Back to Square One

“Get dressed,” I ordered sleepily as I walked into the living room where Hazelyn was seated on the couch, her feet propped up on the glass coffee table.

She looked up at me and glared. “No, I don’t want to chaperone you and one of my close friends as you have sex with your eyes across the dinner table,” she spat at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Can you stop being a jealous bitch? We’re having dinner,” I said as I walked back to my room to get myself ready.

“I am not being a jealous bitch!” she protested.

“Whatever floats you boat babe, whatever floats your boat,” I called out behind me as I closed the door.



“Since when did you like having dinner on yacht,” she asked me as we walked on board. Eyes were all over us. I mean, who’s wouldn’t be? I was with the most beautiful woman on this boat. Hell, the most beautiful woman in this planet. Well, at least in my eyes she is.

I stared at her and her confident stance. She was so comfortable despite all the attention she was drawing.

“Since my mom bargained that we have dinner with her,” I mumbled as I reluctantly put my hand on the small of her back, half expecting her to swat my hand away. But she surprised me by leaning to my touch, and letting me lead the way.

“What the hell are you talking about?” she hissed.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Your mom’s here?” she asked me. I just nodded.

“Jerome!” I heard my mom’s voice, making both Hazelyn’s and I’s heads snap towards the direction of the woman that gave birth to me. I carefully lead Hazelyn towards the table and pulled out the chair for her. I expected my mom to start squealing and gushing at how happy she is that we’re on speaking terms, but she completely astonished me with her lack of approval of having the girl of my dreams with me. “This is Cassadee, your dad’s friend’s daughter,” she introduced.

“Mom,” I said carefully, and giving her a ‘what the fuck?’ look.

“What?” she asked innocently.

“I’m here with somebody,” I said carefully.

“Oh? Well, I was just expecting you,” she stated snobilly.

“Mother,” I hissed.

“I should leave,” Hazelyn cleared her throat as she got up, but I stopped her.

“No you’re not,” I said, gripping onto her wrist, eyeing my rude mother. What the fuck?! “At least not alone,” I said before getting up. “Come on Hazelyn. I’m not letting my m-,” my mom cut me off.

“Hazelyn?!” she practically shouted. Hazelyn just gave her an awkward half smile and waved awkwardly at my dumbfounded mother. “Oh my gosh!” my mom gushed as she ran around the table and hugged Hazelyn like a teddy bear. “Oh my dear, I apologize. I didn’t recognize you. Your hair. It’s… blonde!” she stated as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Yeah,” Hazelyn chuckled nervously.

“I’m so sorry my dear. I really thought you were one of those blonde sluts that my son has been dating,” she shot me a disapproving look. “But I guess he got his head back on track!”

Haze just nodded and smiled lightly.

“What the hell is wrong with you son? You didn’t tell me that you were here with Hazelyn!” she scolded me. “You didn’t tell me you were back together!” she frowned.

“We’re not back together,” Hazelyn cut my mom’s happiness short.

My dear mother instantly frowned. “You’re not?” I shook my head and hung my head.

“Well mom, we’re going to go. You have a guest to entertain,” I said nodding towards Cassadee.

“We’re already a few miles away from the dock,” she frowned.

I looked at Hazelyn with a smirk. “We know how to jetski,” I said and pulled Hazelyn towards the back.

“You’re not gonna make me go on a jet ski in a dress,” Hazelyn stated as if she was daring me to make her.

I just looked at her. “You act like you don’t know me,” I smirked.

“Oh fuck no,” she said backing away, but I took her by the waist.

“Trust me?” I asked looking into her eyes. She just gulped and nodded her head reluctantly. I beamed at her and jumped to the bottom deck and pulled out a jetski, quickly revving it and looked at Hazelyn whom looked very hesitant. “Trust me,” I stated this time.

She just looked at me and hopped on grabbing on my waist for dear life.

“Hold on tight,” I warned as I started going towards the docks, and away from the yacht that was floating in the middle of nowhere.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” she yelled at me.

“Nope,” I joked.

“Ryan!” she squealed. “I refuse to die in this manner!”

“What manner? You’ll be with me though!” I pouted.

“Oh don’t you pout at me,” she smacked my arm.

“How did you know?”

“I can practically hear your pout in your voice,” she laughed.

Holy Fuck. She fucking laughed!

“You’re going to be the death of me!” Hazelyn squealed as I jumped a wave

You’ll be mine as well.



“You really need to grow up Ryan,” Hazelyn laughed as we walked back into the beach house soaking wet because of all the splashes caused by the jetski.

I just shrugged and took off my jacket. “Tell me you didn’t have fun,” I challenged her.

She just bit her lip at me and gave me a guilty smile. “I can’t. I had a great time,” she confessed, making my grin wider (If that was even possible).

“Exactly,” I laughed, plopping down on my leather couch. Hazelyn sat down beside me and we just stayed like that for a few moments.

“Do you miss being a teenager?” she asked me.

I looked at her. “Yeah, I do,” I said.

“What do you miss most about it?”

Being with you. “Being carefree,” I answered.

She nodded thoughtfully. “Remember when we didn’t have so many responsibilities? When we could just be whatever we want to be?” she asked as she stared off into empty space.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “I remember,” I remember the times when my only problem was trying to get you to like me. But now it’s much tougher. It’s getting you to stop hating me.

“And the times when we used to spend every waking moment with each other? That we can’t bear to stay away from each other?” she chuckled. “I remember when I was driving back to school after our summer vacation before you transferred, and not even 10 minutes into my drive, you already called,” she smiled lightly. She looked so peaceful that I felt like if I said anything I’d break her concentration.

