Fall Out Girl

Fuck. I fucked fucking Peter Lewis Kinston Wentz the fucking Third. I looked over at his naked form completely tangled in my own. Guilt rushed through me as I thought of Nick. Then I remembered what my father said to me that night- that I would be nothing more than a slut and a whore.

“Hey, you, what did I say about crying?” He mumbled, kissing away the lone tear trailing down my cheek. “I don’t deserve your tears.”

I just closed my eyes and scooted out of his grip. “I’m sorry.” I said after I stood up. “Can you please leave?”

He sat up on my bed and squinted his eyes. “Emmy, I don’t regret it.”

“But I do. I have a boyfriend, Pete. A boyfriend that I love dearly. Ok? Just…leave.”

He got out of bed and stood up, not even bothering to cover himself up. “Do you really? Do you really love him? ‘Cause the Emmy I knew is scared shitless of that word.”

“The Emmy you knew is dead. She died when she boarded that plane. She’s the one who got raped…not me…”

His entire face softened. “Emmy…”

“No,” I grabbed his pants and threw it at him. “Take your shit and leave. You ruin everything I try build.”

“Fine. But he’ll never be as good to you as I am.”

“No, you’re wrong. He’s better. You’re only good to me because you know exactly how to get something out of me. You better cover that up before it gets any smaller.” I added heatedly, grabbing a towel and covering my body before I walked to the bathroom.

I took the longest shower of my life. I scrubbed every inch of me until my skin turned red from irritation. No matter what, I could still smell him on me and it disgusted me to no end. After I showered and changed, I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. There weren’t any cars in the driveway, so I walked to the bus station. I hopped the next one and rode all the way to where Nick lived. Confidently, I walked up the steps and knocked on his door. There were a few shouts from inside before the door opened.

“Emmy? What’s wrong?” He asked me.

“I decided that I missed you too much and that I had to see you.” I replied with a semi-forced smile.

His smile fell and he closed the door behind him. He took me over to the nearby porch swing. “Did something happen with Pat?”

“No. Please don’t spoil this. I just want to be happy. Can we just be happy?”

“Ok, but you’ll have to tell me eventually.”

“Of course.” I lied before pushing my lips against his. I had to feel something. I felt hollow inside and I needed to be filled with some kind of emotion.

He broke the kiss with a peck on my lips. “I’m sorry for bringing that up. I’m happy to see you, too. Want to rescue me?”

I cocked my head. “How?”

He hugged me and muttered into my neck.

“What was that?”

He moved his head so that he was muttering into my ear.

I smirked at him. “I still can’t understand you.”

“Meet my family? I need to get the attention off of me.” He muttered into my ear.

I pushed him back a little so that I could see his face. “Of course, Nick. Why were you so embarrassed?”

“God, I love you!” he said, fusing our lips together again.

I smiled into the kiss. I don’t know what Pete was talking about.

“Ok, so they’re probably wondering if I ran away. C’mon, let’s get this over with.” I took his hand and he led me inside.

I was surprised when I met his family. They were normal…well, as normal as rich people can be. They were really nice to me and didn’t pass judgment because of my attire. We got “are you two getting married any time soon” a little too much for my comfort, but Nick would always dodge it. I guess he got the same question every time he brought home a girl. I just smiled politely and nodded, talking only when I specifically had a question directed to me.

By the end of the day, I was so tired that I fell asleep during the movie we were watching with “the children.”

I woke up to him nuzzling in my neck. “Morning, Princess.” He greeted, planting a kiss on my lips. “You’re beautiful as always."

“Mhm, you too. What time is it?”

“Nine-thirty. Time for you to get up. your brother called me last night after you passed out on me.”

I grumbled and buried my head into his pillow. I loved his scent.

“Nuh-uh, you’re not getting away that easily.” He grabbed my shoulder and gently turned me over so that I was facing him. “I told him that I would take you home, so get up.”

Grudgingly, I complied and allowed me to half-carry me down the stairs and into the kitchen. He made me a ham and cheese omlette with French toast. It was delicious. “Mmm, my man can cook!” I said after finishing. He grinned and kissed me.

“Glad to know I could be of some service.” I smiled, grabbing my empty plate and putting it in the seat. “Ok, time for you to go.”

I didn’t want to, but Nick was…forceful…in a very mean and cunning way. I swear, that boy can put me into overdrive by just one look. I got my revenge by teasing him the entire drive back to my house. He clenched his jaw and squirmed under my touch. Once, he even swatted away my hand, but I came back twice as hard.

“Emmy, that was not nice.” He said once he parked in my driveway.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t do anything. I’m innocent.” I said innocently, leaning my back against the window.

“You call a forty-minute tease session nothing!” his voice went up an octave.

I slid over to him and nibbled on his earlobe. “I could have made you lose all your cool if you would’ve rather that happened instead” I whispered in his ear.

He pushed me back. “Nope, I’m good, thank you for asking.”

I smirked at him as he looked ahead.

“Shit, did you know they were there?” I looked over to where he was looking. Sure enough, Kay and Fall Out Boy were looking right out of the bay window in the living room.

“Nope. I’ll see you Saturday, ok?” I kissed him affectionately before pulling away. “I love you.”

He gave me a questioning look and grabbed my face. “Something’s different. Your eyes aren’t convincing me.”

“Nick?”

“What happened, Emmy?”

“Nothing. I swear. You’re scaring me.”

He shook his head and dropped his hands. “I’m sorry, but say it again. Say it like you mean it.”

“Nick, I love you. I really do.”

He shook his head. “You’re in love with someone, but it’s not me. I’ll pick you up Saturday at 7pm. Be ready.”

“Wait…are you breaking up with me?”

He wouldn’t look at me. “Yes, but I’ll always be here if your heart changes.”

I was surprised at the amount of pain I didn’t feel. “Ok. See you Saturday.” I opened the doors and wiped my eyes. If anything, he scared me more than anything. I had never heard him so serious.

“Emz, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Kay.” I replied, walking up the steps. I walked into my room and noticed that my sheets had changed. I looked behind me to see him.

“I changed the sheets. Are you , okay?”

“No. you ruin everything. Stay the hell away from me.” I spat before slamming the door in his face and locking it.

I'm not insane. I'm not insane...but what I am is really not okay...

I spent Thanksgiving with Joe and his family. I don’t think I could have survived in the same room with Pete. It was for the best. Nick picked me up on Saturday and we were, once again, talking like old friends. It was a little weird at first, but I quickly got used to it. About four days after I got back from break, Pete sent me an e-mail. I had been ignoring him up until then.

I guess it’s time to face the music. Bang the Doldrum, there’s going to be a funeral march soon.