A spotlight of my own

I spent the 3 weeks before the prospects meeting at home and throughout Buffalo. Me and Dom went to a Bandits game the Saturday night before I would have to leave.

“I’ve missed you Shauna.”

“Same here Dom.” I smiled toward him before packing a handful of pop corn into my mouth.

“Well I’ll be headed to Dallas this summer, So maybe this summer we can go on a trip, before you head back to BC. Me and Lizzie broke up just so you know.” Dom and Liz had been dating since High School and we’re perfect together but I guess things went south when he left for TCU and she stayed at U-B.

“I’m not going back to Boston Dom.” He gave me a highly confused look before returning to the game.

“Why? Switching schools? Or are you foregoing school and entering the draft? Mom and Dad will be mad you know.”

“No and No, I’m quitting hockey Dom. BC was hell.”

“What do you mean? you won a National title and you’re like the #1 prospect if you do decide to finish your degree later.”

“The guys never respected me, I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to play hockey again, nothing will ever live up to my Shattuck years.” I shook the image of me, Jon and Sidney with our jerseys on at their senior dinner, out of my head.

“Wow, I’m sorry, you should of told me I would of kicked their ass. Shauna you can’t let them stop you. Oh and Jon called yesterday.”

“Jon?” I turned toward him ignoring the fact that the Bandits had just won.

“Toews. He asked how you were doing and he told me to tell you he’d be seeing you in Toronto, along with Jack, Taylor and Sidney.”

“Really? Oh my god I’m going, wait…Why? They’re finally getting drafted too?” I remember thinking to myself of reasons why it took them that long to be drafted.

“No Shauna,” Dom let out a small chuckle and taking a sip of his coke, “They were all drafted shortly after their senior year. Sidney is with the Penguins, Jon with the Blackhawks, Jack and Taylor I don’t know. Oh and you’re friend from when you were a kiddie, Patrick Kane? Hes with the Blackhawks too.”

I was so shocked I had no idea what to say, I should of paid attention to the NHL I guess.

“You’re kiding?”

He laughed again, “No Shauna, you’re just as good as them too. I know mom and dad want you to stay at BC but if it was that much of hell I think the NHL is a good idea.”

“What would you do Dom?”

“Well…” He exhaled and looked around, “You’ve already won a national title, That’s why I went to TCU, to win a title, I didn’t care all too much about the education like mom and dad thought I did, If I had won the title my 1st year I would of left and gone to the NFL then, does that answer your questioin?”

“I guess so Dom, I guess so.”

I left the following morning for Toronto, not knowing what to expect, hopefully no one from BC would be there. Walking into the hotel there were a bunch of guys with bags and sticks, none of them looking familiar which I was so thankful for. The drive was exhausting and I just wanted to get to my room in peace but it seemed like the hotel clerk was taking forever. After about 5 minutes of standing there the clerk handed me back my I.D., gave me directions to my room and said that she was a huge fan of Junior, shocker there.

I spent the rest of my 1st night in Toronto in my room watching baseball and eating junk food, Finally falling asleep around 1. It was my week to do whatever I wanted and I planned on doing exactly that.

Monday mornings were times I always hated for different reasons, Mondays signified the end of the weekend, the start of the work week and for this week the beginning of the, sure to be boring, NHL Prospects week.

Walking into the Hockey Hall of fame convention center I figured I’d see maybe one familiar face at most, I didn’t really believe Dom when he said the Shattuck boys were in the NHL. The NHL was the holy grail of hockey, but from what I had heard at BC, from locker talk, the NHL was all Canadians, sure Sid and Jon were Canadians but they played American hockey, there was a difference. I didn’t understand back then why I was even invited to this NHL prospects thing, I figured it was a fluke, Sure I was BC’s best player and I knew that but yet again this was the NHL, something I never even dreamed about.

Streamers and banners were everywhere in the entrance, along people cheering and taking pictures. It was weird even at BC I was very good at ignoring fans and not caring about the media but this was over-whelming. People were screaming my name, wanting an autograph, I just stood there gawking at them, confused beyond belief. Next thing I knew someone had shut the door and was ushering me inside underneath their stature.

