Four Years

Rachel's POV

April 15th, 2009. Dallas, TX.

My heart beat along to the beat of the loud dance music that was being blasted in the club. I glanced up at the DJ booth and smiled as I saw Pete dancing along to the music. What a dork.

Jack came up from behind me and placed his hands on my hips. I smirked and turned around, beginning to dance with him. I placed my arm around his neck and brought myself closer to him.

He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "You look so beautiful. Wanna get outta here?"

It must've been the alcohol in my system because I ended up nodding my head yes. It also must've been because I really wanted sex. Pete was gonna be DJ'ing all night. Jack was free. I got what I wanted, when I wanted it.

God, I was such a fucking whore.

I made sure no one saw us as we left the club. We stumbled out onto the street and made our way to the buses. Jack held onto my hand tightly as we ran across the street to the parking lot where his bus was parked.

As soon as we got on the bus, our lips crashed together.

I was gonna have two things tomorrow morning - a raging headache, and an overwhelming feeling of regret.

***

April 16th, 2009. Dallas, TX.

"Rae? Rae, baby, wake up," Pete cooed, shaking me softly. Even though he was speaking softly and rocking me softly, I felt like he was shouting. I felt like my body was about to explode.

"Pete, go the fuck away," I groaned, pulling the covers up over my head and burying myself deeper in the bunk. I couldn't go any further because of the fucking wall.

"Fine, bitch," He muttered, closing the curtain and letting me sleep more.

I snuggled deeper in the pillows and tried to get comfortable again. It was working fine until my phone began buzzing under my pillow. I groaned and pulled it out, pressing it to my ear, "What?"

"Well, hello, sunshine," Jack's cheery voice sang on the other end.

"What do you want?" I asked, growing more and more annoyed by the second.

"You," He answered, probably smirking.

"Yeah, okay, goodbye," I muttered, hanging up on him before he could get another word out.

I felt the bus come to a stop. God dammit. We were at the hotel, which meant Pete would open that curtain and let the damn light shine in on me and myself hungover self. And I would growl and smack him with the pillow. And he'd leave and call me a bitch, then go get a paintball gun and shoot me and just make me even more angry at the world than I already am.

Yes, part of this anger at the world was at myself for sleeping with Jack last night. While I don't remember actually sleeping with him, I remember waking up in his bunk next to him at two in the morning, a half an hour before bus call. I had to scramble to get dressed and get on my bus. I had to act like I had been there asleep when everyone came back.

I went to bed drunk and insanely mad at myself. And I woke up hungover and insanely mad at myself.

"Rae, get up before I get the paintball gun," Pete said as he passed by the bunk. I heard him trip and crash into something.

I poked my head out of the bunk and giggled at what I saw. Pete was laying face down in the pile of dirty clothes we'd been creating since day. Today was my day to gather all of those clothes and wash them. I also needed to shower. And go grocery shopping because we were running low on alcohol and hot pockets and cookies and all that other bad shit for ourselves. And I also needed to avoid Jack.

Jesus Christ, today was going to be a busy day. My fucking hangover was going to make it worse.

"Rachel fucking Marie," Pete growled, his face still buried in the pile of clothes. He probably thought I was still in the bunk, sleeping.

"What, Pete?" I yawned, holding my head tightly. I felt like it was going to just implode on itself.

"Help me up!" He whined, holding his hands out for me to grab onto and pull him up. I did as he requested and pulled him up. He smiled and crashed his tiny body into mine. He smelled so bad. The alcohol and sweat and everything else from last night was radiating off of him. He didn't change his clothes. So fucking gross.

"Ew, Pete, shower?" I gagged, pulling away from him.

He laughed, "Yeah, I know. I'm gonna go do that now, then we're gonna go to the store and get our shit."

"Sounds like a plan, Wentz," I muttered, grabbing an empty duffel bag that I dubbed would be the dirty clothes bag on day one. No one listened, though. They just threw everything on to the bag, not in to it. I started shoving everything into the bag and groaned as I lifted it up to carry it outside. I stopped myself and backed up, glancing out the window for any signs of Jack.

"What the hell are you doing?" Pete asked from behind, startling the shit out of me.

"Uh, looking for Jess," I quickly spit out.

"She's already inside. I texted Patrick. They've been here for like twenty minutes. She's showering and he's waiting for her to be done so he can shower, which is like so stupid. They can totally shower together," Pete said, completely serious.

"Oh, my God, you're so stupid," I said, rolling my eyes and slapping his chest with my free hand. "Where's Joe?"