After a few more moments of silence, she turned towards me with a solemn look on her face. “Where’d time go?” she whispered.

She instantly snapped out of her trance and jumped off the couch without another word, retreating to her room and leaving me alone with my thoughts and the pain she’s caused me.

“God knows how much I love you,” I whispered with my eyes closed. “I love you so much that it hurts.”



I woke up on the couch the next morning, still in my clothes from the night before. I was slightly confused at first, but everything came rushing back to me after the first 5 minutes, making me frown.

And I was starting to like waking up with a smile on my face. I guess we do have our ups and downs.

I got up from my position, making the blanket draped over me fall on the ground. Wait, what? I didn’t have a blanket on me when I went to sleep. Unless I sleepwalked.

I picked up the blanket from the ground, neatly folding it and setting it on the couch. I turned around and saw a note on the coffee table.

Day out with the girls. Made you breakfast in the fridge. Florida has pretty nice weather, so I wasn’t quite sure if you wanted a thick blanket, so hope you didn’t mind the light one. coming over this afternoon to hang out with you. Poor baby. Just kidding. See you tonight - Haze

I went to my room and got cleaned up, and when I was finally satisfied, I got out and got changed into clean clothes. Right when I finished, the doorbell rang, telling me that Caleb had arrived.

I trudged to the door and opened it, inviting Caleb in- who had a 6-pack of beer. “Nice,” I laughed as I closed the door behind him.

“Finally. I was getting tired of hanging out with the girls,” he frowned.

I shook my head and lead him to the kitchen where there was a plate, some kind of covering over it and a note on top of that.

“Hazelnut Cinnamon Rolls. Are they still your favorites? –Haze,” Caleb read out loud. “Damn boy. You’re something,” he shook his head at me. “Is it your birthday?” he asked.

“No, why?” I asked.

“Hazelyn only makes us these on our birthdays,” he frowned taking a roll and shoved it into his mouth. “And why she’s not a pastry chef, I have no clue,” he mumbled with a full mouth. “This shit’s good,” he said after he swallowed it.

I laughed at him as I grabbed a beer from the pack that he brought.

“That’s for later,” he said nodding at the bottle in my hand.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s past noon, meaning it’s late already,” I smirked as I popped the cap open. “Wanna watch TV?” I asked walking to the living room.

We ended up watching TV and talking about our hobbies. It turned out that he himself was a snowboarder, and occasionally went up to Stratton to board. I also found out that he was in varsity basketball when he was in high school. And he and Savannah used to date, but ended up cutting off because they realized they were better off as being buds.

“So, I figured that Hazelyn told you that I knew about her past?” he asked eyeing me carefully.

“Yeah,” I muttered.

“You know that not even once have I heard anything bad about you,” he smirked at me. “And trust me, I’m the one that Hazelyn ran to when she needed to vent.”

“I thought she would’ve already cursed my name,” I mumbled.

He shook his head with a chuckle. “She can’t,” he stated.

“Why not? I mean, I fucked up,” I said.

“Where’s the kid?” he asked me suddenly.

“What kid?” I asked very confused.

“Exactly,” he nodded thoughtfully. I was even more confused. “I’ve been observing you since you got here and I realized who you were. My cousin told me the whole story of the reason you broke up. And I was expecting you to be on the phone often asking about your child, or even have the kid with you. But nothing,” he explained.

“Are you a psych major?” I asked him.

He beamed at me. “Smart,” he said. A confirmation to my thoughts.

“So Mr. Psycho,” I smirked, earning an eye-roll from him. “What have you concluded with?”

He thought for a moment. “Hazelyn ran away without hearing your explanation. She needs to hear that explanation,” he said to me. “She’s still in love with you.”

I just shrugged, not giving myself a chance to get my hopes up. They were high enough as it is. “That’s what Savannah and Chelsea are saying too, but I can’t see it.”

“She can’t say one bad thing about you, yet she curses at your face. Not once since the day I’ve met her- have I seen her so angry when Sav was sucking up to you and especially when she called you Ryan,” he looked at me. I gave him a smug look.

“Only Hazelyn has gotten away with calling me that,” I explained.

“See? And Chelsea told me of your wake up call yesterday. Come on man, you can’t be that blind to not see how she looks at you. The hurt and longing are in her eyes, and so is the love. Come on now, man to man? I’d tell you if she hated you. I kept in contact with her, and up until a few weeks ago, she hasn’t said one bad thing about you,” he smirked.

“And that’s a good thing?”

He nodded again. “It’s one of those ‘I hate it, but I love it’ kind of feel,” he said.

“Did you know she had a boyfriend?”

“She had a boyfriend?” he repeated, and I nodded. “Since when?”

“6 months ago. They just broke up because he cheated on her with my ex girlfriend,” I smugly stated.

He started laughing. “What a small world,” he shook his head.

“She never told you?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Telling you man. She’s fucking in love with you,” he said to me. “Don’t give up. Make her listen to you. Get it through her stubborn skull. I know you love her. It’s a guy thing. She’s just scared. Prove to her that there’s nothing to be scared about,” he said to me with a serious look on his face.

I was about to say otherwise but the doorbell rang, making his serious look go away and replaced with his usual goofy one. “I’m glad we had this talk,” he said half seriously, and half jokingly before getting up and letting the girls in. But not before telling me – ““Fight for her.”