Don't Tell Your Mom the Babysitter Was in My Bed

Matt can see straight through me. I shouldn't be so surprised. I spent a lot of time with him while working and when Val was nowhere in sight. Sometimes I didn't even bother to ask where she was because I was grateful that I got to spend time with Matt. I was also afraid that if I asked about her then she wouldn't be gone or she'd somehow make it back quicker. I also feared that the mention of her would snap Matt out of it and make him realize that I wasn't the one he wanted. Make him realize that he was too good for me. In ways, he is. 

"You know, you put Matt on such a high pedestal." someone said from behind me. I almost thought that it was Johnny, but it wasn't. I turned around and met two green eyes. Zacky V. 

"What do you know?" I asked rudely, pulling my feet from the now cold water and pulling my knees to my chest.  Chill bumps rose on my skin. He pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders. Such a gentleman. He knelt down beside of me with a sigh. 

"Look, we can all see it. We always knew that you were into Matt back when you were just his babysitter. The look you give him still hasn't changed." I chuckled, half listening to him. I already knew what he'd say. 

"And here I didn't think you remembered me." I laughed before trying to take a drink of my now empty Budweiser. I sat it back down and grabbed Zacky's beer, taking a gulp. 

"Forget someone like you? Are you kidding me?" he laughed. 

"Hmmm." I replied, taking a sip of beer...also not understanding what he meant. Someone like me? He was vague. 

"Look, I'm just here to save our family a whole shit load of drama. I wanted to let you know that Matt and Val aren't together anymore and Johnny didn't tell you because he was afraid you'd run straight to Matt. Matt just went ahead and told Val that he cheated on her with you and she just left..." he explained quickly. 

"Wow." was all I could say. Johnny lied to me. To me. I can't believe that!

"Ya know...you need to push Matt off of the high fuckin'  horse you put him on and put Christ up there. Matt may have loved you once, but he moved on. He moves on quick. The only reason he wants you now is because someone else has you. Thats his MO. Either you need to give Johnny a clean break and go the fuck home or you stay with him and try to love him the best you can. But don't you dare use Matt to break his heart. You'll fuck up the friendship of the whole group if you do that." his words made steam come from my ears. 

"You have a lot of fucking nerve to come to me and tell me this! I know I'm not perfect, but I'm not like all of those other whores who'll fuck the whole band if they can. You think I'm gonna run into Matt's fucking arms just because he isn't with Queen V anymore?! You and Matt can just dream the fuck on! You seriously think that I got together with Johnny to be closer to Matt? Fuck no. I'm with Johnny because he is a wonderful guy and he deserves to be loved." I explained. 

"I know he deserves to be loved, but not by someone who is truly in love with someone else." he whispered, standing again. He turned to leave when I spoke again. 

"But I can try." I whispered. he turned back to look at me again. 

"Try like hell and if you can't...Stay the fuck away from my family." and with that, he was gone. He left my mind racing with images of Matt and Johnny. I even tried to replace Matt with Johnny in my memories, but it didn't work. I couldn't imagine Johnny doing the things that Matt did and I sure as hell couldn't see Matt doing the things that Johnny did. 

When my feet dried, I stood up and put my shoes back on. I walked back into the unfamiliar place that the boys were staying in with only my beer in my hand. I downed almost a half of bottle before I threw it in the garbage. I gave Zacky's coat back so Johnny won't think I'm sleeping with the whole crew. I turned around to head upstairs to Johnny's room, but Matt was sitting on the stairs with his mixed drink in his hand. Let me guess. Gray Goose and Cranberry juice. I didn't stop to talk to him as I passed him on the stairs, but he stared at me as I walked past. I couldn't help but to wonder what he was thinking about. Hopefully Probably me. I pushed Matt out of my head as I laid down next to Johnny's sleeping body. I curled up next to him as if he were the love of my life and drifted off into my dreamland. A perfect world...

"Lacey, sweetie. Wake up, you're gonna get sunburnt." Matt's voice woke me as he gently rubbed my shoulder. I rose up to look around and to my surprise, we were at the beach. It looked like the beach, but it didn't sound like the beach. I couldn't hear the waves crashing or the seagulls calling out. Just silence. It wasn't sunny like a normal beach, but cloudy as if it would rain or snow. I couldn't tell if it was hot or cold, but Matt was wearing his swim trunks and I wore my bathing suit. I was sitting on a red towel and Matt on a black one. 

