So Bitter Sweet

"Move." Mya snapped, pushing past me and walking to the small living room area.

"Hey, watch it!" I exclaimed as I stumbled back.

"Cock sucker." She mumbled.

"Fuck you." I retorted.

"You wish I would."

"Bitch."

"Ass hole."

"I hate you." I lied.

"Get in line."

"Probably stretches across the world."

"No get in the line of people who say they hate me but they really just want a hug." She said, finishing with a smile.

I grumbled insults as I walked quickly to the back room, slamming the door behind me. I plopped down on the couch and tried to breathe, never in my life have I put my hands on a girl but this one makes me want to hire a fucking hit man. She's been doing that since I woke up and I can't take her shit anymore. We both know I fucked up and frankly I don't feel like discussing it let alone apologizing. I closed my eyes for a nap but someone swung open the door and pushed my legs off the couch taking their place next to me. I opened my eyes to see Matt staring back at me.

"You need to talk to her." He stated.

"She's being a bitch."

"It's Mya, were you expecting something different?"

We were silent for a minute.

"She likes you." Matt whispered.

"Hm, funny because I'm pretty sure it's the exact opposite."

"If she didn't like you she wouldn't be going out of her way to be a bitch to you."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does she."

"How do you know all of this about her Matt, what's your history with her? All you do is tell me 'how she is' What's up with you two?" I asked, I truly wanted to know, he seemed to know everything about her, all of her quirks, her personality traits, everything.

"I told you, we're old friends."

"No, I mean the whole story. Theres gotta be more than that."

"The whole story?" He asked with raised eyebrows, I nodded."Okay."

"Mya came into my life near the end of my freshman year, she was the new girl at a small school. She walked in with a Blink T-shirt, skinny jeans, a pair of black high heels and a bad attitude. Instantly the hottest girl in school." He chuckled, you could tell he hasn't thought about this in awhile." Well my big sister Cathy asked me to show her around and I did, she tried to get me into all sorts of trouble but we never got caught, she always knew how to get out of it."

"Just like now." I smirked.

"Just like now. We became best friends, never leaving each others side. When we went somewhere with her something out of the ordinary was bound to happen,like one time she came with me and my friends to this free concert downtown and she got on stage with the band and helped sing one of their songs, she was amazing and she had this beautiful voice, when they invited us back stage the lead singer was hitting on her and to get him to stop she told him I was her boyfriend." He laughed and shook his head.

"You liked her didn't you?" I asked, a smirk on my face.

"I was in love with her...but that brings me back to my point Alex, I never told her how I felt and then I fucked everything up by leaving her behind. She's a hand full Alex but I won't tell you she's not worth it. We're history but I don't want you to make the same mistake I did, you'll regret it.

I thought about what he said, realized he didn't tell me the whole story but decided not to say anything.

"I'll talk to her tomorrow." I resolved, Matt smiled and nodded.

"Alright." And then he left.

I laid back down and closed my eyes, trying to think of what to say to her.

Mya's P.O.V

I was waiting in the parking lot for Matt to come out, he said he just going to talk to Alex really quickly and then come out here and tell me what he said. He's been in there forever. Or maybe I'm just impatient, but he knows that. Just when I was about to go inside and get him he hopped off of the bus and jogged over to me.

"He said he'd talk to you tomorrow." He stated once he reached me.

"Ah! Thank you Matty!" I yelled, throwing my arms around him.

I went to pull away but his arms were securely locked around my waist, I pulled my head back, looking at my best friend in confusion.

"Matty what-"

His lips crashed against mine and I quickly pushed him off.

"Matt! What the fuck was that!?"

He stuttered for a bit before running his hand through his hair, "I'm in love with you Mya!" he blurted out.

"What!?" I asked, a number of things running through my head.

"I've loved you since Freshman year but I was to scared to tell you, but I'm telling you now!"

"Oh my God. Oh my God. This is not happening to me right now!" I yelled, running my fingers through my hair and pacing back and forth.

"Mya, trust me I thought I was over it but while I was in there talking to Alex I realized that I'm not and I never will be. I love you Mya." He said, stepping closer to me.

I was silent, for the first time in awhile I was at a loss for words. I took some time to gather my thoughts and process what just happened. Then I lifted my head and told him what I've wanted to tell him for awhile.

"Matt, the funny thing is I was in love with you to...but you missed your chance." I stated coldly.

"What? Mya I-"

"No you're gonna listen to me. That night, the night you left, I needed you and you weren't there! I needed my best friend but you turned me away! Matt what Kenny almost did to me in that limo hurt me in so many ways, but it was nothing compared to you leaving me behind to deal with it alone."

Kenny was my prom date Senior year, he tried to rape me before we were even halfway there, sounds like the fairytale huh? At this thought tears sprung to my eyes and the anger I've dealt with came back with an undeniable force.

"Kenny?" He asked confused, but then I guess it hit him, "...Oh my God Mya, I didn't know! If I had known I-"

"Shut up and listen to me dammit!" I screamed, the tears now flowing down my face,"You broke my heart into a million pieces that night but I put it back together, all on my own, without you. It would be pure stupidity to put it right back into the hands of the person who destroyed it in the first place. I'm a lot of things Matt but I'm not stupid." I seethed, wiping at my tears.

"I never meant to hurt you Mya, I-"

"But you did!" I screamed, "I won't pretend that I never loved you,and I won't pretend that I don't still have feelings for you after all this time, but I will tell you that we will never be together!" I yelled at him.

"Mya, I fucked up and I'm sorry! I am so sorry but I can't change it now but if I could trust me I would. Mya I do love you and leaving you was the biggest mistake I ever made but I can't take it back. I just can't."

I didn't respond, no matter how much I still loved him and no matter how much I wanted to jump into his arms and forgive him I couldn't. I wiped my tears and slowed my breathing, I walked up to him and put my lips close to his ear, ready to tell him the honest truth.

"I love you Matty, I love you so goddamn much but you can only hurt a girl like me that way once before she decides to fly away, there's no getting me back because I'm already gone" I whispered, my voice shaky.

I lifted my hand to his face and placed it there lightly and he placed his on top of it, closing his eyes. I moved my face so that our noses were almost touching and pressed my lips to his softly before removing them and walking away, leaving him behind. I won't lie and say that, that was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. And I have a gut wrenching feeling that this isn't over between us.