“Its been a while Shauna.” I looked up from the bleak ground to see a smiling Emerson Etem. Man had I missed him, even if he wasn’t from the ‘05 SSM crew I had bonded with him more then anyone else.

“Emmy!” I yelled and jumped into him, I just couldn’t contain my excitement.

He laughed and set me down, “My girl, how you been? How was BC?”

“eh, we won the championship but it wasn’t as fun as Shattuck, what about you?” Smiled back at him as we started walking toward wherever he was leading me.

“Aw, well I was proud of you, my captain, I’ve been in the WHL. Doin’ work.”

I thanked him and we continued walking till we got outside the room where all the current NHLers and prospects would be.

“You ready Shauna?” He turned with an amused look on his face.

“As ready as I’ll ever be Em, lets go take these bitches by storm!” He laughed and opened the door to a room of future rivals.

He lead me over toward his table where he would introduce me to fellow prospects Quinton Howden and Ryan Johansen.

“Are you Etem’s date? You would be the only one to bring a girl here you fuck.” Quinton said as he shook my hand.

Emerson laughed and shook his head, “Guys this is Shauna. You know ‘The Girl‘”

“Oh shit, Sorry, I figured ‘The Girl’ would have been butch looking” Quinton air-quoted the words The Girl which I laughed at.

“What do you mean the girl” I said as I took my seat between Emerson and Ryan.

“Well everyone here was talking about this phenomenal girl hockey player and how she was better then Crosby and Toews! Etem told us you were too.”

I couldn’t help but blush, I didn’t know if he was flirting with me or not. “Well I’m good enough to be here but Sid and Jon are heads above me.”

We sat around for about 4 hours hearing NHL coaches, scouts and the commissioner talk about what the league was, what they except and all that hoop-lah. After the meeting we were sent out to do whatever we wanted for the rest of the night as long as we were at the rink by 9am Tuesday morning.

“Want to hit up downtown tonight? A bunch of us are.” Emerson said as he took my hand to lift me up from the table while all the other prospect guys starred at us, Just like BC and Shattuck.

“Sure, I mean I need time to get ready, what hotel are you at?” I might as well go out, I had nothing better to do that night.

“Same one as you my dear, everyone of us Prospects are there. Lets meet in the lobby around 9 sound good?”

I nodded and followed him back to my car, I had the whole after noon to do nothing and I of course was going to do just that. I got back to the hotel and slept up till 8 then ordered room service and went to get ready.

An hour later with a full stomach I remember looking in the mirror at myself, seeing my strawberry blonde hair pin-point straight and my natural tan skin looking beautiful against my lavender/blue dress. For once in my life I felt I looked like the girly-girl I could have been, hopefully someone at the club would notice it too.

In the week back at home, before the Prospects showcase, I had decided that if I accomplished one thing in Toronto it would be getting my first kiss. I was 18 for god sake and had yet to even feel those kind of butterflies. Hockey had literally been my life back then and having a break, even for a night was a treat that I humbly accepted.

“Wow Sh-Shauna, ah…” Emerson paused and blushed a bit as I hugged him and stepped back.

“Emmy you clean up nice!” I said as Ryan and Quinton came from the escalator behind Emerson.

“Shauna you single?” Ryan asked as Quinton checked me out, I remember feeling beyond awkward then, No boy had every been floored by my appearance. I glanced around the rest of the lobby toward the packs of other Prospects starring at me, thoughts of raced through my head, ‘did I really look that good?’

“Cabs here fella’s and lady” A younger looking boy yelled as he headed toward the door.

“That’s Cam Fowler,” Emerson whispered into my ear as his hand wrapped around my hip leading me toward the taxis. “He’s what you say, Cocky?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at Emerson, people always made judgments but I wasn’t about to make one without talking to the kid… It helped in his case that he was fairly attractive.

“So what are you about to do tonight boys?” I asked as we sat in the taxi waiting for the driver to tell us we had arrived.

“I’m about to get fucked up!” Ryan yelped as he threw his hands up in excitement. Thank god the legal drinking age was still 18 so Ryan could accomplish his goal.

