Absolutely Hate You

"I can do this." I said to myself in the mirror. I closed my eyes, there I imagined walking into school. People staring at me, laughing, whispering... then Jenny's group comes over and make their quiet snide comments. I opened my eyes quickly, I can't do this.

What if Mac told people about what happened two days ago? About him and I... and us? Maybe he was mad at me for rejecting him so he made nasty rumors. Would he really do that? I questioned.

Yes, he's that kind of guy! I started freaking out. Then I thought... it didn't make sense.. Why is he like this? Why did he say he liked me? He's lying, he wants my trust to destroy me in the end! Like... that movie with Freddie Prinze Jr. and Rachel something. It's exactly like that. But in the end, the guy never ends up with the girl. But he hasn't hung out with his friends in awhile... he's been sitting at lunch with me for a couple weeks now... was it because he probably made this bet to win me then take something from me and go back to his friends to show it off? I started groaning in frustration, I will be a laughing stock. Why am I so stupid? How could I not get the clues together in the first place?

"Yo, Die you there?" I heard Kain yelling from down the stairs. I laughed.

"Going all gangster down here?" I said as I walked towards him.

"Yep, we saw Romeo and Juliet again. It was Jenny's favorite movie. I can't help but get the feel of some of the gangster words hidden in." He shrugged.

"Is it the one with the cuter version of Leonardo DiCaprio?" I asked smirking.

"Well, I guess. I don't know... he looked messed up to me." He said.

"Yea, cause he's doing drugs! And probably because Jenny is wrapped up by him." I said.

"Yea, okay. Maybe. But anyways my gangster slang is mixed up with modern sayings." He said.

"Oh, so sad." I said and frowned, "Anyways.. thanks for giving me a ride. I don't think I could drive coughing profusely." I said coughing into my arm.

"It's okay, what are best friends for?" He said with a smiled. I slapped his arm. Yea, I'm pretty violent.

"Yea, I guess. Can I ask you something?" I asked cautiously.

"Yea, sure. What is it?" He looked at me.

"Is...." I bit my bottom lip. "Is Mac the type of person to be going around saying false rumors?" I asked him.

"Hmm, I don't think so. I told him I had diarrhea once and he didn't go around yelling it out." Kain said, I laughed.

"Well, that isn't a big deal you know.. Like.. what if he's playing a game on you. Do you think he's the kind of guy to be playing games on you? Like on a person?" I asked him.

"No, I know Mac very well. He's a pretty cool dude. So, what if he doesn't care about a lot of people... it doesn't make him a bad person." Kain said.

I sighed, "Yea, I guess." I paused to think for awhile.

"Can we go now... I don't want to be late." I said changing the subject.

Kain scoffed, "Saying from the girl who regularly ditches first period." I smiled.

"You're finally back!" Daniel greeted me with a hug. I was having and urge to cough but I refrained from it.

"Yea, I'm about to cough." he let go quickly and I coughed in my arm. "Thanks. And thanks for missing me too." I said.

"Yea, it was boring without you. I spoke to this girl name Julie." He said.

"Which Julie?" I asked.

"Julie Stenford." He said shrugging.

"Oh, she's really... okay honestly I don't notice her. She's in another group." I said.

"Yea, well she was really shy but I cracked her up." He said proudly.

"I applaud." I said clapping, we laughed. Kain then came to us with his arms around Jenny. Daniel stared at Jenny then looked away. I saw it and tried not to make it obvious I was watching.

"Hello, mis amigos." Kain said in spanglish.

"Hola, mi amigo y novia fea de mi amigo." I spoke in spanish.

"Hey, I know what that means... Die." Jenny said rather scary. I shrugged.

"Um, well I have somewhere to go. I'll see you later." Daniel said... but he was staring helplessly at Jenny.

What was going on, Jenny gave him this guilty look but then looked at Kain with a smile. I'm going to get to the bottom of this later.

"You're back." Mac said next to me. I frowned. I am going to tell him straight out.

"Are you playing with me?" I asked him. He looked at me confused.

"Yea, I like playing with you. You look funny when you're mad." he grinned.

"No, I mean are you playing some kind of flirting game with me? Like... you know a hurtful game that you go out and brag to your friends about." I said. He looked at me hard.

