”

“But why?”

“Just don’t.”

“Well, last I remembered, they were—”

“Times change, people change. I’m serious, Taylor.” I smiled at this guy, nodding. “I’ll tell you later, or maybe Max will, or if you have the balls to talk to Ronnie again and risk Max finding out, then maybe Ronnie will tell you himself… but Escape the Fate and Ronnie Radke, let’s just say, are kind of not on good terms right now.” I furrowed my forehead in confusion. What had happened?

“Um, okay… I guess.” We parted ways again. Robert walked off when I resumed my job. Some kids chased him. I smiled. This was fun.

---

I was listening to A Skylit Drive on my iPod with one headphone in and the other out when I saw my two favorite people coming towards me. “What a good first day,” Max said, finding me leaning against the bus. Andy followed him. They both killed me in a tight hug which I returned with difficulty. I really need some alcohol, though. I’m surprised the band hasn’t done anything stupid yet to kick off Warped. Typically they would have, right?

“Go take a nap,” I mumbled, smirking and taking one of my headphones out.

“Get lost,” Andy shot back.

“Get drunk is what I wanna get,” Max muttered, leaning against the bus with me. Andy did the same on my other side. We slid down onto the floor simultaneously. We stayed there in silence with the soft sound of my music in my headphones. Andy looked over at me and took my iPod.

“Let’s see what you’re listening too…”

“Those Cannons Could Sink a Ship,” I said.

“No one blasted cannons from their pants, Tay,” Max said, yawning. “You’re hearing things,”

“That’s the song’s name she’s listening to, idiot,” I said. Andy smirked. Max looked over and leaned to see the iPod with Andy. “And it said nothing about pants.”

“A Skylit Drive?” He asked.

“Indeed,”

“Why not Escape the Fate?” Max asked, sounding appalled.

“Or Black Veil Brides?” Andy said, sounding hurt.

“I heard they’re really good bands, you know. Might wanna check them out…” Max said. I laughed softly.

Shockingly, the stars were shining quite bright. It made me smile. I looked at Andy and Max, smiling even wider. They both had mirrored suspicious expressions on their faces. I started to sing ever so loudly; “WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STARRRRRRRRRRRR!”

“TAYLOR!” They both yelled, half laughing and covering my mouth. I still sang even with their palms’ pressure. “MAAA NOORRR DFFRNNNSSS WHOOOO YOUUUUU RRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!”

“We’re too old for that!” Max said. I slapped their hands away.

“You’re no fun…” Damn. I wish we were younger. I guess they did change. Someone walked by us, then, and I noticed it was Ronnie. I smiled, excited again to see my old friend. Maybe he’d remember me if I told him it was me, but then I remembered Max was here next to me, and Craig saying to not tell Max I had talked to him earlier. He stood in front of us and I felt beside me Max tensed up a bit.

“Hi, Taylor.” He said.

Why’d he have to do that? What is happening? Is he doing that to just piss Max off? Max turned his face to look at me.

“You talked to him?” He asked angrily.

“Yup. She did, and she also said my band was great.”

“Yeah I could have figured that out on my own when she was enjoying the music and shit.” Max muttered.

“I’m right here.” I said. I looked at Andy now who looked at us like a ping pong match. That was no help. I bit my lip and then let out a sigh. “Look, I’m just going to go in the bus. If you guys wanna… I dunno, pick a fight or whatever, and especially since I don’t even know what happened, please leave me out of it. I’m sorry I talked to Ronnie, it shouldn’t be your problem I talked to him.” I said, telling the last thing to Max. He looked away from me, then. I sighed and stood up, walking into the bus and almost shut the door when I heard something I did not like.

“So, she grew up. She’s very pretty. Are you going to give it another try with her or fuck her and then leave her, man?” That’s what Ronnie said. I heard movement, and I turned around, standing on the steps. Andy was holding Max back. “Or, another thing you might do is fuck her up completely, because all know you’re so good at doing the last two.”

Was he really good at doing that…? Or was Ronnie just saying that? Max wouldn’t do that to me, anyways. I know he wouldn’t. At least, I think he wouldn’t. Then, he started naming girl names… like, random ones. “Remember Scarlett, Lexie, Natalie…” and my eyes widened. Ronnie then looked up at me and shrugged. I don’t know what I was feeling, to be truthful, but each name was a slap in the face. Eventually, though, someone else came over, and told Ronnie he had to go back to their bus. Ronnie looked at me and said, “Goodnight, Taylor, it was really great seeing you again.”

“Don’t fucking talk to her.” Max growled. Ronnie smirked and walked off. Andy finally let go of Max. They both looked at me standing on the steps of the bus. I looked about ready to cry a bit, but once again, I don’t cry. “Tay,” he said, walking up to me.

“I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” I said. He nodded and still kissed my forehead. Andy walked up to me and I hugged him tightly. He hugged me back just as tight. It was so comforting. I whimpered when we pulled away and he started walking off.

“What’s up?” Andy asked, looking at me still when he was on the ground. I need best friend time… so bad…

“Can we hang out tomorrow? Like. Can we?” I asked. He crookedly smiled, but it was a sad one.

“Definitely. I’m looking forward to it.” I smiled a little. He said, “Night, guys.” And walked off to wherever his bus was. I bit my lip and walked into the bus and saw Craig, Robert and Monte looking at me with sad faces (but I’m guessing Robert’s was sad because you could never fucking tell with his constant pokerface) Craig ended up giving me a hug, which made Monte give me a hug, and then Robert decided to because it was a trend. I thanked them and saw Max on his bunk with his head in his hands, and when I walked past him to my little room, he looked up.

“Sorry he did that,” He said.

“It’s whatever, Max.” I said, shrugging, and going into my room, shutting the door and putting my iPod on to sleep with, starting with Abandon All Ships’ Family Goretrait. How funny was it? Maybe Max never did love me. Maybe he regretted everything we had and that was why… I mean… all the girls… and he had probably forgotten about me at a time… maybe he’s lying to me even now…

Do you ever go home
to a place where you
don't belong.

Where the feeling of neglect
can be oh so strong

Where everything
you try to say
or do is always
fucking wrong.

When everything around you is a sad
sad sad song.

I did not chose to be here
I know I'm your regret
I'll paint your blackened walls clear
So you'll never
Forget

So dance with me
on these broken dreams
If only
(If only)
These walls could
Scream

(Chose to be here)
I did not chose to be here
and I know I'm your regret
But I'll paint your blackened walls clear
So you never Forget
So you never

(together) Forget

The broken promises, this is now our fate
Not knowing why you're given power to create

When broken is the only word in which you can relate

When everything you love
Became the only thing
You hate

So come on go and dance with me on these broken dream
If only
If only these walls could scream

I did not chose to be here
And I know I'm your regret
But I'll paint your blackened walls clear
So you'll never forget
So you'll never forget

(*Ahem*)
I wanna see you all
BURN.

And I ended up falling asleep to this quite relatable song that was pretty fucking accurate right now. Story of my life. Tomorrow’s a new day. I hope everything is okay. Band drama is obviously not pretty at all.