So Bitter Sweet

I clicked on the button that would purchase my plane tickets back to Maryland and suddenly felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. After what happened last night with Alex I realized that if I don't plan on seeing Alex I'm going to need to get the hell off of this God forsaken bus. It's like a holding cell when your hiding from one of it's residents. I just need to be away from Alex, that's how I got over Matt, distance. After he left I was awful but I got over him because I didn't have to see him every day. I already have my things packed and we're going to be arriving the venue in ten minutes where a cab is waiting to take me to the airport. I didn't tell everyone earlier because I'm not in the mood to have people trying to convince me to stay. I stood up and smoothed out my shirt about to walk out of the room that's been hiding me from life.

I stepped out and walked into the living room area, everyone was there except Alex which made me sigh with relief, this will be a lot easier without him here. Matt spotted me first and jumped up and tackled me with a hug, squeezing me tightly, the whole room went silent.

"Mya." He whispered.

"Hey Matty." I smiled, rubbing his back.

He finally released me and everyone took turns welcoming me back with happy eyes.

"I need to tell you all something."

"What is it?" Zack asked, a curious look on his face.

"I'm leaving." I said simply, when they didn't respond I continued,"My stuff is already packed and I'm leaving when we reach the venue." I said, looking each of them in the eye.

"Mya...you can't leave you just...well came back." Jack said.

"You can't leave near the end of tour, you have to at least finish with us." Rian stated.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Zack asked.

"Mya I just got you back." Matt said, sadly.

I knew I would hate this, I thought a quick exit would save me from this but it didn't.

"And you're not losing me, I'll keep in touch with you guys, I love you Matty and you guys are like brothers to me by now, I couldn't leave you forever even if I wanted to, stop being pansies." I said with a smile, trying to convince them.

"Uhm, I don't know you but from the stories I've heard you're pretty awesome and you're really hot." Vinny said, boldly.

Rian smacked him in the back of the head.

"What!?"

"Not the time dude!"

"No it's okay Rian." I turned to Vinny,"I am pretty awesome and yes I'm really hot, so nice of you to notice." I smirked, I would have liked to know him.

Nobody really said anything, averting their eyes and looking down as the bus slowed to a stop.

"Well that's my cue." I sighed, going towards the back to get my things, I'm really gonna miss them.

Alex's P.O.V

No, she can't leave, not before I fix this or at least try. She can't do this to me! I thought quickly and hopped out of my bunk running into the back room behind her as she grabbed her suit cases, I closed the door and locked it, pushing the couch in front of it and holding it closed.

"Alex, what the fuck do you think you're doing!? Get away from her!" Matt screamed,"It's your fault she's even leaving!"

"Fuck off Matt, let me talk to her!" I screamed back.

He banged on the door some more and I banged back and eventually it just stopped, I sighed and turned to Mya, she was standing there tapping her foot angrily, cutting me with her angry eyes.

"Get out of my fucking way Gaskarth." She growled.

"You can't leave Mya, please don't leave." I pleaded, she ignored me.

"I'm not messing around ass hole I have places to be and actual humans to talk to, I can't waste my time on scum right now." She insulted.

I almost prefer the silence I've been receiving from her to this.

"I just need to talk to you before you do this."

"Don't you understand!? I don't even want to look at you, why would I even consider talking to your ass!? I've been back here for awhile avoiding you and I had my reasons, now you need to respect that and get the fuck out of my way!

At least she's acting like herself again, but every word she said brought my self esteem down a few levels.

"Can you stop being a bitch to me for two seconds and just listen!?" I yelled.

"Sorry for finally giving you what you deserve." She mumbled.

"I think I got enough of my punishment when you were ignoring me."

She didn't respond and her eyes glazed over as she stared into space, tuning me out, I started talking anyways.

"Mya, I don't know if you're listening but I'm going to talk anyways, I love you Mya. That was the truth and I still do love you, I made a mistake that took you away from me and it's going down in history as the biggest in my life. The only thing that will top it is making the mistake of letting you walk off of this bus." I said, walking close to her.

I took her elbows into my hands and looked into her eyes, trying to make her hear me, trying to make her understand.

"I-I can't keep letting myself get hurt." She stuttered, tears starting to come down her face.

"Then let me be the one to protect it, give it to me Mya and I promise you it will be safe."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She mumbled.

"But I can keep it Mya, you just have to give me a chance."

"I gave you three."

"One more won't hurt."

"That's what I said last time and look what happened." She retorted, she wiped a tear away and looked at it in disgust,"Alex I don't fucking cry, well I didn't until you showed up, that sounds like a bad sign to me"

"Let me in Mya, trust me, be with me." I was asking a lot of her."I love you" I whispered, pressing my lips to hers, at first she didn't respond but then she started moving her lips with mine, the spark that rushed through me the very first time came back and I know she felt it too from the shiver that ran through her body. When I lifted my lips from hers she just stared back on me her cold green stare warming to the loving eyes I have grown to know.

"I'll keep you posted for that I love you too." She smiled, tangling her hands in my hair and bring my lips back to hers.

There was a loud bang on the door and it broke opened, the couch being pushed forward, we look and see every member of the bus pushing from the other side.

"Look at you macho macho men." Mya giggled.

They lifted their heads abruptly and a confused look spread across their faces when they saw her in my arms.

"I'm staying." She chuckled.

"What?" Matt and I asked in unison.

She smiled at us both," I'm staying, someone needs to call that poor cab driver and tell him he can go home."

"We're not back together, there are obviously some trust issues and I'm getting involved with you until you can stop being a little skank." She said, looking at me.

"I wouldn't expect anything less." I smiled, leaning into her.

"Wait so you are staying?" Vinny asked. She nodded."Can I talk to Alex now without getting the stank face?"

Her mouth drooped and she turned to me,"They were giving you the stank face?"

I nodded solemnly, she turned to the guys,"Awww, group hug!" She laughed, pulling them all close,"You guys really do care about me don't you?" she teased.

"So can they talk to me?" I asked, only half joking.

"It's fine with me." She lowered her voice,"But I doubt you'll have time I haven't been near you in weeks I have a feeling you'll be preoccupied." I blushed deep red even though I know she was joking, she can't resist an opportunity to make someone blush.

"I missed you man." Jack said, pulling me into a hug, as well as the rest of the guys, well except for Matt.

"Well I suggest shots." Mya said smiling, walking to the living room area.

"I like her." Vinny said, following her out.

Matt stayed behind.

"She might have forgiven you but that doesn't mean that I have to, she's too much into you to see through you but I'm not." He said.

"Matt listen, I know your still in love with her and I really could care less because I love her too and no matter what you say about my love for her all that matters is that we both know it's real. If you don't want to support us it doesn't matter because we don't need it, but I'd like my best friend back if it's not too much to ask."

"Right now it is, like you said I love her and you weren't the one watching her cry over you I was, you don't understand. It's only been two months and you already did what took me four years, I think that's a sign that you're no good for her. I will forgive you Alex but you need to give me some time to forgive myself for letting this happen."

"It had nothing to do with you Matt."

"It had everything to do with me Alex, you just don't know it." He said shaking his head,"I need a drink." He chuckled.

"I can agree with you on that."

And we walked out of the room, past the broken door and down the hall, watching the girl we loved laughing and taking shots. You don't have a choice about some things, loving her is one of them.