Sooner Than Later, I'll Need a Saviour

Of course today was Thursday. And, since it was Thursday, Candy would be going to see Zacky today, the man I hadn’t seen since Tuesday night since I left Wednesday morning. And, of course, I did not want to go, but Candy dragged me there. Quite literally too. I didn’t tell her what had happened and I really don’t plan on it. We were at the gas station promptly at seven-fifty. That was twenty minutes ago.

“Something terrible has happened!” Candy cried, throwing her hands over her head. She had shot up five after eight and began pacing. She still hasn’t sat down.

“Calm down Candy. He’s probably just sick,” I offered weakly. I didn’t think he was sick, but anything to calm her down. Nothing serious could have happened to him, he was probably just annoyed with me. And he knew for a fact that Candy would drag me here.

“No. Even when he’s sick he’ll never stay home,” Candy scowled.

“Look, you freaking out isn’t going to help. Why don’t you just go check on him?” Candy snorted at my words.

“I wish. He never tells anyone where he lives. I can’t really blame him. He tells the wrong person, they get wasted, tell someone else and he could get his ass robbed.” Candy sighed, running a hand through her hair and messing it up further. “I just want to know if he’s hurt.”

“He’s a tough guy, he can take care of himself,” I said sternly. I think a small part of me was just trying to believe it too. She let out a shaky sigh before sitting on the curb next to me. I frowned, studying my friend’s soon-to-be-crying form. “Why are you so worried about him? He your boyfriend or something?”

“God no,” Candy laughed, rubbing at her eyes with her knuckles to stop the tears from beginning their free fall. “He’s just like an older brother. He’s been taking care of me the best he can for two years now.”

“Oh.” She smiled, chuckling a little. “What?”

“Did you know he actually offered to move into a two bedroom so I could live with him?” I rose an eyebrow. I wonder if Zacky liked Candy like that even though she didn’t.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to be a burden,” Candy said simply, shrugging her shoulders. My breath hitched in my throat a little as she said this. She was just like me in more ways than I thought. I began to breathe normally before Candy would notice.

“Look Candy, how about this? You go ahead and go have a few bowls with Frank and I’ll look for him.” I didn’t really want to, but if it would make my friend happy then I was going to suck it up and grow my girl balls. She looked up at me with wide eyes, sniffling.

“Are you sure Alice?” Candy asked, searching my eyes for a ping of regret. I smiled and shook my head.

“Positive. I’ll find him and bring him to Frank’s, okay?”

“Thank-you so much Alice!” Candy exclaimed, jumping up and bringing me into a tight hug in one movements. I hugged her back and we separated. “Want me to save you a bowl?”

“Nah, I’m not really in the mood.” Candy stopped short of walking backwards, her eyes wide. I looked away to the way I knew Zack’s flat was.

“Are you okay Alice? It’s not like you to - ” Candy cut herself off, not really needing to finish her sentence. It was nothing like me to pass up weed.

“I’m just not in the mood. I’ll be back soon.” With that I set off on my walk, not waiting for a reply. I fished my pack out of my pocket before lighting the cancer stick up. As soon as I was finished I came to a stop outside Zack’s building. I stomped it out before heading inside. I didn’t even cast a glance towards Layla as I walked to the elevators.

Inside I was left to think about the thoughts swarming through my head. Why did I care so much about Candy? And Zack for that matter? I got too attached and I will suffer for it later. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I guess for now I’ll just have to bask in the moment.

Soon the elevator dinged and allowed me to step off onto Zack’s floor. I struggled a little to remember his door again and soon found it. I tested the knob to find it locked. I took a deep breath before knocking on the dark brown wood. A few moments later it was pulled open. My tall stance deflated when I saw someone who wasn’t Zacky. He had short, spiky, black hair and brown eyes. He was a little taller than Zacky meaning a shit load taller than me.

“I’m sorry, I must have the wrong apartment.” As I went to step away he caught my attention again.

“No, wait. Who are you looking for?”

“Zacky. He lives here, right?” I asked, quirking an eyebrow. He nodded, stepping to the side to allow me in.

“I’m Brian. I tried to get in contact with him all day. Luckily I have an extra key so I just let myself in.” I nodded as I entered the studio and he shut the door. “Who are you?”

“Alice. Where’s Zacky?” I hadn’t seen him yet. Brian sighed, eyes turning to look at the open bathroom door. I took his silent hint and crossed the room. I poked my head into the bathroom and didn’t see anything. As I took a double look I saw the leg hanging out of the stand in shower. I walked forward and peeked my head around the side. The sight shook me up.

Zacky sat on the ground, back against one of the tiled walls. In one hand was a nearly empty bottle of Jack Daniels. In the other was a joint. The smoke was filling up the closed in space so much that it looked like steam. I knelt down in front of Zacky and raised his chin with my thumb. His eyes were red and the pupils were dilated bigger than normal.

“I found him like that when I got here ten minutes ago.” I jumped, turning around to see Brian leaning on the doorframe that led into the room. He wore a frown and his forehead was creased with worry. “I tried to talk to him, but he won’t reply. I was five seconds away from taking him to the hospital when you knocked.”

