So Bitter Sweet

Today has just been...awkward. I never thought of Mya as the type to act awkward around someone because they almost kissed her. Last night after the concert she avoided me all night and now it's mid afternoon and she still hasn't said a word to me. I was sitting in the living room area, trying to figure out how to go about talking to her about last night. I don't know what was happening but I do know that I want to find out and I can't do that with her avoiding me.

I lifted myself off of the small couch and made my way to the back room where Mya was most likely located. The bus was moving but I had gotten used to walking on it by now. I walked into the room and saw Mya sitting on the couch with Mario Kart flashing across the screen. She leaned with the animated car as if it would help her turn better, biting her lip in concentration. I sat down beside her and she paused the game, glanced at me and then resumed it.

"Oh, hey Alex." She said, leaning with the car again.

"Hey, sooo what's up with you?" I asked.

She didn't respond, she just kept leaning back and forth along with the car.

"Mya?"

She sighed loudly and paused the game.

"What are you yapping about Gaskarth?" She asked, obviously annoyed.

"I'm trying to talk to you." I said, showing equal annoyance in my tone.

"About what?"

"Why are you acting so weird around me? Are you mad at me?" I asked.

"Did you do something that would make me mad?"

"Does me almost kissing you make you mad?"

She got silent, probably surprised that I was so forward about it. Her eyes flicked to the floor in thought before coming back up to meet mine.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said bluntly.

"Don't do that Mya, I know you know exactly what I'm talking about!" I exclaimed, upset that she's pretending it didn't happen.

"Sorry but no."

"Then let me refresh your memory." I scooted closer to her on the small couch and spoke in a low whisper,"It was last night, after you got hurt. I carried you backstage and laid you down on the couch," She nodded her head, " I got you some ice for your head, I adjusted it for you and when you looked at me I leaned in and closed my eyes," I let my eyes close and my body lean forward.

"And then I stood up." Mya added, getting up from the couch and walking to the other side of the room.

" And that's when you stood up. Then what I should have done was followed you," I got up and joined her in the place she was now occupying, " And I should have took your hands in mine," I clasped my hands around hers,"And kissed you." I pressed my lips to hers softly.

She dropped her hands from mine and let them tangle in my messy hair, and moved her soft lips with mine. The sexual tension spiked with a shocking suddenness the made us both stumble to the couch. We laid down and she let a small moan escape her lips as I ran my hand up and down her body. I removed me lips from hers and started to kiss her neck. Suddenly out of nowhere she pushed me off sending me to the hard floor.

"Ow..." I said, releasing a groan.

It was silent except for our ragged breathing, I sat up and leaned my back against the couch and she sat there and crossed her legs staring at the paused television. Neither of us broke the silence for about five minutes. I don't know what happened, one minute we're making out and the next I'm sent flying.

The silence was broken by Mya resuming her game, I stood up and looked at her expectantly.

"What?" She asked, not moving her eyes from the screen.

"Well...?"

"Oh, that was fun." She said simply.

I thought she would say more but she didn't, I stomped out of the small room childishly and plopped down on the couch in the small living room area. 'That was fun.'?! Not that it wasn't but it's not exactly what I was looking for from her. She could have given me some validation on where we stood with each other, a hint as to where we were going with this. Are we dating? Friends with benefits? Does she even like me? Nope, nothing. I ran my hand through my hair like she did but minutes before. Wait, validation? Ugh, I know what that means, I like her. Great, I actually like her. Wanting validation is a clear sign of that but I really don't want to, we're not even dating and she's already stressing me out.

There really isn't anything I can do about it though. I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow, I can't deal with anymore confusion today. So I'll tell her that I have feelings for her and she'll tell me what she thinks about it, then we can go from there. This girl just can't help but keep me on my toes.