Sarah Smiles

The drinks Spencer handed to me were apparently meant to ‘numb the pain’, but it had the opposite effect. I was sat on the floor of a hotel room bathroom, my face lent on the toilet bowl and a sobbing uncontrollably. Spencer had offered to take me back to the hotel we checked into when he realised I was getting out of hand. He was crouched down behind me, rubbing my back and holding my hair back. My body lurched when the remaining contents of my stomach flew out of my body. I carried on weeping.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed.” Spencer spoke tenderly.

I shook my head in protest. “I just want to sit here and cry.”

Spencer sighed. “You can’t keep doing this you know.” He pulled my head up from the toilet bowl. “You can’t keep crying every time you see those two together.”

“I can’t help it.” I muttered. “I try my hardest not to, but I just can’t control myself.”

“Sarah, he’s noticed you’ve changed around him. He’s noticed you’re not as happy anymore, and it’s really worrying him.” He ran his hand through my hair. “He still cares about you. He still loves you, and it may not be in the way that you love him. But he still loves you.”

Spencer was never going to understand. I knew Brendon still cared for me, and I knew Brendon still loved me. But who wants to see the person they love with someone else, there was no way of me getting over it when it kept on being slammed in my face every second. I tried my best to hide my emotions, I really did, but heart break is different to just being sad. I sat on the tiled floor, a frown on my face. Spencer was right though, I couldn’t keep doing this. I had just embarrassed myself in front of those masses of people, and even though the majority of them knew why and understood my predicament, I felt like an idiot.

There was a loud banging on the door that startled me and Spencer. The muffled voice of Brendon could be heard. “Sarah, Spencer you guys in there?!”

My heart rate shot up. I could not let Brendon see me like this. I turned to Spencer, hoping he had a plan. “Get into bed!” He whispered. I quickly shot up and stumbled towards the bed.
Brendon’s voice called out again. “Guys let me in!” I ripped the sheets of the bed open and jump in, slamming my eyes shut.

“I’m coming!” Spencer yelled out. There was the creek of the door opening and I heard Brendon rapidly come in. The steps paused when he noticed my resting figure.

“What happened to her?” He mumbled to Spencer.

“She drank too much.” Spencer replied.

I heard Brendon sigh. “I guessed that, but why was she crying.” I could hear the pity in his voice.

“I honestly have no clue.”

I felt the weight on the bed shift, then Brendon’s touch on my face. “Spencer, I’m really concerned about her. I don’t see that glow about her anymore, she’s changed so much.” I could feel my body melting at his touch, his thumb traced circles on my cheek. “She’s not happy like she used to be. Do you think that possibly Ryan and Jon leaving are to do with it? Maybe she really liked one of them.” I felt my stomach drop. He really was oblivious wasn’t he?

“No.” Spencer replied. “She told me that she doesn’t even know why she’s sad. She reckons it’s just a phase she’s going through and she’ll get over it.” Thank god for Spencer.

“I hope she gets over it soon.” Brendon said solemnly. His face lent towards my ear, and I felt his hot breath on my skin. He whispered “Please feel better soon” And kissed the side of my head. The weight on the bed shifted again as he got up.

“Alright, I’m going to go back to my room.” His steps quietened as he got closer to the door. It creaked open. “Spencer, tell me how she’s getting on later.”

Once I heard the door click shut, my eyes opened again. I sighed still lying down.

“See, he is really worried about you…” Spencer spoke.

“I know, I know.” I closed my eyes again. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“Good luck with that hangover tomorrow.” Spencer laughed. I merely grumbled back at him shifting into a comfortable position. I felt the darkness take over me.

***
I was awoken by the annoying sound of my phone vibrating against the wooden beside table. My head throbbed. I went to grab my phone but my hand was greeted with something soft and gloopy. I groaned too look at what my hand had met with. I sat myself up and saw a red velvet cup cake alongside my phone. There was a note that was peeking just under the cake. I pulled the piece of paper out form its hiding place. Elegant writing covered the note.

“Thought this might make you feel better, I know it’s your favourite. :)

~Brendon”

I felt a smile grow on my face. I licked the gloop off my hand and reached for my phone. I had one text from Gabe, or how Gabe saved his name on my phone ‘THE SEXY ONE’.

“hope ur not feelin too shitty :P. u r coming out w/ me and some of the boys 2night.
U better come, or I’ll drag u there. x”

I rolled my eyes. I really was not in the mood to party, but Gabe would not let me sit in the room all night. I would text him later with my decision, not that it would’ve matter anyway. For the meantime I sent Brendon a text thanking him for the cupcake.

I spent that morning in bed, happily munching away at the treat. I was alarmed when I had received a text back from Brendon almost instantly.

You're welcome :). I can tell something is bugging you btw, I'm not stupid. I just want you to know, if you need to talk, I'm always here for you. x

I threw my phone towards the end of the bed.

Oh Brendon, if only you knew.