Just a Girl

I was in Spanish the following Monday, going over my vocabulary list before our test. Zeke came in and took the seat next to me. But I couldn’t shoo him. Nope. We had a full class, so that was the only available seat.

“Hi.” He greeted.

I said nothing. He had no idea what he was talking about when he said Rob would use me and dump me. We’d been going out for two months now. I discretely lifted up my sleeve away from my left hand, pretending to scratch my arm. Zeke noticed this and glanced down slightly, noticing my ring.

“You’re getting married?” A questioned loudly. “To a guy who is a bad influence on you.” I assumed he was talking about my new lip ring.

“Look Zeke, my relationship is none of your business.” I said, breaking my silent streak.

“Fine.” He whispered. “I don’t even care anymore. Why should I?” He asked rhetorically. “Have fun with your new boyfriend. But don’t come crying to me when he breaks your little naïve heart.” No matter how much I thought I hated Zeke right now, those words broke my heart as soon as they floated away from his mouth and into my ear.

I tried to think of a response, but any chance of one died on my tongue before I could get it out. I kept silent, pretending to look over my vocabulary list intently even though there was no I was going to concentrate now. I’d lost my train of thought as soon as I’d lost my best friend.

“Alright, clear off your desk. Nothing but a pencil. You can start your test as soon as you get it, and absolutely no talking, or you get a zero.” Señora Salas announced, instantly gaining my attention.

My stomach dropped when she placed the test in front of me and my mind went blank.

***

“How was your day?” Rob asked as I slipped into his car, snapping my seatbelt into place before throwing my backpack into the back seat.

I let a low groan slip from my lips, showing my distaste for today.

“What happened?” He asked, turning to me and arching a n eyebrow.

“Well…,” I said, averting my gaze down to my clasped hands in my lap. I then launched into the whole story, starting the night I met him, all the way to what happened in Spanish today.

I looked back up at him to see his pitying face. All the things that had happened in the last couple of months were slowly breaking me down. And though I was trying to be strong, now I was nothing but a pile of mush, crying the passenger seat of a car.

“Don’t cry.” Rob pleaded quietly. “I love your smile so much more.” He added, pushing my bangs away from my face.

“I’m sorry.” I choked out, wiping my tears and smearing my make up. I was so disappointed that I let myself cry in front of Rob twice in the same week. He probably thought I was emotionally unstable.

“Don’t be sorry.” He sighed. “Come here.” He said, reaching his arms out to me in a comforting manor. He pulled me over into his lap. I laid my head on his shoulder and he held me closer, running his fingers through my dirty blonde hair.

My make up stained tears dripped off my face and onto his t-shirt as I curled into him. I couldn’t help but think of how much I loved the comfort of his arms.

“Just let it out.” He whispered. “Don’t hold it in. That doesn’t get you anywhere.” He whispered to me, the feeling of his hot breath at my ear sent tingles down my spine.

“Well it gets you somewhere. But it’s not a good place.” I chuckled a bit after I had suppressed my crying. “I know it.” I fully lifted up my sleeve to reveal the scars all the way up my arm from the numerous times I’d taken a razor to it. Rob was the first person I’d shown since I’d done it. And the only person I’d told since my brother.

It wasn’t long before the tears started up again. I pressed my face into Rob’s neck, letting myself fall apart. If he couldn’t handle this, he would’ve left by now. And at this point, I didn’t really care. I just felt numb. Like a 1,000 pound weight had been dropped on me, crushing every bone in my body, and now I was just laying there, on the brink of death.

“Cara.” Rob breathed into my hair. “I think I’m in love with you.” He admitted.

“Good, because I think I’m in love with you too.” I answered, smiling through my tears.

“Marry me?” He asked.