"I...It's not sunny." I stated in a confused daze. 

"I know, but you can still get wind burnt." The wind wasn't blowing. Matt was reading his Metallica book and barely paying attention to me. 

"Matt, you're scaring me." I told him in a panicked tone. Suddenly his eyes went wide and the sand turned to water. Our towels disappeared and we sunk into the water. I watched helplessly as we both drown in the water- not even trying to resurface. 

"You're just gonna let me drown?" Matt whispered to me. I woke up with a jolt and I found Johnny still asleep. What the fuck was that? I don't know, but it makes me think that I seriously need to check on Matt. What if it's a sign? I slid quietly out of bed, making sure that I didn't wake Johnny. I slowly made my way into the hallway. I then remembered that I had no idea which room was Matt's, but I also knew that I had to find out because I have a seriously bad feeling because of that dream. I slowly opened the door next to Johnny's room and I peaked in to find a fucking coat closet. I sighed and moved away. I walked down the rest of the hall (which was doorless) and turned a corner to the left. There was a door on the right and I slowly peeked in. I felt a cold rush of air from the air conditioner which had to be set to 'below zero'. I looked at the bed to find Brian and his girlfriend wrapped in each others arms. Brian was snoring. I slipped out of the room and decided to check the one across the hall.  It was cold as well and I felt chill bumps on my arms before I got to the bed to see who was sleeping. Bingo. It was Matt. He was breathing, I could see. But slower than usual, it seemed. I sat down on his bed beside of him and gently shook him with my hand. 

"Matt." I whispered, shaking his arm and hoping that he'd open his eyes. He opened his eyes and squinted them before lazily stretching and rubbing his eyes. He looked at me again- in question of course. 

"What the fuck?" he asked groggily. He seemed okay so I breathed out in relief. But I still wanted to ask. 

"Are you okay?" I said softly, looking down at his still sleepy eyes. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" he replied.

"I just had a weird dream...it kinda freaked me out so I had to come and check on you."

"Oh...Yeah, I'm okay. Just a little hungover. Thanks for coming to check. I'm glad you still think that much of me." he said with a light chuckle. I was about to get up and leave the room when he grabbed me and pulled me down beside of him. He pulled the covers up over us. He then wrapped his arms around me. I was a little overwhelmed by the rush of heat, but it was a lot better than the cold air that chilled my bones. 

"It's cold in here." he said to me as if it were only expected of him to keep me warm. 

"It is...but Johnny would get mad if he saw us like this." I told him with a sigh. He chuckled and moved away. 

"So you and Johnny, huh?" he asked me in a more serious tone. 

"Johnny and I...Yep...We haven't really talked about being exclusive, but I'm not stupid. I know what he expects." I explained the best I could. 

"So you continue to play the game." he stated. 

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Aw c'mon! The game! You know what we both want. The only thing between that now is Johnny." he told me. I raised my eyebrows and shook my head. 

"Now you know how it feels." I told him before I slipped off the bed and left his room. When I looked up, I saw Johnny's disappointed eyes staring at me.

"Who's in there?" he asked gravely as he stared at me. I knew I couldn't tell him Matt. That would kill him. 

"Zacky. I got cold last night so he gave me his jacket. I just threw it in there. He's still asleep." I said as if it were nothing. I hoped to God that Matt didn't decide to come out. I playfully hopped on Johnny's back and kissed his cheek. He smirked at me. 

"Take me for a piggyback ride!" I yelled playfully. He began walking and walked us back into our room. He threw me down on the bed and looked at me for a minute before he laid down on top of me and started placing soft kisses on my lips. I smiled up at him before I deepened our kisses. He kissed and nipped at my neck for a minute before he stopped and looked at me. 

"What's wrong?" I asked when he stopped messing around. 

"You smell like Matt." he stated in a disgusted voice before moving away from me. 

"I...I'm sorry, but I don't know how. I haven't even seen him since last night...I didn't even get near him." I lied. Lying through my teeth. But hey, what can you do?

"I know, I trust you...I'm sorry." he said before pulling me back to him and kissing me again.  I sighed when he pulled away again. What is it this time??

