When Hope Begins to Fade

I realized that I had fucked up big time. What Matt had said to me was true. I was glad that I had friends to watch my daughters. I kept replaying what Matt said over and over again in my mind. I wasn’t going to lay a hand on Maddy or Ali. I was just trying to scare Maddy. I guess I went a little too far. What Maddy said had also went through my mind. ‘It’s not like you act like a dad! You are about as bad as mom! At least it is somewhat better here than it was with mom.” I was bad like their mom. I don’t know who their mom is yet but I know she treated them bad. I was doing the same thing. All these girls wanted was a loving family. They both probably wanted their parents and here I was acting like a dick. Maddy usually never cries, but I have. It wasn’t the first time either.

I sighed as I thought everything over. It was quiet in the house. Johnny and Lacey had went somewhere so it left me alone. My phone made me jump when it vibrated against the table. I picked up the phone and read the text from Matt.

Jimmy has Ali and is spending time with her. Don’t worry.

I sent a text to Matt telling him thanks. I laid my phone back down on the table before running my hands down my face. I needed to figure out what I was going to do. I needed both girls to trust me. They needed to know that I could be a good father. Actually I would be a good father. I was just fucked up right now. I knew that both girls still loved me. They were just mad. They were smart girls too. Especially Maddy. I am sure she knew that I would be there for them both. I know Maddy would probably forgive me first. She would convince Ali. All I needed to do was figure out how. I was going to need the help of the guys.

X

All the guys were at my house and it was around nine at night. It took a lot of convincing to get them here. Jimmy, Matt and Brian didn’t really want to be around me. They were disappointed in me. Johnny lives here so it wasn’t like he had a choice.

All their eyes were on me as we sat around the table.

“I need your help. I realized how bad I fucked up. I want to make it up for Maddy and Ali. I just don’t know what.” I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

“Why should we help you for?” Jimmy spoke. He was glaring at me.

“Because I would like neither of my daughters to be pissed off at me!” I raised my voice some.

“Dude, calm down.” Matt told me.

“I just… I just want them to have a loving family. It is what they need. I thought everything over. I realized how much of an asshole I’ve been. I just want to start things over with them. I want them forgive me. I want them to know that I love them a lot.” I sighed once again.

“If you keep fucking up they won’t forgive you. You are going to have to show them that you are there for them. That you will spend time with them. You won’t fuck things up again once they forgive you. If you do then they probably won’t forgive you. They won’t hate you thought. You are their dad no matter what.” Matt spoke.

“I know Matt. I don’t want to fuck things up. I want everything to get better.”

“I’ll help as long as you promise not to fuck everything up. You do and the girls will stay with us.” Matt said seriously.

“I promise Matt.” I was being truthful. I didn’t want to make things worse.

“Ali loves the park. I took her there today. She also likes ice cream.” Jimmy smiled.

“Maddy loves the arcade and skating. She has been trying to skateboard.” Brian grinned.

“Ali is more sensitive. Remember that.” Matt spoke next.

“Um, Maddy likes video games.” Johnny joined in. We laughed. The four began naming things off that both girls liked.

“Ali likes shopping.”

“Maddy hate shopping. She stays with Matt and I when Michelle and Val go shopping.” Brian laughed.

“Don’t buy dresses or any girly clothes for Maddy. She won’t wear them.” Matt began laughing.

“Don’t give the girls cigarettes or alcohol. You might go to jail.” Johnny spoke. We all stared at him.

“Really captain obvious?” Brian asked. Johnny shrugged.

“I am sure Zack knew that. Just in case he didn’t he now knows. Just because you told him Johnny.” Matt tried to not laugh but failed.

“Yeah, thanks man. I needed to know that.” I replied sarcastically.

“So, think about what we said and try to figure out ideas. We will help as much as we can. It’s getting late and I need to go.” Matt said as he stood up from his chair.

“Thanks man.” I got up from my chair also since everyone else was now.

“Alright call tomorrow. Don’t worry, none of us will say anything to Maddy or Ali.” Matt smiled.

“I know you won’t. Maddy might figure it out though.” I laughed.

“True.” Brian agreed.

“You should probably put them in school. They are six you know. They hadn’t been to school so it will be different. They can make friends though. They need friends. I am sure they will be able to skip a grade or two.” Matt spoke.

“Yeah, I guess I should enroll them.” I agreed. I was going to do that soon now that it was brought up.

“Well see ya man.” Matt said as he and Brian left. Johnny went to the living room where Lacey was. Jimmy was making something to eat. I walked to my room and began brainstorming ideas from what the guys told me.