The inside of the club was dark with random lights flashing, This was my first time in a club and I remember be scarred shitless by all the people. I guess we were considered celebrities that night because the boys lead me into the V.I.P. section which was full of red velvet couches, a rotating bar and a dance floor full of people. Immediately I started recognizing guys from the Prospects meeting and I guess they remembered me too because most of them would smile and start talking to each other while looking at me. Back then I didn’t realize I looked like such a Barbie and the guys liked it, I thought they just remembered me.

Emerson, Quinton and I were lead to a table full of guys in one of the secluded corners by Ryan. As soon as I walked up, out of Emerson’s shadow, the guys all smirked toward each other making me feel even more awkward.

“Alright boys she isn’t food, she’s one of us, Shauna this is Cam Fowler, Taylor Hall, Brett Connolly and Jack Campbell.” I smiled and said Hi before Emerson lead me away to the bar.

“First time in a club eh?” He asked as he ordered us both bottles of Blue Light.

“Yep. Take it as your not going to let me pay for the Blue are yah?”

“Ehhh you’ll pay me back at some point, probably on the ice when you assist me tomorrow” He laughed and grabbed the bottles before moving back toward our table. “You coming Barbs?”

“Barbs?” I asked as I hopped off the stool and grabbed my beer from his hand.

“Barbie, Barbs, You look good Shauna, like an athletic Barbie, that’s why all these guys are starring at you.”

“Thanks Em, Its still weird, I bet I’ve played against half of them,” I looked toward him waiting for an answer to my non-existent question.

“I know, look at it this way you’re not a hockey player right now, we’re here to have fun don’t think of any of them as more then guys.”

“Are you suggesting I hook up with one of them Emmy?” I stopped walked and placed my hands on my hips with a fake pouting face.

“No but the way you’re dressed don’t think they’re not thinking it.” He said as he walked toward the table turning around at given points to check and see if I was still there. I just kept my pouty face on, I wasn’t about to give in.

“Keep lookin’ like that Barbs, You’re missin’ the party!” Emerson yelled as he was about to sit down, “OKAY JESUS SHAUNA I GIVE UP!” He pivoted quickly and before I could figure out a good place to hide he grabbed me around my waist and had his head in the crook of my neck. “Now now Shauna I know that you don’t really want me so you standing here isn’t helping your case… and you’re just tempting me.”

He was right, I had no attraction to him, sure he was a cutie but not my type. I had no intentions of playing him either, for one thing I didn’t know how and there were plenty other fish in the sea to screw with, Emerson didn’t deserve it, at least back then he didn’t, before he dissed Buffalo.

I turned to face him, removing his hands from my hips, “You’re right Emmy, now lets go set you up with a nice puck slut.”

The rest of the night was a lot of fun, I danced with Ryan and Quinton while Emmy did ‘Bro-Work’ as the boys called it. I ended up calling a taxi with Ryan around 12, we at least didn’t want of fuck up our potential careers.

I woke up that Tuesday with a bit of a headache, sun-light blinding my eyes and the TV blaring the weather at me. I guess God hated me that morning too because my alarm started going off telling me it was 730am, I had to be at the rink in less then an hour. I left after 10 minutes of the alarm going off, my hair in a ponytail and wearing a BC shirt with sweatpants. I had made it a ritual to hit the ice earlier then anyone and no matter what the circumstances were.

I always loved the CanLan rink in York when I played youth, I had won countless summer tournaments there and knew practically everyone that worked there so entering it for the NHL prospects showcase was a bit weird. Memories of laughter and happiness flooded my brain as I entered, almost making me want to cry. I had grown so much, I had left my home away from home to prove myself. I had left to play hockey not for fun but to be the best and it was certainly catching up with me. I would of given anything to be back there, being 12 years old again, playing hockey for just fun.

That was when the twisted realization hit me, I wasn’t playing hockey for fun anymore, I was playing to stand out, to have a future. The times of youth, rep and Shattuck hockey were long gone. This week was about my career, not for fun. I never thought I’d reach that far, Being a girl I couldn’t have that high of expectations but walking into the East rink of York CanLan it hit me, I was here and I deserved it, the NHL wasn’t that far off. I could do it.