"Um, um, um, he took Hemingway for a walk around the hotel. He said he needed to go smoke so I told him he could take Hem with him," He shrugged, grabbing the two bags set on the couch. He left the bus and followed closely behind him.

I followed him up to the counter and impatiently waited as he got the room key. I nervously glanced over my shoulder every three seconds for any sign of Jack fucking Barakat.

"Yeah, thanks," Pete politely smiled at the girl behind the counter. He turned to me, then grabbed my free hand with his free hand, "Let's go."

"Yay, chores," I muttered to myself as we stepped on the elevator. "What time is it?"

"Ten something," Pete mumbled as the doors to the elevator opened. We stepped out and walked down the hall to room 1012. I was nervous I was gonna run into Jack. Pete picked up on this nervousness because he asked, "Why the fuck are you so jittery?"

"I've got a massive hangover and everything is killing my brain," I muttered, watching as he opened the door. "I just wanna lay down."

"I'm sorry, babe. But, you can't. You're gonna have to take something for that," He said softly. "We've got a busy day."

"Can't it wait?" I groaned, throwing the bag down on to the floor before running and throwing myself on to the bed.

"I'm sorry," He said, laying down next to me. "I'll go get you some aspirin if you want?"

"Oh, my God, if you could, that'd be so fantastic," I grinned.

"Alright, I'll be back in ten," He said, leaning in and kissing me before getting up and leaving the room.

Forgot his wallet. I smirked as the door opened again and he peeped in, grabbing the small leather wallet off the dresser by the door.

"Okay, seriously this time," He said, grinning just a bit.

"Okay, bye," I giggled, waving at him as he left. After he left, I sighed and sat up, knowing I should get a start on these clothes. I walked over to the duffel bag full of sweaty, dirty, nasty clothes and left the room.

I strolled down the hallway towards Cassadee's room. I wanted someone to come with me. Cass was the first person that came to mind.

As I was about to knock on her door, Jack came walking down the hallway with his hood up and his phone in hand. Ugh, motherfuck. I hated everything. With each step he took, closing the gap between us, my headache intensified.

He looked up from his phone and smiled at me, "Rae!"

"Jack!" I said, faking the enthusiasm. All I really wanted to do was smack him, then leave. Yes, we had that cute little moment the other day. But, last night he took advantage of me and my drunk self!

"What's up, buddy?" He asked, wrapping his lanky arms around me. He pulled away a bit and leaned down to kiss me. Woahhhhhh, hell no.

I brought my hand up and smushed his face away from mine, "What are you doing? Don't you dare kiss me again."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Last night you were practically begging me for se - "

"Shut up, oh, my God. We are in front of Cass' room. Come with me," I groaned, grabbing his hand and leading him back to my room. I pulled the keycard out of my pocket and scanned it, opening the door. I threw down my bag and turned to Jack.

"You were practically begging me for sex last night, Rachel. I don't fucking get it. You...you're like fucking bipolar. Has Pete rubbed off on you or something?" He asked, seriously frustrated.

"How dare you say that, Jack! You are so fucking stupid, you know that?"

"How am I stupid, Rachel? Fuck, okay, you tell me you hate me, you're over me, then you sleep with me, then get mad at me again. What the fuck am I supposed to do?" He said, looking and sounding like he was gonna break down crying.

"Realize we're an over night sensation. A casual fuck is all we'll ever be," I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "It's just how we are; how we operate."

"So, you're saying that all I am to you is a cheap fuck?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yes," I breathed out, instantly regretting it. "Wait, no, I didn't mean that. I mea - "

"Yeah, okay, fuck you, Rachel," He yelled, storming out of the room.

"Fuck you, too!" I screamed, feeling tears welling up in my eyes. I don't think I could handle this tour anymore. I think I needed to leave and let things cool down a bit.

No, I know I needed to leave. I needed to leave before anything else happened. Twice was enough. It was two times too many. Something would happen and Pete would find out. I just needed to get out of here before anyone let anything slip. I mean, fuck, I already accidentally told Alex about Jack and I.

I sat on the bed and figured out when I would leave and how I would break the news to Pete. He wasn't gonna take this very well. I always joined him on tour. From beginning to end, I stuck with him. I never left a tour. So, leaving this tour would be like a bullet to his heart.

I hated myself, but it needed to be done. I could stay around Jack any longer. I would leave tomorrow after breaking the news to Pete. I wouldn't tell anyone else. I would just tell him, then leave.

I sighed and walked over to the pile of bags Pete brought in. I fished around in one for my laptop. I was gonna buy a one way plane ticket to LAX and get away from Jack Barakat.