"Lacey...There's Actually something I wanted to talk to you about." he said, pulling me into his lap and kissing my forehead. 

"What is it?" I asked. To be honest, I wasn't the most patient person. 

"I know that last night was the first time I've seen you in months...or even talked to you. But we've known each other for a while now and I..." he trailed off, losing his nerve. 

"What? Just tell me. I'm nothing to be afraid of." I told him with a reassuring smile. I then leaned up and gently kissed his lips. Johnny is really a great guy and I like him a lot. He smiled again, regaining his nerve. 

"I really like you a lot and I just wanted to ask you...You wanna be my girlfriend?" I couldn't say I was surprised, but actually I felt that way. 

"Yes! Of course!" I replied happily. He smiled and returned kissing me. We made out heavily for almost an hour and things were starting to get pretty hot and heavy until Johnny stopped. 

"How long has it been?" he asked me in a husky voice before biting his lip. I knew exactly what he was talking about. 

"Uhm...honestly it's been almost two years." I told him truthfully. As much as I enjoy sex, I'm surprised that it has been that long. 

"Wow...I'd like to...well, you know. But I want to wait for the right time..." he explained to me. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him lustfully. 

"I think it is the right time." I told him. In all honesty, I thought that having sex with him would make me forget about Matt. 

Johnny was on top of me grinding his hips against mine, heating the fire even more. I felt him go hard after I let out a small, muffled by his kiss, moan. He nipped at my neck as I slipped my hands under his shirt. My hands aimlessly roamed his back. He kissed a sensitive spot behind my ear, making me call out his name and dig my nails into his back. Before I knew it we were both naked and Johnny was inside of me. To be honest, it felt great. He felt amazing and I was almost sure that I had forgotten completely about Matt. But after we finished, a flood of guilt covered my whole body. Johnny had fell asleep already, but I was wide awake. I felt like I had cheated on Matt somehow. It was as if My body seemed to think that it truly belonged to Matt and I began to feel sick to my stomach. It was almost like an allergic reaction. I quickly put my clothes on and ran out of Johnny's room to the bathroom.  I passed Matt on the way and it seemed like he had just finished taking a hot, steamy shower. It made me even sicker. I barely made it to the toilet before I threw up. I didn't even get a chance to shut the door. 

"Oh shit, sweetheart. You're sick." I heard Matt's voice before I heard the door shut and lock. I couldn't exactly stop to look at him or question him. I felt a cool breeze as he pulled my hair away from my face and held it while I barfed. He also rubbed my back to soothe me. After all food was gone I got up and rinsed my mouth out. After I finished I stood there not knowing what to say. He came closer to me and reached up with his hand and traced a circle on my neck with his fingertips. 

"Johnny must've sealed the deal, huh? That wasn't there this morning..." he said, making me realize that I had a hickey. Fuck! 

"He...he cares about me, Matt." I told him, looking away. 

"You sure about that? Who held your hair while you puked your guts up?"

"He's asleep, Matt." I argued my case. 

"Did you ever start to think that I care about you?"He asked, turning away from me. 

"Maybe you should've told me that before I started dating Johnny."

"Hell, you knew that I was in love with you." he argued back. 

"Oh yeah? Were you in love with that pretty redhead, too?" I asked, feeling the slightest bit jealous. 

"No. She was just a friend. I needed a date." he replied in an indifferent voice. 

"Lacey, I love you so much. I don't want to argue with you. I just want to hold you and kiss you and protect you and love you." I was stunned by his words. More stunned when I realized he felt the same way about me that I did him. I didn't know what to say. I reached over and ran my hand down his arm to make sure he was real. 

"See that? Chills. You're the only one who can do that to me. That's how I know that I love you." he said, raising his arm to show me. 

"That doesn't mean that you love me, it just means that you like the way I touch you."

"And that." he replied with a smirk. 

"You know, you have time to decide if you feel the same about me, we don't have to be together right away. We can just be friends and see how things work out with you and Johnny. I'm willing to wait for you, you know." I moved closer and brushed my lips against his- not necessarily a kiss. 

"You'd do that for me?" I whispered. 

"I'd do anything for you because I love you."

I love you, too. I wanted to say or maybe even scream out, but my words escaped me as he pulled me into his big arms.