“Shauna! Long time no see!” Mike the zamboni man yelled as he was walking toward me.

“Mike! I’ve missed you!” I hugged him as he laughed.

Mike was like a coach to me, He’d let me on the ice whenever I wanted and would teach me things when I was younger. He never played professional, let alone college but man did he know the game. He was part of the reason I had made it this far.

“So how is it Shauna? Being a celebrity and all?”

“I’m so not a celebrity, hockey’s been good though. Any rink rats runnin’ around here lately?” I looked around toward the rink while reminiscing again.

“None like you Shauna, you’ve made me very proud, even though all I am is your zamboni man” He smiled and let out a sigh, “Early practice? I know the other prospects wont be here for a bit you going out?”

“You know me too well Mike.”

I changed in my own locker room Mike had given me and headed out onto the ice. It was early and the fog was still around the ice, just like the good old pond hockey days.

After taking a few laps I started slapping my puck, that I had stuffed it into my glove, along the boards remembering how stiff they were. I knew those boards like the back of my hand, nothing had changed about the rink. Eventually I started shooting the puck at the net hitting whatever corner I wanted to, Slap-shot, wrist shot, back hander, you name it I could place it. It must have been about 20 minutes before I heard the voices.

“You always were the over-achiever Shay.” the voice was beyond familiar, I kept shooting thinking it was in my head.

“Even with West Seneca.” The puck hit the post and went flying, it wasn’t a hallucination, this voice was different then the previous.

I heard crunching of the ice but for some reason I didn’t want to turn around but I was forced to when two gloves warped around my stomach and pulled my back into it’s chest.

“Boom-Boom I knew you could do this.” I turned around to see Jon staring at me with his smirk. “I’ve missed you Shay, missed you a lot.”

“Jon,” I whispered as I looked behind him at a shaggy blonde haired kid, Patrick Kane. Man had he changed.

“Hi Shauna.” He smiled as he glided towards us. Jon turned around still holding me around the waist.

“Wh-Wh-Why are you guys here?” I choked on my words, I was so happy to see both of them.

“Don’t you know Shauna?” Pat turned toward Jon, “Shay? Boom-Boom, Come on Tazer her name is Shauna.”

I laughed a bit before looking back into Patrick’s puppy dog eyes. “No? Tazer?” Switching my glance to Jon, “What did you taze poor Patty on the ice, wait…” I paused for a minute thinking it through, ‘How did they know each other?’

“There nick-names for little Shauna us Shattuck boys came up with, you wouldn’t understand Mr.OHL. Nah, Tazer is just a nick-name Kaner over here gave me.”

“Wait how do you guys know each other?” Jon’s arm finally removed itself from hip while grazing my butt, talk about awkward, before returning to his side while turning toward me. His eyes looked me up and down before dead-lock starring at Patrick.

“Well Shauna, we’re Chicago Blackhawks. I see you’re still up to the ‘I don’t care about the NHL’ attitude.” Patrick winked…Even when we played together I hated the NHL because there were never girls in it, somehow he remembered.

“Oh…Wow,” I really wasn’t that shocked, Patrick was amazing when we were younger and Jon obviously was at SSM. “So what are you here to do? Scout me?” I asked as I started stick-handling my puck again but stopping as soon as I realized the boys were starring at me. “What?”

“That’s exactly what were doing Shay.” Jon replied as the other prospects started hitting the ice in their jerseys we had gotten at the meeting yesterday.

“I have to play against you guys today don’t I? Wait Isn‘t the NHL season still going on?” All the prospects were starting to do warm-ups laps while stealing looks at us.

“Yes. Its playoffs but we just won our series and no one else has, free time!” Pat responded, Other guys then entered the rink with matching jerseys of Jon and Patrick.

“Go, I’ll catch with you guys after.” I started to skate away as Jon and Patrick exchanged smirks.

“Lunch, Dinner and club with us.” It wasn’t a question but a demand Jon was implying, I was still perfectly fine with it.

Jon and Pat told me after to meet them outside in the main lobby and we’d go to lunch or whatever then, I felt guilty brining them away from their NHL buddies but hey I knew them first.

