Sarah Smiles

Brendon’s P.O.V

I was the biggest fuck up there ever was to exist. Well, I felt like it anyways. I stared at my phone screen, tears blurring my vision, but the words still visible.

You are taking me apart like bad glue on a get well card.

After countless rejections of my calls, she finally decided to respond through a text. In all honesty I’d rather she didn’t. Spencer’s hand rested around my hunched back in attempt to comfort me.

We were sat in Sarah’s apartment. I was adamant to stay there until she came back, if she came back. Call it breaking in, but I and Spencer had used the spare key under the door mat to get into Sarah’s house, in hopes perhaps we’d find some sort of clue as to where she had fled off to. By the looks of it, she didn’t even return home before she took off to wherever she was going.

“Where do you think she is?” I mumbled to Spencer.

Spencer shrugged. “I honestly have no idea. I’ve called almost everybody.”

While I was wallowing over my stupid mistake, Spencer had been calling people who Sarah possibly would have gone to gain comfort from. Nobody knew where she was. Sarah had stopped automatically rejecting any calls from me and Spencer and merely let her phone ring until it had reached the answer phone. But I still carried on hitting the call button, eager that the endless rings would cut off and her soft voice would run through my ears.

Spencer turned to me. “Brendon, we should go. I don’t think she’s going to be coming back tonight.”

I shook my head vigorously. “I’m staying.”

“But Brendon-“

“No.” I cut him off. “Just let me stay here.” I tossed Spencer my car keys. “Just take my car back to yours. I need to stay here; it will make me feel more at ease.”

Spencer didn’t want to retaliate to my stubbornness; he nodded grabbing the key and gave me a pat on the back as he got up. He left the apartment silently, my eyes still fixated on the small screen as the door slammed shut.

Ryan’s P.O.V

She stared at me and looked like a wreck. Her face was tear stained, her eyes bloodshot and skin lacking colour. I had never seen her like this.

“Please. Please don’t say ‘I told you so.’” Her voice croaked.

My instant reaction was to envelope her body with my arms. My hand rested on the back of her head, pushing it into my chest. I felt her whole body shake as sobs escaped her lips. I automatically squeezed her body tighter and closer to mine. I hated seeing her like this.

She pushed her head up from my chest and looked up at me with tear filled eyes. “I’m sorry for not listening to you.”

I used my thumbs to wipe the tears that fell from her eyes. “Shhh. It doesn’t matter.” I felt butterflies in my stomach when she wrapped her arms around my waist. The side of her face rested back onto my chest. My chin fixed on the top of her head, and my hand returned to her hair. Everything felt so surreal, after my countless texts and calls that Sarah had rejected, I honestly thought that I would never see or speak to her again. The question still lingered in my mind.

“What happened?” I muttered.

She remained silent for a while before giving out a light sigh.

***
I lay on the sofa with Sarah, my body lay behind her sleeping form and my arm was lightly wrapped around her waist. I pulled a hair away from her tear stained face. She had spent over an hour sobbing obstinacies, cursing Brendon’s name. Something about them kissing, and him being a ‘self consisted asshole.’ I couldn’t really understand her blubbering. I just knew for sure that Brendon had really upset her, and that was more than enough for me to want to beat the shit out of him.

I knew Sarah was never going to love me like I loved her. I could deal with her being in love with someone else, as long as she was happy… but she wasn’t, and it was heart breaking. She didn’t deserve to feel the way she did.

I was going to do everything I could to make that smile reappear on her face, because that smile made me know she was happy and I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy.

Sarah’s P.O.V

I had realised how stupid it was to leave to go to Ryan's without stopping off at my apartment first. I didn't have anything, clothes, underwear, just general necessities. Ryan was more than happy to drive me back to mine so I could pick up a few things.

I left him to relax in the living room while I packed a few things. I stepped into my room, scanning the room or the items I needed, a figure rested on my bed caught my eye. I let out a shrill scream. The body shot up, and let out a loud yelp similar to mine. My scream instantly faded when I realised who it was.

“Brendon, how the fuck did you get in here!?”

He ignored my question, and just stared at me in awe with his bloodshot eyes. He quickly scrambled off the bed and threw himself on me. His arms pulled me into his chest, and his hold made it hard for me to breathe.

“You’re back.” He whispered. “I was so worried.”

I felt my body tense in his embrace. I was still upset and angry at him. My arms reached up to his chest and pushed him away. He gave me a confused look.

My own eyes trailed to the floor. “I’m not staying, I just came back to get a few things.” I glanced up and saw his big eyes looking at me, glazed with water.

“What?” He shook his head. “Where are you going?”

On queue Ryan appeared in my room, his mouth was open about to say something but he instantly froze when seeing Brendon. Brendon stared stunned and retreated his gaze back to me.

“You’re staying with Ryan?”

I bit my lip and nodded.

“Why did you even leave in the first place?”

I played with my fingers, trailing my stare away from him again. “I heard you talking to Spencer.” Tears stung the corner of my eyes. “I heard everything you said.”

Brendon’s voice jumped in. “I didn’t mean any of it. I swear!”

“Bullshit.” I seethed.

I felt his had roughly grab my chin and pull it up to look at him. “Please.” He said through gritted teeth. “You have to believe me. I feel so fucking stupid for saying those things.” I swatted his hand away from my face.

“I don’t believe you. Just leave me the fuck alone. You’re ruining me.” He stared at me stunned. “I’d appreciate if you got out of my apartment please.”

“No. You need to listen to me.”

I could feel the angry pulsate through my veins. My fists clenched. “I don’t want to listen to your crap!”

I felt a soft touch on my shoulder and whipped my head around to Ryan. “Just hear him out.” He muttered.

I spun my head back around to Brendon. “Go on then.”

He took a deep breath. “Look. What I said, what you heard. It was me just being an idiot, trying to convince myself that the feelings I felt when I kissed you meant nothing. That kiss was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced. When you left, if felt like my whole world had crumbled. The prospect of never seeing you or speaking to you again made me want to rip my throat out for ever ushering those lies.” I attempted to cut in, but Brendon spoke over me.

“I spent the whole night in your house, crying. I fucked everything up. Without you I’m miserable, I’m empty. I’m nothing. You don’t understand, I don’t understand. This power you have over me, it’s frustrating, but I love it. I love everything about you. I love you. I love you Sarah. I’m in love with you.”

The tears poured freely down his face. My heart thrashed in my chest. My brain not comprehending the words that flowed from his mouth. Did he just say he’s in love with you? I felt like I was going to be sick. I was speechless.

“So please, please don’t leave.”

I shook my head. “You can’t love me. You have a girlfriend, this isn’t going to work. I’m not a home wrecker.” I sighed. “I’m still going with Ryan.”

Ryan was quick to cut in. “No you’re not.”

I turned to him shocked. “What?”

“He just poured his heart out to you. He loves you, you love him. I’m not going to your stubbornness ruin this. You’re not staying with me, I’m sorry but you’ll thank me later.” He gave a salute to me and Brendon while turning to leave the room. “Have fun kids.” He whistled a happy tune as he left the room and the apartment.

I and Brendon both gawked at what had just happened. I could have rung his neck. We turned to awkwardly stare at each other.

Here we go…