Just Come Running

I was let out of hospital the next morning, Johnny wheeling me while Tyler carried my belongings. I would’ve thought it would be the other way round, but I figured it out when Tyler silently gave me back the necklace I wore our promise rings on. I forgot I was wearing it, to be honest. It just seems like a second skin now. Tyler’s eyes kept drifting to the chain as he drove us back to the resort, but he didn’t say anything.

I don’t think he knew what to say.

Three more days passed, leaving only three left of Spring Break. Tyler and Johnny had told me what they’d all agreed, about Tyler staying with me during the day, and I didn’t hesitate to agree. I know I should’ve put up a bit of a fight about being left alone with Tyler for long periods every day (because Tyler has a habit of walking around shirtless when he’s indoors), but I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to. Something inside me wanted this.

My ribs are heavily bandaged and I have pain medication and antibiotics that I have to take three times a day, which Johnny’s family left Tyler in charge of. Tyler seemed to welcome this responsibility, along with keeping me company from 9am in the morning until 5pm at night. For the first two days I wasn’t allowed to move around, so we stayed in mine and Johnny’s room, watching movies and eating junk food in the living area. Today I was allowed outside though.

And Tyler took full advantage of that.

As soon as Johnny and his parents had left for skiing, Tyler helped me get dressed (I pulled my own underwear on, thank you), and we took a slow walk around the resort, taking photos of scenery and talking about anything that came to mind. That’s the great thing about being around Tyler – there’s always something to talk about. Conversation never runs dry between us. After meeting with Johnny and his parents for lunch in the hotel, Tyler took me back to my room, seeing as my ribs were getting a little sore from all the walking.

We decided to just hang out in the living area again, me stretched out on the sofa, Tyler sitting on the floor on cushions, returning to talking.

“Dude, there is no legal reason for you to want to walk down the main street completely naked!” I laughed.

“What if I want to display my goods?” Tyler grinned.

“What if no-one else wants to see your ‘goods’?” I snickered.

“You know you would,” Tyler smirked.

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter, my head tilting back slightly. Tyler laughed too, a grin spreading across his lips. I haven’t seen him smile like that since before we broke up. I haven’t seen him flirt like that since before we broke up.

Okay, woah. Hold up now.

Where did that thought come from? And why the fuck am I thinking like this? Why the fuck am I acting like this? Flirting with another guy that isn’t Sean? Flirting with Tyler?!

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

“What’s wrong, Drew?” Tyler frowned.

Huh. Tyler must’ve noticed my change in mood. I chewed my bottom lip. I can’t just blurt it out, can I?

“Did I do something wrong?” Tyler asked softly.

I quickly shook my head. No, this isn’t Tyler’s fault. It’s mine.

“I just…I haven’t laughed like this in months with anyone but Sean,” I murmured, averting my eyes from him.

I expected Tyler to groan in annoyance. I expected Tyler to snap out an insult. I didn’t expect him to sigh.

“Do you feel like you’re…I don’t know…doing something you shouldn’t by hanging out with me?” Tyler grumbled.

“No! It’s not that, it’s just...I can’t be flirting with you when I’m with him,” I winced.

“We’re not flirting!” Tyler protested.

I just looked at him, raising an eyebrow. Tyler sighed again, running a hand through his hair.

“Okay, maybe we are, but I can’t help it! It just comes naturally when I’m around you,” Tyler muttered.

I rubbed the back of my neck, not really sure what to say. Why? Because it’s just comes naturally for me too. But I can’t do this to Sean. I won’t do this to Sean.

“You know I still love you, Tyler. But Sean is…Sean means a lot to me. I don’t want to cheat on him, Ty,” I whispered, my eyes pricking with tears.

Tyler’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he quickly moved so he was holding both my hands in his. I didn’t move them.

“I would never put you in that position. Hell, I would never put anyone in that position. I may be a drunken asshole most of the time, but I am not the type of person that makes anyone cheat,” Tyler said firmly.

I smiled weakly and nodded, desperately trying not to cry in front of him.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

Thank you for understanding.

“It’s okay, Drew. How about I go get us some hot chocolate and then we can put a film on?”

“Sounds good to me,” I nodded.

Tyler smiled and lifted one of my hands to his lips, pressing his lips to my knuckles before standing up and leaving the room. As soon as the door was shut, I let the tears fall from my eyes. Why is this so hard? Why is loving Tyler after all this time so hard? Why can’t Sean be enough for me?

Why can’t everything just be easy?