The game went by quick, Emerson and I connected for 6 goals, leading us to a 12-11 victory over the NHLers. Jon and Patrick had shared 8 goals, with the closest other NHLer getting only 3, The other NHL team was supposed to be a bit better, or at least that’s what the locker room talk was.

Emerson told me that Ryan, Quinton and the Cam kid were playing later the day with the other prospect team and they had been watching us because Ryan came up to me as I was walking through the doors to the lobby to tell me that some of the guys knew me. Of course he didn’t know, or didn’t want to tell me their names but told me they were also ‘92s, or the “Young-in class” as they call it. I guess I’d have to watch my own back because Emerson was the only one that talked to me on the team. The guys weren’t like BC though, it was a comfortable silence, They all knew each other from playing in junior leagues but it was obvious they respected me, especially after my first shift and first goal.

The lobby was busy as hell, I remember not being able to walk 2 feet without walking into someone’s back or chest, it didn’t help that I was about a foot shorter then everyone. Everyone around me was hugging and hand shaking, I defiantly should of considered walking out with Emerson or Ryan, stupid me.

“There you are Shay” Jon smiled as he pushed through the 2 guys blocking me from him. “Hey Semin, Ovie move would yah?” The two guys laughed with Jon and allowed him to pull me forward into him. Both of them checked me out when I walked by which earned a pissed look from Jon.

“Pats over there with the Blackhawks, We’ll just meet him outside I don’t want you running into anyone else, you’re kind of a short here.” He smiled down at me while slinking his arm back around my hip. “I mean that in a good way.”

“I know, but hey being a midget has its positives…” As I was about to list them off Jon’s body surrounded me taking me into a huge hug, while pulling me up off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his hips just to make sure I didn’t fall as one of his hands held my butt and the other in my hair. We probably looked like couple meeting at the airport but whatever, I didn’t care Jon was my best friend at SSM and no one would ever compare.

“I’ve missed you Jon.” I started tearing up, from happiness.

“Don’t cry Shay, I’m here,” He slid me back down to the ground as I released my feet, his hand moving to the small of my back. “Dom told me about BC, I’ll kick every single one of their asses.”

I couldn’t help but frown at the memories of BC, I had never hated hockey till then. “Its fine Jon, I’m here…away from them.”

“I’ve never seen you frown before.” The serious tone to his voice scarred me a bit. The conversation would be continued later on though because Pat came running through the doors.

“Shauna! I knew Tazer kidnapped you!” Patrick only got about 2 feet before stopping dead in his tracks. “Shit did someone die?”

I looked at Jon who was now smiling and we both began laughing, “No Patrick, Now lets go get food!”

We ended up going to Hard Rock Café because the boys figured the dim lighting would hide us from paparazzi, which they were right. No one had spotted us, even at the bar where the NHL playoffs games were on. We stayed at the bar for about 2 hours watching hockey, Jon and Pat would tell me who on the teams to watch out for and who would be good to make friends with. The way they talked about the game made me feel like they thought I was defiantly getting drafted it was just a question of where.

We left at around 4, they had to catch a flight back to Chicago at 6 which meant I would be alone, again. We went back to the rink to get the boys hockey stuff and to say our good byes.

“I won’t let you leave me again Shay,” Jon said while Pat loaded their bags in taxi outside the rink. “Where’s your phone?”

I handed him my phone while laughing at Pat struggling. “I think Pat needs help.”

“Not anymore,” Pat came over and hugged me before snatching my phone from Jon’s hands and adding his number.

“Will you guys be at the draft?”

“Do you want us to be?” Jon asked with a smirk when Pat hit him in the side with his elbow.

“Yes.”

“Will be there.”

The boys each hugged me goodbye and told me to drive back to the hotel safely, Jon also promised he’d call later that night when they landed. Pat laughed and told him I had him whipped before he also said he’d call me and as soon as they were done in playoffs we’d be “hitting up” Buffalo together, I firmly agreed.

As soon as I got back to the hotel I flopped onto my bed humming a happy melody. Hopefully the rest of this week would be as good as these past 2 days.