“I don’t want to take him since pot is illegal, but since I don’t know how much he drank he could need his stomach pumped,” I stated, as if I was an expert. Though, by now, I practically was. I turned back to Zacky and held his face between my hands. “Zacky, you have to talk to me.”

His eyes finally found me and he grinned. Instead of talking back he fell limp, the goofy grin still there. I let out an ‘oof’ and fell to my ass as he went dead weight on me. Brian stepped forward and helped me lean him on the wall. I took the joint and put it out on the tiled floor. “Is he going to be okay?”

“I dunno yet.” I sat cross legged in front of him and grabbed his face again. “Zack, baby, you got to talk to me.”

Zacky giggled madly. “You called me ‘baby’.”

“Zacky, do you need to go to a doctor?”

“Nooo, I just need some Jack,” Zacky exclaimed. Brian was quick to walk forward and grabbed the bottle. Zacky blinked at his empty hand and frowned. “Heeeey. Where’d Jack go?”

“He had to go home,” I said with a blank face. It took all I had to not laugh at him. He sighed and slumped.

“He always leaves me, just like everyone else.” Zacky began to mutter incoherent things under his breath. I turned my head to Brian with a weak smile.

“I think he’ll be fine. You can split if you want. I’ll just talk him down from his high and help him to bed.”

“Are you sure?” I nodded, turning my attention back to Zacky. “Need me to do anything?”

“Can you call a number for me and tell someone named Candy that I’m taking care of Zack?”

“Sure.” I recited to him Frank’s number which he began to dial after he entered in the ten digits. We said our goodbyes before he left my vision. I could hear him talking and then the front door shutting. Zacky was stll mumbling to himself which caused me to sigh. I leaned down to place my ear near his mouth and he seemed to, somehow, get even softer.

“Zacky, what are you talking about?” I sighed leaning on the wall next to him.

“Mattie. He’s gone,” Zacky slurred. I rose an eyebrow. Was he talking about big, muscular Matt? He was only at work I thought.

“Which Matt?”

“My brother,” Zacky sniffled. I tilted my head to the side. He has a brother? I couldn’t ask anything since he continued to ramble. “I didn’t go to his stuff, I didn’t. And now they’re leaving to Long Beach. I failed him, I failed.”

I stayed silent. Something big had happened with his brother and Zacky was beat up over it. I felt horrible for him. Something told me that this was all my fault. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “You know, Candy’s worried about you. You were suppose to meet her today.”

“Another person I failed!” He howled, his face falling into his hands as sobs racked his body. I took him into a sideways hugs. Soon he fell, his head in my lap, calming down to just sniffles. I ran my hand through his hair, trying to soothe him.

“Zacky, do you love Candy?”

“Yes.” My heart - for some reason unknown to me - felt like it was stabbed with a thirteen inch long knife. Maybe a chainsaw was shoved into my chest. “But only as a sister.”

“Oh.” I instantly felt slightly better. I mentally slapped myself. I need to put my emotions aside. I have to stop putting myself in the equation.

“Alice?”

“Yeah?” I looked down at his face. His tears had dried up but his eyes were still bloodshot, from both the pot and crying. His green eyes were locked with mine and I couldn’t tear my eyes away.

“I think I love you, and not like a sister.” I froze up, my eyes growing wide.

“We sh - should get you to bed Zack,” I stuttered out. His eyes flared with anger and he shot up. Soon he stumbled to his feet, grabbing a pole on the wall of the shower.

“I tell you I love you and you ju - just shrug it off?!” He shouted, swaying side to side a little.

“Zacky! You need to sit down,” I said sternly as I climbed to my feet. As I went to touch him, he slapped my hand away. I frowned at his unkind behavior. I had never seen him like this.

“No! How you feel about me? I want to know right fucking now!” He shouted, beginning to get aggravated. I was too.

That’s why, without thinking, I blurted out, “I fucking love you, okay?!”

Zacky looked as if he had been smack across the face. His face adapted a poker face and his shared shoulders slumped down. “Wha - what?”

“You’re the only thing on my mind all the fucking time. I worry about you more than I worry about myself. I just can’t follow my feelings because everything I love gets taken from me or leaves. I can’t handle that heartbreak again!” I shouted, tears streaming down my face.

The air was tense as my outburst hung in the air. Suddenly Zacky crossed the small distance between us to take my face in his hands, kissing me roughly on the mouth. I don’t know if it was our recent confessions or the frustration hanging in the air, but I was quickly kissing back, equally as rough. He picked me up by my ass, my legs wrapping around his waist. His kiss tasted better than I thought.

My fingers tangled into his hair and I gave him light tugs once in a while. Zacky stumbled out of the shower then the bathroom. He threw me down onto the bed which I gave out a hiss of pleasure to. So I was kind of a masochist when I wanted sex. Sue me. Soon Zacky climbed on top of me, smirking.

“You sure you want this?” Instead of answering I pulled him down to kiss him roughly again. From there it was bliss.