So Bitter Sweet

The signing was ridiculously awkward, the guys were being distant towards me and just cold, they would barely acknowledge my existence. Do they know what happened? I don't know how they could but what if they do, that would explain a lot. We were walking towards the van so we could drive back to the bus. It was me Jack, Zack, Rian, and Matt. When we got to the car it was silent until Jack finally spoke up.

"She was crying, I heard her."

"What?"

"Mya, she was crying and it wasn't silent movie crying she was shaking and it was really loud, we peaked into the room where she was with Matt and saw her."

"Fuck." I sighed, she was crying? I really need to talk to her.

"I never thought I'd see her cry but she was." He said distantly." She just kept sobbing and mumbling 'How could he do this'."

"Yeah, I get it Jack." I snapped loudly, does he think I want to here how I made the girl I'm in love with cry? Because I don't.

"Don't fucking yell at me! What did you do to her Alex? She's become like a little sister to me and I don't know what the hell you did but I knew it was fucking awful just by looking at her!"

"I didn't mean to Jack, I don't do these things on purpose!"

"What things!? What the hell did you do!? She couldn't tell us, she could barely talk!"

"She was walking around and she came into the dressing and saw me- she saw me-."

"What Alex? She saw you what!?"

"Making out with some chick! It wasn't that bad! I- I." I didn't finish, we pulled into the parking lot that had our bus and I jumped out and walked to the other side of it.

Nobody followed, they all just went inside the bus, except for Matt. He walked over.

"Matt I'm so glad you're not mad, you know how she is." I said when he approached.

"It's not about how she is Alex, you were wrong!" He was suddenly screaming at me," She trusted you and you pull this!? Do you know how much pain and abandonment she's been through?! Do you know how much damage you just caused!? Do you even care!? No, you don't! You don't know anything about her! You don't know how much she had to go through mentally just to open up to you, how much struggle it took to even let you touch her after what's been done to her!"

"What are you talking about!" I screamed, what happened to her? What is he talking about?

"See, you don't know anything! She's just some girl to you but to me she's so much more than that yet she decided to go with you and now her hearts broken and she can barely speak to anyone! You did that to her, I just want you to be aware of that! When you see her, if you see her at all I want you to know that you caused what she's going through. You had the most amazing girl in your arms, amazing and fragile and you decided to crush her instead of loving her."

"I might not know about her the way you do but I know the important things, people make mistakes but I do love her!"

"You don't know what love is. Love isn't causing the other person pain mentally or physically, love isn't showing absolutely no regard towards how they feel. What you had towards Mya wasn't love it was fake and I never want to see you near her again!" He screamed, storming away to the bus.

I couldn't respond, my life was crashing down around me and I couldn't do anything about it, I hated it. Half of my best friends are pissed at me, one of them wants me dead and the girl I'm in love with never wants to speak to me again. I need to talk to Mya but Matt probably won't even let me near her. I walked back to the bus and it went silent when I stepped in, Mya was nowhere to be seen but I could hear her crying all the way from the back room, it broke my heart. I went to go back there but Rian stood in my way.

"Matt's got it." He said quietly, looking at the floor.

"Move Rian." I growled.

"She doesn't want to see you right now Alex, I love you man but you fucked up, just give her some time."

Instead of responding I went to my bunk, every time I attempted going back there someone was in my way. I tried to go to sleep but she cried all night...