Just Come Running

Johnny’s parents dropped us back to Stanford College straight from Mammoth Mountain. I can’t believe it’s nearly halfway through April already. I can’t believe how fast Spring Break went. All that time with Tyler…well, it reminded me of just how much of a good time we used to have. The laughter, the smiling, the comfort…the happiness. I have been so happy since the skiing accident, and it’s all because of Tyler. And that’s a problem. I can’t get Tyler out of my head even more so than usual, I really can’t, and that means I can’t be as good a boyfriend as I was to Sean before.

How can I be, when I’m thinking of another guy? Of my ex?

I need to talk to Beth. She’ll help me talk through everything. Beth always knows what advice to give, never being biased one way or another. I need her advice and I need it now.

I was lucky that Beth was in the apartment when Johnny and I got in.

“Andrew! Johnny!” Beth squealed, running over to us.

“Beth!” we chorused.

The three of us hugged tightly, Beth swaying us from side to side.

“How was skiing?” Beth asked, once she broke away.

“It was great, apart from…well, Drew broke and fractured his ribs in an accident,” Johnny said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You got into an accident and didn’t tell me?!” Beth shrieked.

“We didn’t want to worry you. Besides, they’re healing good,” I reassured.

“Thanks to Tyler,” Johnny coughed.

Beth’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Uh, I’m sorry, I thought I just heard you say Tyler,” Beth frowned.

I sighed. “Tyler’s family own all the hotels and chalets on the resort. He was there when we were, and he was the first person to help us when I got hurt. And he stayed with me for the whole of the second week while Johnny and his parents were skiing,”

Beth studied my face for a second, frowning even more.

“Johnny, can you give us a minute?” Beth said.

“Yeah, sure. I’m pretty sure my parents are still here anyway,” Johnny nodded.

Beth waited until Johnny had left until speaking again.

“What’s going on, Drew?” she asked.

I spilled everything. How Tyler’s company made me crave him. How I laughed harder with him than I had in months. How his concern and worry was true. How his natural flirting made me blush like I hadn’t in so long. How his smile made my heart beat quicker than Sean ever made it. How I cared for Sean but knew I could never love him like I love Tyler.

“And that’s pretty much it. I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I would give anything to be back in Tyler’s arms. I know he still wants me. But on the other hand, I can’t hurt Sean. I can’t hurt him and I don’t want to hurt him. I just don’t know what to do,” I whispered.

Beth was silent for a little while.

“You know you have to decide what you really want right? Sean or Tyler? You can’t have them both so involved in your life,” Beth told me.

I whimpered. I don’t want to decide. That means I will lose one of them for good.

“Sean will just end up getting hurt if you don’t decide. He’s not stupid, Drew. He’ll figure out you still have unsolved feelings for Tyler, and then he’ll start to second guess himself and then he’ll get miserable. It’s not fair to him to leave this undecided,” Beth said softly.

I thought over her words. She’s right. I know she’s right. I just don’t want her to be right.

“I know. I just…I need a little time,” I murmured.

“Don’t take too long,” Beth said with a weak smile.

I just nodded, Beth taking her cue to leave. I need…I need Sean right now. I need to know that I’m not going crazy just because Tyler’s been a constant feature in my everyday life for a week. A simple phone call made him come over in 10 minutes.

“Drew! I missed you so much,” Sean groaned.

“I missed you too,” I said softly, hugging him tightly.

I smiled as Sean buried his face in my neck, kissing my flesh gently before pulling away.

“How are your ribs? Are they healing okay?” Sean asked worriedly, holding me at arms length.

Mm, Sean knows about the accident. He doesn’t know who helped me after the accident, but he knows I got injured. How? He phoned me when Tyler and I were watching a film. Tyler kept poking me to stop talking during the good parts, so I threw a cushion at him, causing pain to shoot up my side. I yelped and Sean asked what happened – so I had to tell him.

“They’re healing just fine. No strenuous activity for a few more weeks though,” I smirked.

Sean blushed, biting his bottom lip.

“I’ve always wanted to ride,” he murmured.

My eyes went wide in shock. The things he says sometimes…

“You are full of surprises,” I snickered, pulling him back close to me again.

“I try,” Sean giggled.

I smiled and pressed my lips to his, earning a soft moan from Sean. I love his kisses but he’s just not Tyler. No, bad thoughts. I’m not going there yet.

“How about we watch a movie on my laptop, yeah?” I suggested.

“A chill-out night?” Sean asked, cocking his head to the side.

So fucking adorable.

“A chill-out night,” I nodded.

Sean squealed and bundled down the corridor to my room. I laughed and picked up my luggage, following him before kicking the door shut. Sean made himself comfortable on my bed while I set everything up, immediately snuggling into my side once it was ready and I was sitting next to him.

“I’m really glad you’re back,” Sean murmured, kissing my cheek.

I forced a smile onto my lips, hating that he was so happy when I was far from it.

“Me too,” I said softly.

Sean smiled and pecked my lips, turning to face the movie. All I could do was curse under my breath. Beth is right. I need to make a decision, whether it’s choosing Sean completely or going back to Tyler. I can’t hurt Sean, so I have to choose. But how?