"You think I'm the kind of person to do that? I may be a jerk and an asshole but I'm not some coldhearted bastard." He said defensively. He turned away from me... he was mad at me.

After awhile of class I cracked.

"I'm sorry. I just... you...this is all strange." I confessed. I ran my fingers through my hair, he was still ignoring me. "Fine." I said and turned away from him. I begged enough. When the bell rang we went our different ways.

"So, what's the deal with you and Jenny?" I asked Daniel.

"Nothing.. nothing at all." He uttered.

"You can't lie to me.. not many people can lie to me and get away with it." I stated.

"I don't know how to say it so you wouldn't hate me." He said.

"What? Just trust me enough to tell me. Please." I said to him... he looked down at his table the looked at my face.

"I like Jenny... not like as in friend but like like." He said then he looked down ashamed. I was shocked but I couldn't blame him. Jenny was pretty and popular.

"How?" I asked... I had to know if I was right.

"Okay, well... when we were talking in English... I told her she looked familiar to this girl I met at camp. And she recognized me too." He said. "It got awkward from there on." He said.

"Why awkward?" I asked confused... so they recognized each other from a long time ago... nothing to be ashamed of.

"It was awkward because that girl I met at camp.... she was my first love." He said quietly then looked down.

"So... Jenny..." I said slowly trying to process it properly and not take it out of proportions.

"Jenny was my first love..." He said sighing. I took a breather.

"What kind of camp was it?" I asked.

He hesitated, "Fat camp. I was obese... and..."

"Jenny was too." I entered. I was really shocked right now.

"Yea, and she was my first kiss too. I really liked her... even though she's a year older than me.. I really like her but... I'm unsure... I mean, even if I still liked her now, she would still love Kain." He said defeated.

"Did you tell her?" I asked.

"Yea, and she refused, she doesn't have the same feelings I have towards her." He said. I looked down, what am I supposed to do now? Stupid Diana! I said to myself in my head. I just had to go snooping in.

"Are you judging me now?" He asked looking at me. I looked up at him and ran my fingers through my hair.

"No, Daniel. But... I do believe that you have to move on. I hate Jenny but I love Kain... and he's your friend.. and Kain loves Jenny. Who am I to say that they shouldn't love each other?" I said honestly... as much as I hated it... Kain belongs to Jenny... and Jenny belongs to him.

"I just... I really like her." He said.

"Those feelings will pass, soon enough. Just try looking around.. meet others." I said. He nodded..

"More fishes in the sea!" I said making a fish face. He smiled mildly.

"I'm going to go." He said and stood up walking out of the library without saying goodbye. I looked down... was that the right advice? I grabbed my bag and walked around trying to find a good book to read. As I passed one of the aisles I see Mac there... sitting.. sleeping. I didn't know what I should do? Go to him or leave him there. He was mad at me... but maybe I should try harder to not get him mad. It was my fault for making accusations. I walked over to him and sat next to him. I poked his cheek. He kept swatting it away and I couldn't help but laugh at his oblivion.

"Wake up! You have drool coming out of your mouth." I whispered. He opened his eyes slowly. When he looked at me he smiled... but then his smile went away. He put the book back in place and was about to walk away but me being the lazy butt I am grabbed his jeans and held onto it tight. "Wait, I want to say something." I said. He looked away and was yanking off my hands.

"Please.... please Mac." I begged... he sighed then sat down next to me. I let my legs go out straight and put my hands together. I didn't want to see his face.

"I'm.... sorry for accusing you of playing with my mind." I said under my breath.

"Do you think I'm that cruel? That's the answer I'd like to know." He said sighing again.

"I don't know... I mean. I just thought..." I said and stopped, "I was thinking of how you've been talking to me more and more.. and you have been acting nice and flirting with me all of a sudden.

And I keep asking, why now? You keep going in my mind and I think about you constantly..." I paused, I wasn't in a realization of what was going out of my mouth.

"Maybe... I accused and thought you would play tricks on me to make me keep hating you." I said realizing what I did wrong.

"I started talking to you because... I- I...." He said.. I looked up at him and stared into his beautiful blue eyes.

"Yea?" I asked... then the bell rang. I groaned.

"I'm sorry, let's talk about this after school." I said and walking to my next class which was practically a half mile away.